Sex, Drugs, & Soul

87. My Fave Jewish Friend is Getting Turned on by Jesus | Sammi Sadicario's Healing Journey Through Music, Voice, & Faith

• Kristin Birdwell • Season 4 • Episode 1

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Can music heal anxiety? 

In this conversation, Sammi Sadicario, vocalist, voice coach, and radiant creative, shares her powerful transformation from Jewish roots to a profound connection with Jesus and how she is navigating this shift in ideology. Through music, neuroscience, and spirituality, Sammi reveals how voice becomes a sacred tool for healing, identity, and awakening.

We explore:
🎶 How singing and sound regulate the nervous system and heal anxiety
🧠 The science behind vocal vibration, vagus nerve activation, & emotional release
🌈 Cultural identity, reparenting, and the courage to evolve spiritually
💓 Using voice as a portal to presence, purpose, and Divine connection
🔥 The “messy middle” of transformation, creativity, and soul expression
🙏 How faith, music, and frequency help shift emotions and open the heart.

This episode is for you if you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, questioned your beliefs, or longed to reconnect with your voice—both literally and spiritually.

✨ Watch now to discover your voice as medicine.

👉 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share with someone ready to reclaim their voice and rewrite their story.

Time Stamps:
00:00 Intro – Anxiety, Voice, & Relationships
02:54 Spiritual Awakening Through Music
05:58 Cultural Identity & Faith Deconstruction
08:58 The Messy Middle of Creative Transformation
12:07 How Music Impacts Emotions
15:05 Frequency Healing & Sound as Medicine
18:01 Creative Process & Divine Downloads
31:41 Music, Lyrics & Emotional Alchemy
33:04 Singing for Nervous System Regulation
34:30 Vagus Nerve & The Power of Voice
36:51 Collective Consciousness & Sacred Expression
39:50 Voice as a Healing Tool for Trauma
41:39 Authenticity vs Fame: Staying True
44:50 Reclaiming Self Through Sound
51:12 Boundaries, Relationships & Visibility
55:05 Personal Growth Through Faith & Voice
56:59 Voice, Spirituality & Intimacy Integration

Connect with Sammi:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/sammithesiren
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thevoiceexpert

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Kristin (00:00.524)
Welcome back to another episode of Sex, Drugs, and Soul, where today I took a Benadryl to relieve some anxiety, take the edge off. And I have on my dear friend, Sammy Satikario, singer, voice expert. Love you, glad to hear you.

Today's episode of sex drugs and soul sponsored by today's drug

Hey, progress.

I'm here for, yes, progress. This is what growing up is.

Yeah, and earlier I was like beating myself up a little bit because you know, tried all I did all the things right? I'm like I had talked to my anxiety I moved I meditated and then I'm just like I still feel like that tent, you know, the little butterfly I was like, fuck it. Half bitty it is. Looking to see if I got a text message, you know? Because I told you in the bathroom that I'm just kind of navigating like a little bit. You know, I think I'm secure and then I get into this

Kristin (01:00.812)
do getting to know someone stage and like I want to text on me with them all the time but no cannonball love bombing this time all right so it's like it feels a little rattling or my I just noticed my anxiety coming up a little bit as far as like the communication goes

Healing that anxious attachment though.

And honestly, I think I was more disoriented. Because sometimes I'm like not anxious about.

Definitely, you're definitely sometimes avoiding. Yeah.

For sure. you know. No, the tracks. Like, you know, I think about one of the relationships where I ran, where I felt like I was partially running. I was partially like coming back to Austin for me and like taking care of myself. But then also, you know, I had my Nikes on and I really want to find, I want to put my slippers and stay. And so it's just new. That brings tears to my eyes. I don't know why.

Sammi Sadicario (01:34.924)
At least in the time I've known you.

Sammi Sadicario (02:00.127)
gonna chill.

So we talked about maybe talking about some things about being in the messy middle. Yeah, as it pertains to relationships or our creative endeavors that we like long for or are pursuing. But first I want to ask you like what's turning you on right now in life?

Yeah, we brought up the massive.

Sammi Sadicario (02:23.534)
I've been so excited to answer this question, Kristen, because we've been friends for going on four years, and you've seen me in so many ups and downs. And so what's turning me on right now, Kristen? Well, your favorite Jewish friend is getting real turned on by Jesus.

Sammi Sadicario (02:49.23)
Have you had a self-session with Jesus yet? No, self-pleasure. Not self-pleasure. You know, I'm gonna decide how deep I want to go with that on today's, which we talked about, just because I have a music career that I'm aiming for and my audience I'm aiming for is the Christian community. Like I'm really pulled into worship music. Wow, what? What I've been saying for years, I'm like, I'm a gospel singer.

Closer.

Kristin (02:54.254)
Teachings.

Kristin (03:09.614)
I didn't realize that.

Kristin (03:18.014)
I totally got that voice resonance.

And, yeah, thank you. And I was just, embracing it. And it's calling me in such a way that everything moves out of the way. Like what falls away is not meant to be there anymore. And all of my work lines up to what is said in the Bible around song and worship and the word. And so all the work that I've been doing with voice experts and in...

in studying voices and in studying how voices express truth and express brokenness through their tone and through their language are all supported within the New Testament. And it's been a really powerful and terrifying experience. Because it's, I went on a hiking trip with my stepdaughter, she's 18, and we went to Wyoming and it was this Catholic trip and which I don't identify with.

Catholicism completely, I love the saints idea, but I'm I'm talking directly to Jesus. I don't need to go through a middle man. Like Jesus, like pick up the phone. That's so weird. I got you on speed dial. He's been singing through me for years. I just didn't understand it. I just didn't understand it. But I knew I was called in my angel. I was like, I have an angel that sings through me in these moments. And I'm like, it was Jesus. Okay. Noted.

Got your own speed out.

Kristin (04:41.038)
Cool, well, and that's interesting. I love like the and, right? I mean, like you grew up Jewish. Do you still identify with like being Jewish or is it like, is this new found teaching or resonance or relationship that you're creating with Jesus rocking the foundation of that? Or is it deepening it in some ways or I'm curious like how you're navigating that.

