84. 4 Types of Sex, Inner Union, & Power of Transformational Pleasure | Tantra Talk with Juan Es Alzate Artwork

Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Welcome to Sex, Drugs, & Soul, where the sacred gets spicy, the growth gets real, and the self-discovery comes with a side of mischief. I’m Kristin Birdwell, author, host, & playful professional line-blurrer between the profane and the profound.

On this podcast, we break the rules, shed the shame, and get intimate through vulnerable conversations, sensual explorations, aaaand the occasional existential crisis.

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Sex, Drugs, & Soul

84. 4 Types of Sex, Inner Union, & Power of Transformational Pleasure | Tantra Talk with Juan Es Alzate

July 28, 2025 • Kristin Birdwell • Season 3 • Episode 21

In this powerful episode of Sex, Drugs, & Soul, we go all in on transformational sex, shamanic intimacy, and sacred union with luminous healer and modern shaman Juan Es Alzate.

We explore:
💋 The 4 types of sex: procreative, recreational, restorative, & transformational
🌀 What makes sex “shamanic” and how intention, breath, and energy change everything
💓 Inner union & the dance of the masculine and feminine within
🌬️ Solo pleasure practices & the magic of self-sourced love
🌎 The Aquarian Age, global chaos, and the power of choosing love over fear
💫 How to reconnect to your wholeness and remember that you are the miracle

This one is part medicine, part masterclass, and a reminder of your divine erotic truth.

👉 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, & share with a fellow sacred rebel.

#sacredsex #shamanicsexuality #tantra #soulsex #transformationalsex #spiritualgrowth #innerunion #pleasurealchemy #aquarianage #healingthroughtantra

00:00 Setting Intentions and Invocations
07:46 Exploring the Four Types of Sex
12:16 Transformational Sex and Healing
16:28 Solo Practices and Energy Circulation
23:02 The Inner Union of Masculine and Feminine
27:15 Self-Pleasure and Inner Harmony
29:04 Exploring Self-Discovery Through Touch
31:26 Navigating Chaos and Transformation
35:18 The Detox of Society and Individuality
38:50 Moving from Love: A Call to Action
42:53 Reconnecting with Our Inner Angels
48:20 Practices for Emotional Release and Growth
53:33 Embracing the Present Moment of Healing

Connect with Juan:
Website - https://www.luminoushealer.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/juan.es.alzate/

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Kristin (00:00.234)
Welcome back to Sex, Drugs, and Soul. Today, I have on Juan S. Azalte. Azalte. He may have to correct my pronunciation. He's been on the pod before. He's episode number 16. And in that episode, we dive into a little bit more of his personal story and kind of what led him into the tantric space as a modern shaman and luminous healer. Today, I think we're going to have him open up with a prayer.

kind of set our intention. I would love to explore like the four different types of sex and some other topics, but we'll just see where it takes us.

Great. Yeah. Thank you for having me.

Of course, buddy.

Yeah, my name is Juanes Alsate. Alsate. Alsate. That's in Spanish. In English, maybe Alsate. yeah, we can start with invocation, calling in the directions, just inviting you to bring your hand to your heart.

Kristin (01:03.661)
Deep breath in.

You can close your eyes.

We'll connect to the four directions, directions of the south.

The West, the North and the East calling in. The serpent, support us to release our past, to shed our old skins and step into this ever present moment. Teach us to be with our bodies, to move with beauty on this earth, belly to belly with the great mother. To the winds of the West, great Jaguar, mountain lion, we ask you to come.

Juan Es Alzate (01:49.912)
Come to this episode, hold us in sacred and safe space, allow us to walk with courage and power on this earth, knowing that there's nothing to fear in this life or the next. There are no enemies outside of ourself. Teach us to reclaim that safety and security within, knowing that that is the only place we will find it in this world.