Great question. I am and will always be. It is an ethnicity as well as a religion. I was talking with my partner about it last night, because we're both Jewish and we both lean towards Christ. We've both been, you know, before finding each other. And the day we met, were both, I was like, well, I really like Christian teachings. I really like Christ's teachings. And I identify with the values of that. And he was like, my kids have been raised Christian. And so we really, we connected over that.

You wish?

Sammi Sadicario (05:31.17)
but we don't have the same Catholic shame and Christian shame, which is really interesting. So when it comes to intimacy, it's a different kind of shame, I think. I think I could talk about shame a little bit today, but anyway, with being Jewish, I definitely still identify as that. My humor is Jewish, my wit is Jewish, right? This body's Jewish, my nose is Jewish. I can't change that stuff. I don't wanna change that stuff. And my soul...

is connected to something more spiritual than what modern Judaism is. Because in modern Judaism, it's not about like, this is our connection with God. It's this is our connection with our people. This is our connection with our ancestors, which is like identity politics. It's not really about a spiritual connection. It's not even really about like the values and teachings. It's about like, because it's so, because we said so.

I never liked that saying.

I've never liked that. I've been fighting it for years. just studied Buddhism and when I was 13, Wicca and Taoism. And I went to a bunch of churches with my friends and always really enjoyed the singing and enjoyed the worship and enjoyed the gospel. And then, you know, it just kind of hit me about four months ago. And then on the trip that I was on, I just like was in the woods in this meadow, looking at this mountain, and I just finished peeing in the woods.

Like, which is my favorite thing ever. I don't know if you know that about me. that, I will continue to say it.

Kristin (06:57.08)
But I love that you do. Literally my favorite totally will. Like yeah, can't take the country out of the girl.

Yeah, you can't take them out. When I was in the mountains, I had a series on Instagram, which was bathroom of the day. And I would take pictures of these amazing sites, because a rock climber, of me rock climbing and like, this is from a bush. So that's my favorite. And so I just finished peeing and I'm in the mountains and I go, okay, God.

If you want me to have a direct relationship with Jesus Christ and accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior, please show me. Please show me and I will say yes. And I just started hysterically crying. And like my whole body just like released and it felt like years and years of like not fully being who I am. And because this gospel singer part of me has been there for so many years and

Singing has been such a strong identity, but I haven't been singing the thing that I want to sing. And so I'm all about that right now.

There's a song that I guess I kind of identify. I think it's more of a faith-based song. What is it? Hard-Fought Hallelujah with Jelly Roll. it's so good. You know I love Jelly. But it's so good. I get on kicks, right, where I listen to a song over and over. This is when I was trying to think of, Brandon Lake. think, yeah, he's an American.

Sammi Sadicario (08:20.066)
Jelly roll?

Sammi Sadicario (08:33.326)
Brandon is a Christian singer.

So they partnered and he's, I always love how Jelly's open about his faith too.

I didn't know that. mhm. I don't know Jelly Roll very well.

Yeah, but I was just thinking that, but so I didn't know. And to me, that one also sounds more secular. So I didn't know, like, where do see yourself kind of navigate more gospel style, like old hymns, or is it like kind of new or blending the two? you're going to go to that.

I'm in the messy middle. I'm in the messy middle. Perfect. Great. I'm in the messy middle. Yeah. I'm sitting down and what's cool is because I'm like going to church and listening to worship music and then coming home and like learning whatever song that felt strong to me on the piano. And now my piano is getting better. And like that's been years and years of practice and not getting any further. And now my piano is like, I just played that whole thing. Okay, I just did that. And so there's like last night I started, I mean, right now the songs that are coming out, they're

Kristin (09:02.51)
better bring in the right

Sammi Sadicario (09:27.918)
truthful, they're, they're, Jesus, are you real? Is this really the path I'm meant to go down? They tell me that you'll set me free. Is that true? And so it's really like asking those questions. That's the part of it that I'm in. So that's really lovely because, you know, when I look five years into the future, it's going to be a completely different relationship with this. It's going, but right now it's in this, like, is this real? Please show me.

Yeah, only you're getting the text messages that you want. It's like a new relationship, right? You're really, I was just making a joke. No, I think this is beautiful and this is totally not where I saw.

You had no idea. I had no idea. It was like I won't tell you what I want to talk about.

I love this, because for me it brings in a different flavor of soul and spirituality. And I just started reading not too long ago the Gospel of Thomas. So I'm getting more into the teachings of Jesus because it's different than the brimstone, the fire and brimstone that I grew up with in some aspects. In some aspects I had a different outlook or perception. So it's like, I'm revisiting it, but at a slower pace, I think. And also having self-pleasure sessions.

Yeah, but I was listening to this pastor, this very famous pastor with my partner. What is his name? I know his name, but it's not, it'll come up like later. Derek Prince, very famous pastor. He was a British intellectual scholar and then became a Pentecostal pastor, which is really random. And he was talking about, he's like, sex is good, sex is holy. And my partner were like,

Sammi Sadicario (11:06.594)
well, if you don't say, let's do that, right? So, but I think it's just like about the intent. I mean, I don't necessarily have strong, I mean, I do have strong opinions on it because of my past and my history. like, we didn't even grow up with like, I remember my mom saying like, sex is a, about, I never heard like sex is sacred. That was never something that came to me. Came to me. And so,

And so I didn't grow up that way and it wasn't until I grew up, I went through some things and I went, wait, what if I do want one person? What if I do want to move in that direction? What if I do wanna create a relationship with myself, with somebody else rather than like having it in a bunch of different directions, which is my past. But even now I've been in a relationship for a year, we live together, like we've got like a promise made, a promise ring made.

And I'm rediscovering, but now who am I again? Who am I in this relationship? Who am I? How do I take care of me first? And that's really hard.

It's important to take care of yourself and nourish yourself to not lose yourself completely in the relationship or kids or whatever the other circumstances are. I'm talking about you, but also moms too. I think it's very important to do those things or have your own life. It enriches the relationship by bringing it back to the relationship too. It's hard. Yeah.

messy, I dare say. Dare say. It's messy.