Teach us to embrace the changes that are here right now. May we find that center, may we claim the eye of the storm and allow life to move around us. To the winds of the North, great hummingbird, ancient ones, our children's children, be with us. Allow us to feel how you support us, the ancestors, you who came before us, you who sacrificed your lives for us.

May we remember that we are the answer to your prayers. May we stand in that glory, honoring the sacrifices made so that we could be here. To our children's children, the children of the future, may you inspire us. May you bring us the dreams of a new world where we have fully given this gift that is this life. May we remember that this life is a gift to be given. May we give it fully.

so that you may have a beautiful world when you arrive. Sirakim T. Royal Hummingbird, we ask you to support us with trust and faith. May we have trust and faith in our lives, in the universe, knowing that it is working with us and for us. May we love the journey of the soul. May we fall in love with it, knowing that there is no destination. It is just here right now.

as we focus on the flowers all around us. May we be guided by their sweet scent and know that all we need to do is take that first step. Take in that sweet nectar of the flower before us that gives us everything we need to continue on our great soul's journey. Be with us.

Juan Es Alzate (04:05.536)
The winds of the East, great eagle condor, we ask you to wrap your luminous wings around us to take us up above the small picture of our personal life to see the grand picture of all life. To see from above that all is well, all is right. Everything is working according to plan.

allow us to unite our polarities, the masculine and feminine, the light and the dark, the mind and the body. Teach us your ways to remember that we need both wings to fly. May we spread our wings wide, open our hearts and fly wingtip to wingtip with great spirit. May we remember that we are the visionaries. May you.

to see our highest destiny. May we live that destiny. May we vibrate at that frequency. May we be the answering of the prophecies, the prophecies that bring humanity together, the North and the South, the East and the West. All peoples as one, be with us.

To Pacha Mama, Mother Earth.

Juan Es Alzate (05:28.322)
Gaia, Mother Mary, we call you to this place. We ask you to wrap us in your womb of love, of unconditional love. May we feel that love. May we know without a doubt that we are loved from the facts that we have this body, from every single resource you have given so that we can be here, from the minerals in our bones, the water in our blood, and the air in our lungs.

You provide it all. May we remember that we were never kicked out of the garden, that we have always been welcomed. We have always been welcome. We are welcome to be here. May we honor your love and give it back. May we protect you as you protect us. May we remember that sacred bond between mother and child as one family upon you.

We gather here for the healing of all life on this planet through the healing, the wholeness and the harmony of each and every soul touched by this episode. Be with us, great mother, father, son, sister, moon, star brothers, star nations, archangels, ascended masters, fifth dimensional beings of light, all of our relations, all of our guides we call you to be here, to bring your divinity to this space.

Divine, masculine, great father, we ask you to vibrate your highest frequency, which is love, which is life, which is light. May that frequency release, remove all dis-ease, all disharmony, all discord from our beings. And we come back to that pure, divine, perfect blueprint made in your image. May we honor the knowing that we are.

gods and goddesses walking upon this earth. May we embrace your gifts and respectfully, consciously and lovingly create the life that we desire, a life in alignment with your will. May we bring the light into the darkness. May we bring the order into the chaos. May we remember that we are here as your angels to anchor heaven on earth.

Juan Es Alzate (07:55.32)
Be with us through this episode and beyond as we call upon all the angels on this planet to remember the sacred vow of love that brought us here and where we are going. Be with us. Ah-ho.

I feel so much more grounded. Yeah. It's amazing what like breathing does and just like taking a moment of just stillness and thank you for that. Yeah. Cause sometimes I'm like driving here and I'm like, all right, angels guide. Thank you for supporting. but I love like having that like intentional drop in before we kick off and thank you for accepting my invitation to come back on and get together in person.

I really appreciate you. I've been wanting to connect and just happen to do it on a podcast and share your wisdom. Yeah, so what's been percolating for me is like shamanistic sex, but I know there's different types of sex, but I'll know that a lot of times, and I probably used to too, only thought of like procreative or recreational or like for fun, you know, even if you don't want to necessarily like make some babies.