Kristin (12:48.16)
It's kind cool that y'all are going on that journey together too. Yeah, we are.

We music together. So we've been working on this cover song that he made into this really beautiful, it's a, have you seen Severance? Did you watch that Severance? It's TV show that like got really, really big in the past six months. And the final song of it is the song, Windmills of Your Mind, which is like round, like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, the windmills of your mind. And so he was like, we need to create this song and we've worked on it, we've done it. Dear audience.

No, I wouldn't.

Sammi Sadicario (13:20.814)
I've sung this song well over 350 times. Wow. And it's just like not right yet. And I looked at him yesterday, I was like, I will do my best to make this song work, but I don't wanna sing about this stuff anymore. I wanna sing about God. Oh, wow. And I'm just, done singing about the dark things right now. It's been years and years.

Well, think I've seen some things that you posted about how music can, what is it, not hypnotize, but- Entrain. Entrain us. And that's why sometimes, even though I love some of these songs, I don't default to them because I'm like, I don't want to repeat that over and over in my mind and get in a groove. It's like, I know it can be a release or feel seen in a certain way, right? But at the same time,

I want to sing something that's gonna uplift me or raise my spirits or in a different way, not get me trapped into some lower vibration or frequency or repeating a certain track.

Yeah, I think I've thought about this a lot because as I've given, as I've started bringing that into the conversation in my social media with my audience of, pay attention to music you're listening to because it could be, just, I made a YouTube episode about it. Is it healing or hurting you? I think it is important to have the songs where we release, but once you have that release, what are you filling it with? Like what, and that's how healing works. It's like, need to, yes, let go. need to.

release the anger, but then we do need to fill it with something else. And so are you gonna refill it with more anger? Or are you gonna refill it with sadness? Or are you gonna refill it with joy and hope? And it's okay, you can't go straight to the joy and hope because you still need to release the anger. It's not about like, you know, there's no spiritual bypassing here. We are human beings, full spectrum, full spectrum. But that is a, I think,

Kristin (15:05.998)
Full spectrum of emotions.

Sammi Sadicario (15:13.282)
That is something I'm like working through and how do I, in my leadership and in the conversations that I bring to the table, teach about because it's, because I am starting to advocate for, our music is really hurting us. The music on our radio is pretty dangerous. And it's creating a lot of the sickness that we're seeing in the world because our cells are not getting the worship that they need. Like we are, as human beings, we are, and I'm sure you've heard this, but you your aunt hasn't, like our,

As human beings, our primal form of release and medicine is singing and dancing. Like that's it. Food, singing, dancing, sex. Like that's what we did as like around a campfire, right? Okay, our food system's dead. Our sex is, you know, not the sacred thing that it was, right? Or that's not necessarily true, but you know, where we are in society, like that's huge part of the conversation you have here, right? Okay, our singing and our dancing, like.

what is that to in the music on the radio tuned to 440 Hertz is really damaging to ourselves and it's supposed to be tuned to frequencies that call in God.

I was going to ask you, I was like, what frequency is it?

Yeah. And that's, literally, study it and call it, it creates war within us. What? Why? And that happened after World War II, that that was instilled Rockefeller. The story goes, right? Like, and you never know with these kinds of like things that carry around with history, like what's real, what's planted, but as the story goes, Rockefeller had all of the nations change all of the instruments.

Sammi Sadicario (16:56.846)
to be tuned to 440 hertz. And as the story goes, the Nazis used 440 hertz as part of the control system for the Jews. So they would play music tuned to that frequency because it creates despair and creates hatred amongst people. And when you listen to the same song at 440 versus like 532, it's a completely different experience. I'm like.

Is that the ideal frequency, you say 532 or 432?

I 532 is to, I don't have the others memorized. I think 532 is to the heart. 432 is also, is a good one to be near 440 Hertz. funny enough, autotune can't work with any other frequency other than 440. So we have like these tools and you cannot use them. So it's pretty fascinating. does like.

Okay.

Kristin (17:39.576)
that other than 440.

Sammi Sadicario (17:50.062)
speak into something that makes you go ask more questions. And I don't know if I told you this, this is actually in your apartment. So when you housed me and got me landed here, you were doing some Jesus things, I was not yet, but you were doing some, you were, were absolutely, that was like very Jesus-like of you. do? You really did, you did. You made like, you had a studio apartment.

Jesus, thanks. Do it. You were doing it.

Sammi Sadicario (18:16.268)
who are the king size bed and you were like, come stay with me. Even though I love my alone time and love to hermit and don't really want to see people, you can live in my bed with me.

I let a few select people.

It's awesome, I'm forever indebted to you, forever indebted. It was really, and I would do meditations and guided visualizations every day, because I was in such a down place in my life. And one of the, and there's a lot of them that have come true. There's a lot of like, in eternal work I did in your apartment that's like come true.

Me too in that apartment. I'm not there anymore. I don't know if you know I'm not in that. Okay, I couldn't remember if I... Yeah, but...

I love that apartment. Forever, forever that apartment.

Sammi Sadicario (18:59.086)
was like, by the way, it's gone forever. Yes, I did know, I did know. We left our mark on that play, or left its mark on us. But one of which was that I'm standing in front of the UN. And I'm like speaking and singing and campaigning for them to change all the instruments. Wow. And so that's been like a part of like my through line for what I move toward in life. And so that's like a vision that I'm like, all right, that's a North Star.

We loved her, Mark.

Kristin (19:27.158)
Yeah, I love that. So I think it's still important to have those North stars even in like, especially in maybe the messy middle, right? Or do you, would you say that it's important for you to have those North stars or the visions?

on the way to the North Star, right?

Yeah. And it's also enjoying every phase that we're in, think, as we're... But I mean, no, because I think I thought about this one day. I was somewhere, I don't know, probably in bed or hanging out. But I was like, savor this, you're going to miss this one day. And when I think about getting to the vision that I hold, I would miss like...

the certain aspects or slow time or whatever it is, right?

You'd miss where you are today. All the problems you have today. They're nothing. They're nothing.