Can we talk about the four different types of sex?

Yeah, well you already touched on two, Procreation and regenerate is really about what we are told in school to make babies. The biological process of sex that every human is wired. Recreational, which you also touched on, for fun, which we find in high school.

Juan Es Alzate (09:47.882)
And probably for the rest of our lives, it's kind of where most people work with sex. The next level of sex is for restoration. So it's like a healing kind of sex, you know? Probably you've heard of, maybe you've been to work or you got with your girlfriends and like, wow, did you just have sex? Did you get laid?

You

because you look like you went on a vacation. There's like a sense of like, you're just vibrant and radiant and restored, right? And then the fourth level of sex is transformational. And so this is the, you know, meeting God sex, the dissolving of self and uniting with all of life. You know, and so this can get more towards the shamanistic level of

I'm curious, so where does the sex, like I've had an experience or a couple of them actually, where it's like, I guess it felt healing and very connected, but like, yeah, a crying release or something. So I'm like, does it start as one type and then kind of meld or do they, you know, kind of merge into like a little thing or?

Yeah, I I'm one of those people who doesn't like to say, it's just like this. know, life, in my opinion, life is the gray zone. Our minds are the ones that make it into a map and put it into a dot and put it in between a box. But yeah, I mean, they all can coexist. mean, the act of sex was made for reproduction, you know. But in order for us to reproduce, it was also made for us to

Juan Es Alzate (11:34.806)
feel recreational, which is like juicy and like, want it and I need it, know, like part that's like hungry for it. And then we're also souls, right, and spirits. So that's the part that goes more into like the restoration, like where the body can rest, where we can let go of the stress, where we can let go of what we've been holding onto and allow more life to come in. And then the transformational, so yeah, you can have them all happening at the same time.

The transformational can look like releasing trauma in the middle of it or being an ecstatic bliss and joy where you're crying, but it's in happiness or sadness or past life. I've had what we would call transformational sex, which tends to kind of be what people think Tantra is and can be where I'm just holding my beloved and they're crying out of nowhere.

And just the right words are coming out of my mouth to support the process. And it just feels like there's a union where there is no longer me and other, but we become one.

Okay, so that I guess kind of makes it, it doesn't necessarily have to be like a penetrative type of sex for it to be like transformational or right. Well, yeah, because I'm envisioning you like holding someone and speaking and becoming one. And then like a little memory surge of like, you know, being held as well. And then I've also had like, you know, different bodywork sessions too, both with and without like any, you know, penetration or yoni.

That's a good distinction.

Kristin (13:15.916)
Stimulation? Work? Internal work, yeah. I'm like, don't know the exact language or two years. And those have just been so mind blowing and so both like a reclamation and increasing the capacity to feel both like emotionally and sensationally that I'm like, more people need to know about this.

internal

Kristin (13:44.642)
So I would love to just like, if there's anything other like any more tidbits or insights or practices to expand on that transformational sex.

Yeah, I mean, one thing that could distinguish transformational sex is in some ways we started with the directions, right? So some way of intentionally setting space, like we're gonna go there, right? It could happen outside of that, you know, spontaneously because of the connection. But often when we're doing it as a practice, it would have that element of, okay, we're gonna get together.

and we're gonna have this intention. My intention is to heal my blocks and feel more connected, whatever that intention may be. Setting up a sacred space, you know, doesn't have to look like what I said, but some version of calling in a higher power to hold us and work through us. And then we like to say there's the three keys of tantra and energy work is breath, sound and movement. So if we're using our breath, if...

Like you said, when we were doing the directions, you're like, you know, there's something about that breath that made me feel more grounded. The breath is key. I mean, I would even say the breath is one of our most constant sexual acts. Right? And by that, mean, there's an element to breath that when we breathe in, we're being penetrated by life. You know, the oxygen is coming into our bodies and taking up space and giving us life.