Kristin (20:18.306)
All of it. So I mean, just, I was like, you know what? Yeah. And I've recently been listening to a lot of Neville Garter, you know who that is? So it's kind of, I just really like, and he talks about God, I believe in a lot of his different teachings, but I think it's a good, it's just, I love playing it at night when I'm going to sleep. It's just like a good sign off and it just helps me trust more and like have faith that it's like, it's already done. I'm just meeting her or that version of me.

I the name.

Kristin (20:48.366)
And now I get to let go and have life surprise and delight me. I love that. it's more easily applicable for me in certain areas of my life than say, relationships. Right now in this moment. But like my dream and vision, I'm like, yeah, kinda it's like a Jesus take the wheel, hands off the steering wheel type of moment, right? I love that we're talking about Jesus so much.

I'm talking about Jesus a lot these days. I love it. these days. shit.

I didn't mean to play, no, I can't play anything because then it will. Well, I don't know if it'll pick up well and then also I don't know copyright. Copyright. Yeah, I don't know how much you can play of something before it's like. It's like eight seconds or something like that. Yeah.

This doesn't pick up well.

Sammi Sadicario (21:31.298)
Second, like that. I don't quite remember. I'm supposed to do that research this week for my job.

Okay, yeah. Tell me about your creative process then now, like as you're being inspired in new ways. Do you have like a writing schedule that you stick to? Do you have like, I guess you have jam sessions with your- But do I- Structure may help the messy middle, right?

Have structure. Lover.

Sammi Sadicario (21:55.106)
the messy middle. Well, I mean, it's all pretty new. I, you know, I've been on this voice experts journey for quite some time where I've been positioning myself in my teachings and it's been really hard for me to switch to singer version of me, especially in public. I'll like do three posts where I sing and then I chicken out. And so today I committed myself to 30 days of posting singing videos.

and using just strong text on screen and moving in that direction. that really helps me write music because like social media does help me in my personal creative because it helps me go like connect with my audience. Cause I always write from an audience. Like I feel like I'm pulling from the future. I feel like I'm pulling from a connection with people because I've been on a stage performer my whole life. You know, I've been performing on stage.

I mean, it's funny because like we haven't said any of that on this podcast. We just like jumped right into this and haven't done any, which is probably good. But I've been a stage performer since I'm eight years old. And so it was always about the audience and now recording is a different thing. So I'm really learning the recording process. It's really hard. It's really humbling. Nothing is finished. But yesterday I recorded doing a cover of what's the song, Holy.

It's a worship song and it sounded really good. And I was like, okay, I can do a few of these and then like learn how I want to add my harmonies, how I want to do this. And then I can focus to be a little more in the other, because it's hard to like learn how to song write and learn how to record and learn how to produce while working a full-time job.

Like it is really hard to do all of the things as an artist these days. And that's why people tend to collaborate. My partner and I collaborate a little bit, but it's hard to also collaborate with the person you live with because fighting happens. And we're working through that of like, what are our boundaries in this? And so I'm like, was telling you earlier, I really want to go to Nashville and just...

Sammi Sadicario (24:11.736)
pay for a few sessions and be like, just for the learning experience of what does this look like? How do people interact like this? If I bring this part of the song, how can this help, this person help bring this next thing out of me? And then how much can I do on my own? So I'm very much in the middle of learning my process, but I generally, when spirit moves through me, there's several things that happen. One, I'm in a public setting and somebody does things where they are calling in some negative crap.

and that's happened many times. I think I told you about that time.

like,

that you went to some event and there was like some weird evil, some kind of energy.

Yeah, this been awesome.

Sammi Sadicario (24:54.146)
Yep, somebody doing a sacred Shavasana. And like, was black magic. just, it was. Three people had heart attacks. They were in their 30s. It was terrifying. And several other people left going to the dark sea. Heart attacks.

What? I'm like...

heart attacks in Austin, Texas at a health event. What? Yes, they were smoking a lot of nicotine. Yes, they're taking nootropics. Totally, but like, come on.

Like there or like in the room or like later on or just.

One person during that event, that, but the ambulance was called three times. Whoa. Yeah. My friend passed out. He's a really healthy dude. So there were serious physical things. And for me, it was a spiritual experience. And that was the first time I started to uncontrollably sing to move the energy in a room. Like I couldn't stop it. It just started coming through me. And that was the first time it happened.

Sammi Sadicario (25:50.808)
The next time it happened was somebody was doing a seance in a house I was staying at. And I started to also uncontrollably sing like dark spirits out of the room. was like I just knew what to sing. I've never actually told these stories like recorded. And the last time I was at a health event and there was like the voice inside me is just like, say this, say this, say this. And I was like, shut up, shut up.

What?

I'm not yelling this out in a room full of people right now. And then finally like I did. I like, I'm leaving now. I literally just went, well, I don't know how much we want to tell the story, but basically this like, this health person, this like, who's created this method, chiropractic method. He was giving a workshop and you'd think with somebody talking about health, they would look healthy or sound healthy. He was white as a ghost, hunched over. He, his voice was like,

I would crackling, couldn't really understand what he was saying. And if my work around voice experts and around like having like a clear, distinguished, authoritative voice means anything, this man is not working with God. And that's where my, you know, it wasn't just intuition. I was like scientifically observing every aspect of it and then going, okay, do I trust my work? Wow. And so I yelled out, project your voice, you can do it. And then I left.

my goodness. But he was doing like really weird things. Like he would like touch somebody's back and they would like jump up as if like a spirit had entered them. And I was like, this looks like something out of The Exorcist. Weird things happen in Austin. I don't know if you've had the same Austin experience. I think we talked about this. You were like, I have not had that.

Kristin (27:36.174)
I'm in Austin and then I'm also not. Fair enough. You know, like I'm kind of, don't, I do some things, but I also don't, I think you like definitely go network more, go to like more of these certain different events and I, I don't do that as much probably. You don't. I mean, I did just sign up at Soho House. So I'm networking more and like meeting people and being like doing creative things there more. And that's helping me like get out more and meet, but I've also traveled, you know, and

just kind of find my groove. Yeah, but I mean, I've heard of some things or some of the, whether it's pretense in the Austin spiritual community or like, I've heard of some weird shit. I just haven't experienced it firsthand.

sounds probably good. You're probably just protected.