And then when we exhale, we penetrate life. And so this is also when we speak or sing, you know, this is breath coming out to penetrate life, to touch and affect life. And so that, that in and of its own is a sexual act, right? From a higher sense, which is this give and receive, right? The giving, the penetration and the being penetrated. And so by doing that, you know, we're activating our energy.

Juan Es Alzate (15:48.558)
When we bring sound, we bring vibration, aliveness. And with the movement, we're allowing the body to be activated. so sex often is very interrelated with movement. You can't just sit still. I you can. There are practices where the masculine stays still and the feminine goes into the wild, but there's still a movement happening. And so...

when all three happen, then we're able to really move what we call the life force energy or the sexual energy. And so if we're doing it in partnership with another, then it's really moving the energy between the two.

Guys, we just had a little weather interruption. I guess it's raining and thunderstorming outside, which I love. I love feeling the rain on my skin. But so we're kind of sliding back in and picking up where we left off. And I think we were talking about solo practices and as a chance, like transformative, like sex practices. So I didn't know if there's anything you want to throw in there.

I mean, let's slap right in.

Juan Es Alzate (17:04.877)
Yeah, I touched on it a little bit and it's this vertical axis. so if we're practicing with ourselves, especially the Taoist traditions have really awesome practices that I practice, like the microcosmic orbit. basically it's like we're breathing the energy of heaven down, allowing heaven or the light to come and penetrate, our bodies.

circulating it through our body and then sending it out on the exhale to the earth. And so it's kind of like creating a bigger circuit with nature. Some people like to do it with nature.

Yeah, no, I'm like, I just did that with a mountain.

You know, and so it's, it's, it's really guided by the breath, by the intention and the energy. So where we put our attention is where our energy flows. so the, if we're focusing on a mountain, for example, which I've done as well, or a tree or the land, you bring your intention there and you, and you draw your energy towards it. you open yourself to it. I, one of my most powerful experiences was doing that in the polarity of the masculine.

as the one that's penetrating. I was also the mountain worth. don't know what you would call it. It's like a, like a big rock formation. And I remember this sense of the energy just kept going. It's like more I gave the more she would receive and it just kept receiving more and more of me and then more and more of me wanted to be given. And it had like this huge energetic cock.

Juan Es Alzate (18:49.9)
went all the way to the core of the earth. And it was quite out of this world, you know? So that's one way, since this microcosmic orbit, using the breath, using your intention and moving it. And it can even be a small orbit within your own self where you're just breathing out through the root and then bringing it up to your crumb and feeling that cycle going on.

So you have done that and I've done it like, I guess, upset more. I like the distinction of like the masculine intention. I've done it in a more receptive way too. Like where am I? We're visualizing like the mountain or energy, like being more penetrative and like coming in up and then like just kind of circulating it back in solo too. And I'm like, does it matter, I guess, which direction you're circulating in? Or is there a feminine and masculine distinction between those? There are.

There are and there isn't, you know? Like, I teach this a lot and some of the retreats I do, the energetic sex.

I love that. Let's talk about it.

And so I'd say in the beginning, it's good to pick a poll because it allows you to focus the energy. especially if you've never done it you don't do it that much, it's important to get a hang of it. I like to like, like, this is how it works. This is how it feels in my body. Cause everyone feels it, you know, slightly different. Cause we all experience life differently. We experience through our own lens and not through our own senses. And so I would say.

Juan Es Alzate (20:22.932)
If we are playing the poles, the masculine penetrates through their lingam, through their sex. So penetration, like we were talking about with the breath is on the exhale. So as I exhale in the masculine, I'm feeling the energy move out through my lingam, through my sex center. And when I'm inhaling, I am being penetrated in my heart. So the masculine pole receives the energy, it's penetrated into their heart.