Good, yay. God is protected and supported. That has always been one of my mantra affirmations that I repeat. I've also, my daily reading, most of the days has a little scripture. So it's been an interesting blend for me of scripture and the lessons or teachings and then also mysticism or blending that with power of my mind and all this. Yeah, don't know, I've been loving it. So I'm interested in...

chatting more about that and also I'm curious. I've always, you know, talking about navigating those different aspects of songwriting or creation or collabing on certain things. That's not my experience I've ever seen of you. Like every time that, or when I've co-wrote something with you or we just had that jam session, it just seemed like the words just came out of you like so easily, like just flew onto the page. And so I don't know, maybe. Yeah, I'm like, I was like, yeah, cause it just seemed like it was just like a.

Sammi Sadicario (29:16.461)
little hard on myself.

You're right.

natural rhythm and, yeah, so I was like, that is not my experience. But I know that we can also be our harshest critic or like hold ourselves to a higher standard, right? So I think, and I think it's beautiful that we can hold ourselves to like what we want to create or put out in the world.

it's probably speaking to the same messy middle, right? Yeah. Because I'm like, I'm not at the end product yet. So when I do write, and this is when we wrote a song together, this is what I did, is if I sit at the piano and just play four chords, things just come out. Like if someone plays just four chords over whatever it is, like the song writes itself. But once I start thinking, like I can't think, I have to just do and experience. the way that I've

the flow happens is through like that whole diagram. And I should show you this diagram. I thought about like printing the diagram and bringing it, but I was like, I don't even know what it leads to. It's just this step-by-step process of really like what I've done to clear the way for God to speak through me and sing through me. And like the whole words, core language upgrade and how that plays a role. And then now in listening to all these Christian teachings about like Derek Prince talks about self-pity.

Sammi Sadicario (30:33.326)
being like how the enemy works through you. And it was like, oh, well, I have this whole like words framework for how to get out of self-pity and get into self-empowerment so that God can work through you. So it's really fascinating and how, what vocal tones you can use so that God can work through you. And so there's been all of this, all of these, like, how do you clear the way for God to work through you, through your nervous system, through your words, through your voice, through your energy, through your mind. And I think that that's...

that's kind of what I've done and how.

Yeah, you've been doing it. You just didn't know maybe exactly what you were doing it for in some ways. Yeah, I was just like... Or you have more clarity.

how to own the room. Like that's what it was. Like this is my method for how to own the room. And I'm like, it's deeper than this. And I don't know. I still don't know what to do with it. I don't even know if it matters. I guess it's just like what it's been for me. But yeah, when I stick to that and I just like go through the levels of that and I allow myself to clear everything through that. Yeah, like last night I sat down and I wrote a song and I sent it to my partner and I was like, the chords need work and that's his specialty. Like he writes the full compositions.

And so he was like, I can help you with that. He's like, these lyrics are beautiful. And I was like, wow, thanks.

Kristin (31:41.358)
I love the lyrics of this other song too. I'll just send them to you. I feel like you could jazz it up or... No, no, no. The one that we wrote, like a year or two ago. I don't know when it was. Maybe a couple years ago now? I don't know. A year or two? It was such a beautiful song though. Yeah. And it definitely has an uplifting message. Maybe I'll send it to you.

The jelly roll song.

Sammi Sadicario (32:02.338)
I remember what the journal page looks like. I remember that, but I don't remember what

Yeah, I have the song somewhere. Good. I that. I'm like, I do have it on my phone, I think. No, I looked at your Instagram bio and I looked down here because I was like, this is new. I'm like about.

I change my Instagram bio more than I change my underwear.

Sammi Sadicario (32:28.176)
I would like this one to stay though.

No, I like it bridging music neuroscience God in the voice and I kind of want to yeah

It's changed since then, but we can talk about that. We can talk.

Okay, well, no, because I'm curious about what you've done to be, I'm like, is it be a channel or a voice for allow God to come through? Or how, you you spoke a little bit earlier about like voice and resonance or tones. And as that pertains for God messages or, you know, communication in that aspect, I would love to kind of like play with some of the body or neuroscience and voice and God. Yeah, I just want to...

riff on that for a little bit because I think that's pretty cool. I love that.

Sammi Sadicario (33:07.544)
Do you wanna, I can explain it and we can also like experience it. Both. Is that what you want? Sure. So, like we said, like singing is the original medicine, right? Why is that? Like, so singing heals brokenness. There's a science behind that. There's a, so neuroscience is catching up to what's in the Bible because that is, from what I understand, it's all over the Bible, but like use like, thy tongue is thy sword, right? In Chronicles, which is the Old Testament, I believe, right?

So I'm still learning. Don't miss me. I'm still learning. Okay, well, if I miss cool, I'm like reading, I'm in Corinthians right now, like that's what Psalms are all, they're all songs, right? They're the songs that King David sang and that Jesus sang, right? Those are the Psalms that Jesus sang because he was a Jew following the Old Testament. And the, in Chronicles, I don't remember what,

Long time since vacation Bible school.

Sammi Sadicario (34:00.77)
the who, which lineage of the Jews it was that was like being attacked by someone, right? But they were not able to get help from God until they sang. And so I've been thinking about that whole thing for years, like, okay, well, singing can literally like raise the vibration and I'll talk about what that means on a neuroscience level. Can we all, can the whole world sing something together and we literally change what's happening? Could we like, quote, timeline shift? Could we call God, the call of heaven's kingdom down? Could we,

like expel whatever, you know, dark spirits there are. What could we all like just actually just come together? Like what if every single human in the world? And I feel like I brought this up to my partner when we first started dating. He's like, that's impossible. And I was like, shut up. Like, I don't want to hear your impossible. Like what if it could? What if, what if everyone just sang the same Omm at the same time? Anyway, so the neuroscience part of that, so we have the vagus nerve, right? So the vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body.

and it connects to all of our organs. It is also directly connected right behind our voice box. So our voice controls our vagus nerve and our vagus nerve controls our voice. That's why when we're nervous, our voice gets shaky. we sing. higher? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So when we get nervous or when we're angry, our voice gets affected. When we sing, and this is like what happened when I came to Austin and I started hanging out with like the new age in the health communities is they would say,

Yeah

Sammi Sadicario (35:28.558)
Oh, tone your vagus nerve. And I was like, tone, that's a word for sound. Well, okay, toning means strengthening your vagus nerve. So singing literally strengthens your vagus nerve. So when we talk about resilience training, people wanna talk about mental resilience. The biggest form of resilience is sing every day. Like that's it. It's it's written in our nervous system. And then if we recognize, okay, like God made us exactly in his image and exactly as we're supposed to be, well, that's on purpose then.