And so in the feminine, it's the opposite. So the feminine is penetrated, breathes in through their sex and the feminine penetrates with their heart and then they breathe out through their heart. And so that's how you would keep the poles and have like a polarity dance at the sex. After you do that for a while and even, you know, new people that I, you know,

taken through that process at a certain point, once you like get into it, you forget who you are. You forget how you're breathing. You're, you're so in the moment. so that's why I say it's like, yes, and, you know, because it's more about getting into the flow of the energy. And then from there, the energy does what it does. You know, it might feel like you're doing both.

I think that's one of the most powerful practices that I've experienced. I really had like a experience of sensing another person's energy without even physically touching. And I just thought that it was a really beautiful shared experience. yeah, it's like, there's just like, you found a rhythm. I think we experimented calling through different chakras or energy centers too, but I love what you mentioned too, how the...

penetrative energy for the mass and then receptive in the heart. I remember, I can't remember if was Leel or someone else talking about, or relating those, like the men tend to guard their hearts more and the women tend to guard their yomi more because that's where their receptive pole is. And so just like that.

Juan Es Alzate (22:33.91)
Even physiologically, the body is mimicking and in alignment with that. So when you look at the physical body, the physical body on the masculine, part that is coming out the most is their lingam. And in the feminine, their breasts are coming out. And so that's where the energy is going. Life force energy is moving out through. And so yeah, it totally makes sense.

Yeah, it's like where we feel more vulnerable in a way, whether it's emotionally, physically, energetically, if someone was going be more protective of those things. That's why it's also such a beautiful practice is because there's like an intention to move energy and be open and share it in that capacity.

It's all of their bodies. Because, you know, a male body can also be in the feminine pole and receive through their sex. But yeah, there is that, you know, it's a biological thing as well, but emotional.

Yeah.

Kristin (23:38.924)
Yeah, know I love to, yeah, those, or like touching on like the masculine and feminine energy. Cause I believe like we all have both and like can tap in or tune into one of the other, right. Or like create this inner union of the two. at least I know that's one of the things I took away from that is, was that my masculine energy for a long time was serving as a protector for my feminine. like maybe in the go over doing or in the hyper independent or like the.

that kind of thing. Until I guess I felt more safe to soften or be.

Yeah, I mean, that's a whole subject.

We could go. There's no moose here at Sex, Drugs, and the Slow and if there are, then bend them. That's right.

yeah, I mean, a lot of people get into this polarity thing and I think there's, there's gifts to, to it. There's it. And sometimes it gets too rigid. It's like a man should be like this, know, woman should be like this. And there's truth to it in its core. But I think what I find more interesting is.

Juan Es Alzate (24:53.26)
when we own that inside of ourselves, which I think you were pointing towards, which is that yes, you do need a mask in that holds the structure that creates safety that observes without judgment as much as you need a receptive feminine that is in their softness and in their love and care. But it, I really believe it's an inside job first, you know, if it's not right here, like that sacred union.

What I see is that you end up polarizing and projecting it out there. So if I don't have my feminine in the right way here, what often happens is I polarize it and I magnetize and I create and project and attract the one that I, the version I have in here. And if she's not healed in here, that's going to show me. You know, is what I've seen. And so it's, it's, I believe it starts in here.

Okay, yeah

Juan Es Alzate (25:48.654)
And the more we do the work to get into sacred union and to be our perfect lover, our perfect match, our perfect friend, the best as possible, then it will match out there. Right? Cause we could only attract what we are, you know, and I could be the strongest masculine that if my feminine isn't being cared for internally. mean, I've just seen it time and time again, both from personal experience and working with people that it's.

is really always in here. So I always point people to come inside, know, because.

Juan Es Alzate (26:29.442)
Like you said, we make the rules. When people start making rules about how people should be and put people into boxes, I think it creates more unnecessary stress, more division of the sexes. you know, I don't believe that serves anymore. You know, we're in the Aquarian age. And for me, that means from being separate, individuated identities,

to we're all in the same pool together. We're all in the same aquarium. You know, we are coming to a place where we're all one and the more we can collapse the polarity and go to the place where we are in this shared experience as humans rather than different. I feel we're going to get, we're going to get to the point faster. Cause what's draw.