I want you to sing. And then if we get into quantum physics and quantum theory, right? Energy is neither created nor destroyed. Sorry, this is acoustics, but energy is neither created nor destroyed. Your voice is energy. is energy that is moving through the air, right? It is energy that comes out of your body and out in front of you. Okay, well, it can slap. Where does it come from then? If it's neither created nor destroyed, where does your voice come from? Well, we could talk about like the physical part.

But there is a mysterious part of where our voice comes from. Absolutely a mysterious part. So sure, I would love if a neuroscientist listens to this and wants to send me the science of how the electric pulses go off and then create that other inexplainable part. To me, is that not proof that it comes from God? That it does come from, or a spirit to recognize like where's it coming from, right? Recognize where, what.

what are you tapping into? You're tapping into something, so what is it? We all are, right? We have a collective consciousness, if you will, or, you know, I'm still finding my own interpretation of all of that with like leaving the New Age stuff and then now moving into this next phase of understanding. But there is, there's something to that. I haven't quite figured it out, but I think the Bible does have a lot of the answers in that. Like when we say like, in the beginning, there was the word.

Like, not in the beginning there was light. In beginning there was the word. And so, and then, even when we think of...

Kristin (37:30.606)
Blends both. Yeah. Yeah. Or like, I don't think it has to be like an or, you know, this path or, you know, it's like blending the teachings from both. Yeah. And I'm, I'm curious. I lost my question. It'll come back if it needs to come back. Oh, I was thinking of, I don't know if it was a question or comment. Yeah. You're talking about the voice and like.

For me, trying to get to the same thing.

Kristin (37:56.174)
It can get down to like the neuroscience or the mechanics of how it is created, but they all sound different. To me, our voices kind of like snowflakes where, you know, they're super individual and speak to the nervous system or resonance of a person.

Our voice is a full body experience. And that's what's really cool. So your voice resonates throughout your entire body. And that's why you and I, as tall human beings, have these bigger resonant lower voices. And somebody who's tiny will have a smaller voice, just like the small string on a guitar versus the large string on a guitar. Our bones are all, and our cartilage and everything is all part of the experience.

Look at it like that! Whoa!

whole body.

Kristin (38:47.923)
That's kinda cool! Wow, okay, give me more.

Well, and it just goes to show how powerful our voices are, right? So when we're going through something, we want to sing to a certain part of us. I experience a lot of chronic pain in my body, right? And so I'll hum to those different places and I can reach it. I can reach that vibration into above my knee from just years of practice of the somatic sensations.

So when I start with one, I don't do a lot of one-on-one coaching anymore. I teach workshops, I'm still teaching workshops all over the country, which is great on public speaking. And I'll take that as long as like that keeps finding me because it's still like spreading the message of your voice matters and here's how to use your voice in a way that gives you authority without making you sound angry. everything I've said with the vagus nerve in neuroscience is what I teach my corporate audiences. And I can't talk about God though in corporate audiences.

No, I was called out by a room of female attorneys. were like, you can't use, you can't talk about God. I was like, oh, because.

Is it because they don't like it or they don't subscribe to the certain ideology or is it just we're not going to talk about this to not to be more PC? What is it?

Sammi Sadicario (40:07.872)
I think it's like a corporate thing. Corporate culture? Yeah, it's corporate culture. mean, if I was in a corporate Christian nonprofit, I could talk about God, Which I would love. Yeah. down for that. like in a lot of the, I'll just say a lot of my classes are in DC.

Okay. Well, it kind of matches your, seems like you're on track there for getting to your UN meeting.

There's some things that like line up, but I'm very much in to take the wheel like I will

Like I'm going to assign the meaning or connect those dots.

And I'm also not like sending hundreds of emails a day to try to get these gigs. Like I have a full-time job now in the music industry where I'm like, I'm working. I know. I'm like, I have this, like I have all these people like, sounds like you're doing a lot. And I'm like, yeah, but they all connect. all make sense. They're just, it'll take me longer to get there because I will leave so much energy, but it's, I'm definitely learning so much and in rooms with people.

Kristin (40:48.214)
So cool.

Sammi Sadicario (41:08.398)
And it's also a reason why I feel like letting go of the coaching version of me is so important because I'm not, because I'm being asked to show up in the music industry, not in the corporate industry.

in an impact in a different way. Yeah, yeah. And maybe on a bigger scale, right? Yeah. Versus like one-on-one individual, which I love the intimacy and depth that you can have with, you know, dropping in with one person, but if you're gonna, you know. can't do it. Yeah.

do one-on-one forever. So it was just great to go back to when I start with a client, the first thing we do is start with meditation just to get tuned in and notice the subtle vibrations of your body. We can try it. Okay, sure. Let's take a nice big inhale. Exhale down.

I was close to my eyes.

Sammi Sadicario (42:08.268)
Another one, inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth. Great instincts, inhale. And then on your next exhale, let out a soft sigh. Clearing, clearing out of the way. If you need one more, feel free.

And just come to stillness, breathing in and out of the nose.

and begin to notice.

Notice your feet and your shoes. Notice where your body meets your clothes. Notice the chair on your body.

Sammi Sadicario (42:58.87)
Notice the hair on your head.

Notice your head on your spine.

and begin to notice more deeply.

Sammi Sadicario (43:13.088)
Notice the vibration in your hand.

Sammi Sadicario (43:21.076)
Notice the twitching in your leg.

Sammi Sadicario (43:26.316)
Notice the subtlety of vibration. Can you feel the electricity moving through you?

Sammi Sadicario (43:38.446)
Can you notice the subtle vibration of your body moving?

Sammi Sadicario (43:46.742)
Inhale.

Exhale on a sigh. And notice your voice. One more time just to feel that voice.

Sammi Sadicario (44:05.272)
and notice what you just felt. Whenever you're ready, come back. I won't keep us in there too long.

I like it. I did feel like a tingly sensation on my palm. Yeah, I could feel it whenever tracking my awareness there. Like go up in a way or go like tracking the sound. I like, oh, you know, don't know if I've ever really paid attention to the sound that I make like that on an exhale. I know I'm making sound, right? But to really follow my awareness to that versus like.

my chest or my belly or just like where I am in space or feel on the chair or, you because there's so many points of where I could put my attention. Yeah. And so.

how rarely do people actually focus on what their voice is doing. It's usually like what I'm saying. But it's rarely where am I feeling it in my body until you start singing, right? And then you're like, I don't know what I'm doing. Is that the right note? Don't worry about the note. Notice on where you feel the note. So I'll play the piano and be like, where'd you hear that? When you heard it, where'd you feel it? Great, sing from that place. And nine times out of 10 people get that. Nine times out of 10, that's the answer. And it's so much more powerful.

I need to do that because I've been singing more. It's interesting. Yeah. my body paint session. Just been singing more and I've been loving it. So on the way here I was singing something and I was like, really liked whenever I did something to the song. So now I'll re-sing it. I'm like, where is my voice coming from whenever I sing it like that because it feels good. It sounds good to me, but I don't know how it sounds to others.

Sammi Sadicario (45:49.494)
It depends on why you're doing it. it for you, then it doesn't matter how it sounds. Yeah. The next step...

Yes.

I'm going with the idea that I would love to write more songs. I would love to write more songs, yeah.

I mean, you're beautiful,

are. Well, there's anything. it. Yeah, let's do it. Let's have a time. Come play. You are invited. You're probably one of the only people that are invited to our house. But you're invited.

Kristin (46:15.918)
I'll make the pilgrimage. Make the pilgrimage up north. north. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Don't be too PC now.

Something like that. won't say that on camera.

Sammi Sadicario (46:27.31)
It's like being PC, it's just like knowing, you know, I do work with lot of famous people now too.

I think authenticity though is the deepest resonance. So if it's your truth in the moment or. Live. That's true, but I'm just saying like I get like catering to an audience and I get the, you know, the people are gonna feel the resonance or authenticity in your messaging or song or, you know, versus like thinking I've got to a certain line because I think maybe if they see your humaneness or flaws or mess, they're gonna resonate with you more because they're not looking to some.

No, but I don't need to tell people where I live.

Kristin (47:02.284)
prescribed thing that doesn't exist. They're looking at a human that has mess and flaws and like, that's relatable. That's what I see in certain things. I don't know. I think that that just tracks more. Yeah. It gives it like a more like holistic to me point of view versus like, you know, just one or the other. But I totally get like in that community too, how it is certain standard to not talk about certain things, but.

It's more that like...

Sammi Sadicario (47:27.15)
It's less that, it's more that like when you get to a certain level of fame, people will do anything to take you down. And that is true. And not only that, when you get to that certain level of fame, you don't want everyone to know everything about you because then there's, it's called a parasocial relationship where people think they know you because you're famous. So they see you and you don't see them. So it's this like asynchronous.

I wouldn't consider myself famous, but I felt that in just writing my book. It's like, okay, they know a lot of different things. They feel a certain closeness with me that I don't feel with them because of a creative connection or what was written. They shared or something within the pages, but our relationship hasn't grown or developed to the point.

Yeah, right.

Sammi Sadicario (48:15.886)
Have you had any like weird moments with that?

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Any that you haven't

No, mean, just the other day, I think I briefly mentioned it and it might have been taken or construed. Oh, the video you told me to put text on. It was not a romantic type of relationship or boundaries crossing. was like a friend asking me for advice, but thinking that we were closer, I think because he had read my book or because, you know, because my title and podcast has sex in it. You know, there's certain boundaries. I'm like, we're not at that, you know.

It was just a, yeah, it felt like he felt closer to me than I felt closer to him. And it was like also like a pecking thing. Me getting some type of response out of you is better than nothing at all. And I'm like, that ain't gonna work for me. Nope. Yeah. Not anymore. Boundaries. Yeah, yeah, in that aspect. then, you know, dating too. I think some people that have read my book,

Sammi Sadicario (49:10.926)
I'll be more.

Kristin (49:21.528)
They're like, I feel like I know so much about you and you don't know much about me. So there's like a little bit of a disembalance maybe to start something. But I also, I'm like, yeah, you can, you can't. And I don't have lean one way or the other on that as far as like read it, don't read it. Experience me today for sure, because there's a lot that's not in there. And a lot of growth since, know, it's in the pages. But so I definitely would say like experience me today and like how we wanna build our future together versus like.

think you know me because you read some pages.

Even just from your finishing it to publishing it. And that's after it all already happened. Like so much time passes. You've grown so

An interesting little time capsule. And I love it, but very pivotal in my growth. Your book too. Yeah, just not, but I do get that. So that's interesting.

It's just something I keep in mind because I work right now creating marketing campaigns for A-list celebrities and what their lives look like. And my partner does warn me when you got too visible, people do look at you differently and think that, stop seeing you as human. Yeah, and idolization. so I'm just, I think for my benefit, rather than doubting that my work will go somewhere is I'm really, I'm trusting.

Kristin (50:31.758)
like an idolization.

Sammi Sadicario (50:42.158)
And I'm being more, it's not about like, I'm hiding anything. I'm just being more, more discerning, more precious. Like more precious with what I talk about with my relationship. More, you know, it's a very special relationship that, you know, like you've met him, like he's a special dude. just like even we talked about like what he's comfortable with me talking about today and not. And he's like, he's like, trust you, you've discernment now.

out of your goat but now

Well, I think that's cool that you all have that conversation too. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. And talk about those things. Yeah.

Of course.