I mean, this is my higher version vision of drama is like drama is just there to teach us how to get back to peace.

Yeah, like the contrast illuminates type of things.

Yeah, but we've been hijacked and, you know, all of our senses are attuned to like, the excitement of drama that comes from an unfulfilled place, you know, which is why we go to drugs and sex, you know, because there's something missing. We haven't found that union inside. And so I'd say at the highest level when we're doing self-practice, it's to come to that place inside.

Juan Es Alzate (28:04.096)
So whether we're doing it energetically, another way that you can do that is self-pleasure. You know, the physical act of making love to ourselves, which doesn't have to be masturbation per se, but it's more like an attunement with the whole body as an erogenous zone where we're using that same breath, moving the energy in our body, but now moving it through our whole body and really needing ourselves in a way that we want to be met.

To me, that's where the magic happens with this kind of work, where it's not really about the other person. The other person is just there. Everyone's just meeting us where we're at. So the more we can be in like a lovey, connected, respectful place with ourselves, that inner harmony with our physical body, with our emotions, our mind, the more that is simple.

Yeah, you've spurred so many things as you're talking, like everything from like the outer being a reflection of our inner to how we'll seek things outside of ourselves if we don't feel that peace. Well, there's a part of me that's like, what if that inner harmony is created and you're still curious or you still want to like explore and have fun being a human?

You know, whether it's through like different sexual substances or psychedelics or breath work or like, you know, different states of consciousness to explore. But I, and I also love that you mentioned like self-pleasure. And for me, I've had some powerful like different rituals that I explored with a pleasure mapping one day. And I think it's meeting myself with a certain level or degree of reverence and sacredness too. And being curious about like, okay, what

what types of touch do I like or what temperatures do I like, different objects, as far as like a feather or like an ice cube or some kind of like metal chain thing. And then just being like real curious and like how would I want a lover that touched me? Well, I'm gonna meet myself with that same level of like care, tender love and care. So I love that kind of that as a practice too and incorporating like third tools that you mentioned too, like breathing, sounding.

Kristin (30:22.286)
moving. Yeah, I just found it was really not only pleasurable, but also getting to know my body, getting to know my body in a way that felt very deep and intimate too. I mean, it's like, how do I expect someone else to do certain things if I had not as aware of different zones or aspects or things that I like are pleasurable.

Yeah. And then, yeah, it's interesting. There's been times where I meet people. like, what is it showing me about myself, too, and like being curious? I think a lot of times we want to define or assign things so that we feel more safe, whether it's unconscious or unconscious, or try to put people in boxes. Although I don't know if anyone really can live in just one box or identity. I feel like there's a mesh.

colors bleed outside the lines and that sort of thing. I think too, like I love what you said about like, yeah, looking for our commonality, like we have to recognize and like, we're all humans here, like doing this human thing on earth. So how can we collectively treat one another better and treat our planet better so we can create a more harmonious environment? And I know before we were able to like hop on recording, we were talking about like transformation and how.

And you can speak to this too, how you feel about like we're kind of in the fourth quarter. Like, you know, we came here, I think to not only witness, but to contribute into the evolution to the Aquarian Age, the greatest show on earth. Like, are we going to do it? I believe that, but I, and then there's also a piece of me, like there's so much chaos going on and there's a little quote, think by Deepak Chopra that

provides me a sense of comfort in these chaotic days is that all great change is preceded by chaos. And then I feel like the more that we can create our inner harmony environment, that's going to be reflected too.

Juan Es Alzate (32:34.242)
Yeah. Amen.

Juan Es Alzate (32:39.916)
mean...

Whether we choose it or not, right? Like let's say you choose to detox because you want to get healthier because something's off. Often it gets worse. It gets worse. feel not so good. And then once that moves, then, then you slowly start to build up. If you don't do it consciously, then you get sick. You get a high fever and then you throw up and then.