We talk about everything. We do talk about everything. He doesn't always understand my vision and he doesn't always, he's like, I'll support you. He's like, whatever you want, I will support you, but I don't really know what you're going for. Once I started talking, once it became about, I really do feel like all this is I'm doing Jesus' work or like I'm doing work for him. He was like, okay, I get it now.

Sammi Sadicario (51:44.662)
Like all of a sudden, because he was like, is this for your ego? Cause he saw all these celebrities, he Hollywood, right? He thought it was for my, I was like, yeah, it's not. And I won't do anything to be famous. Like I've said no to opportunities that I were like, no, I'm not sacrificing myself in that way. It's for the good. It must be for the good of humans. It must be for the good of our souls. Otherwise I won't do it. And I can't do it. Like I will vomit first. Just can't do it.

to be famous.

Kristin (52:12.098)
Yeah. Yeah.

So he gets that now. I'm so values driven. know me. So I think those kinds of conversations have been really powerful between us. They have been bringing us together and giving us, it's become a lot heavier though in a lot of ways. But it's also giving us a clear guidance system.

That's cool. GPS. And I want to say too, like, yeah, I get it. I still lean open, but I, because I had a radically open or healing or growth journey through openness, now I get to go back and like, moving forward, I guess, have one through discernment of what I do and don't want to share. still kind of heavily lean like open, right? But there are some things right now that I'm like, no, we're not going to talk about that.

Yeah

Sammi Sadicario (53:02.36)
Yep, today it's it's two...

Maybe with you and a margarita after this. Yes,

Thank you. It's also, think there's a part of like, I'm, there are stories that I don't mind telling over and over, especially I've been reviewing, I've been reviewing some of the harder ones recently, but there's also this like, you know, part, I wrote a book, right? You've helped me with that book. It's written. It's not, it doesn't have a good storyline, but I could take some things out and then it's just like essays and poems. I don't want it to be what I'm known for.

I don't want it to be when people meet me what they associate me with. you know, it's about like the darkest time of my life. It's about healing an addiction to a human being. It's about like the deepest and darkest parts of anxious attachment and relational wounding and deep self harm through that. And I just don't wanna be known for it. And that's that. And it sucks, cause like there's some good stuff in there.

Do you see it being part of like a testimony type of message though?

Sammi Sadicario (54:10.106)
That, you know, that could be. I could, but part of it is also if I do decide to release it, then it's talking about it all the time. And I'm like, ugh. Keep rehashing it. And I read it. And I've tried to edit it. I've been through 10 edits. I have 10 versions. And when I got through 10, I was like, I can't keep rereading this. I was like, this hurts too much. Like, there's still songs I can't listen to.

Do you wanna keep rehashing it?

Kristin (54:35.918)
Then maybe you wrote it for yourself.

I think I wrote it for my guy. Because when we met, he's like, there's something you're not telling me. I was like, what? He's like, you know what? I think it's in that book you wrote. And I was like, take it. I wrote it for you. Because I wrote it. Did he read it? He's read parts of it. He's read parts of it. It's a lot to read. It's pretty dark to read that kind thing. And in fairness, he read a book that I've only read six chapters. I think it's published. He's known for it. He's given speeches on it. And I've read six chapters.

Well, he could probably give you advice in that way too, right? If you're write it and speak on it, you're probably gonna speak a little more than me.

Well, his voice is like, don't tell anyone any, there's a, I wear, he's very much opposite direction, right? So then I've like come in the middle there, which is good. But I don't, I don't mind sharing my past and I'll talk about that. I think right now, like this week, I'm a little sensitive around it, around all that that happened, but yeah, it will be a testimony. There's no doubt because it was like, I could even like, I could see it.

Yeah, you don't have to give all the details, it's like just a clear transformation journey, right? From something to something else. From that to what more, what would you call yourself now? As far as like where you are today with your relationship with Jesus, like, know, from...

Sammi Sadicario (55:44.354)
Yeah.

Sammi Sadicario (55:51.054)
What do mean?

Sammi Sadicario (55:55.886)
I don't know what to call it. recently connected with someone called a messianic Jew, who's like Jewish, but she believes that Jesus is the Messiah. like, that is, I like, right now I'm phrasing this, I'm leaning into Christianity. And I'm I'm chatting with Jesus every day. Like I'm turned on by Jesus. That's how I should say it. What are you turned on by? I'm turned on by Jesus.

There we are. That's the answer. If anyone asks me, what are you today? I'm turned on by Jesus.

56 minutes to get to that answer. I'm kidding. What do you want to drop in the last like final wrap up notes or is there anything? And I can look at my questions too.

For fun, yeah, you want to bring something. We'll talk a little about sex, just for a hot sec. So, you know, I talk about how important the voice is and how important singing is when you tone with a partner.

Like

Sammi Sadicario (56:48.718)
Like being able to calm yourselves down together and allow that to drive you at each other. It's quite yummy. I'll leave you with that.

More though. Okay.

That might be with margarita. But it has been a really important thing for us in times of like stress, of like calming down together and humming together. And as you begin to somatically feel your voice in different parts of your body, you'll begin to notice how your voice, especially women, because we're so trained to like make noises that go really high, right? But that's actually the opposite. Like your voice, want it to be lower. We want it to be really low. like the more, and there are,

You know, probably, you know, you know these people, there are people who are in the sex education community who talk about like having more primal sounds and like sound ugly, sound like an animal, right? We are animals. Yeah. That's what they call it. Like what do they call it? The beast with two backs. I love that phrase. It took me so long to understand that. was like, yeah, because it's like two backs.

Kristin (57:54.306)
It's so good. I still need a visual. Yeah. Okay.

Well, once again, Margarita.

So, like you can and should, and I invite you to like use your voice to sing in those situations and come closer to yourself and with each other and allow it to be a moment of worship, worshiping of yourself and each other and your relationship to whoever you pray to or whatever you pray to. Yeah, the divine.

Beautiful. Love it. Leave that there. Yeah. Great note to end on.

Mmm. Real low, like go really low somatically. She's gonna do it right now.

Kristin (58:32.62)
The tangle. You will. Lovely. Thank you, honey. Drop all your stuff in the show notes.

You might. Thanks so much for having me. Perfect. Thanks for visiting, friends.

Thank you.