It goes higher for a while until that moves and then you start to get better. Hopefully it's not something serious. But yeah, there's definitely that pattern and we're definitely in those times right now. I do feel like if we go to soul, which is part of this work, our souls know everything. I believe they're eternal.

And so the time of things isn't as finite as how we see it here where we have such a limited time. And so.

Juan Es Alzate (33:56.726)
I still believe that it still knows what needs to happen. So we're in a time, I believe that everything we've done wrong, every way we haven't stood up for the planet, for the children, for the women, for the animals, for nature, for life is catching up to us. And, you know, there's maybe these forces who benefited or profited or maintained their power.

doing those things and they're doubling down. You know, they're like, we don't want to go. This has been working for us. but it's not working for most of us. And, you know, most people are suffering whether they know it because they're in the middle of a genocide or, you know, because they're depressed. mean, here in America, there's so much going on and not much political want to get about it.

You know, I mean, there's what I keep seeing. We are going into the Aquarian Asia, but before we go into it, we're like facing every way that we're separate and things are getting even more polarized, more separate, black and white, Mexican, American, know, Palestinian, Israeli, right? Like there's this de-polarization like of someone's wrong, someone's not, doesn't belong here.

be afraid of that person. And it's funny because it's not funny, it's fucked up actually, but it's ironic because we are moving into the healed state of this next age is the age of Aquarius where we're all one, you know, where we're working for the collective rather than for the individual. And right now individuality is at its highest, you know, it's this kind of narcissistic.

I know the way we're going to take power the way we want to take it. We don't care what you have to say. You know, like this kind of really staunch, grabbing onto power and, and try to shut down any movement of the collective humanity standing up for truth, which for me is love and unity and peace and like fairness and justice. And so we're like in a deep, you know,

Kristin (36:24.066)
Detox?

We're the detox and you know, I'm here for the people, which I believe you are. I'm here for love, which I believe is the only reason we got here. To me, at the core of this work, we talk about sex and to me, sex...

The act of sex is this act of coming into union. But to me, what union is, is love. At its core, it's like, my body's having sex all the time. By that, mean every cell in my body is really getting down with each other and in that deep state of union. Everything here is in this kind of state of sex or union. All of my cells, all of my organs, this unit that is the body.

internally is doing a dance, a love dance. And so our parents, whether they were in love or not, the act is a loving act, is an act of union. We were born from love. We stayed alive because of love. So baby cannot exist if it's not in a loving connection with the mother the first several months.

And when we die, we go back to love, so to speak. But like, it's the thing that drives us, you know, we go for sex as a human. Often it's for love, for connection, for wanting to be with another and be seen and be held. And so it's like, it's the driving force of everything we do. And so for me, it feels like...

Kristin (38:15.15)
I believe that and I kind of lean on, I don't know if this is from some of the A Course in Miracles or I read it in Marianne Wilmson's Return to Love. If you look at everything as either love or fear, then all fear is is a call for more love. And so there's like a massive call for love right now, like whatever ideology you subscribe to, you know, and I feel like...

people are easier to control in a fear-based state, or being able to manipulate and told to buy this or support this, especially if there's a clinging onto something known. And that to me, there's like a big surge and maybe trying to protect like certain ego deaths or the way things were or the way, because sometimes...

you know, it's kind of like the abusive relationship thing or chaotic environment. It's our home. Even if it's like a chaotic one, right? It feels familiar. It feels probably comfortable or even more safe, quote unquote, than something that is more peaceful because we haven't experienced that and that's more unknown. So I do like looking at things through the lens of, okay, there's a huge and a call for love right now. But that doesn't mean that I decide.

sit in my room and meditate and tune out, right? It's like, how do I contribute and move from a place of love? And I love the quote, like, or I love the intention and quote or motto, whatever you want to call it, of moving from love and not for it or nothing like that kind of, even though we need it, but not in like that kind of grabby, exhausted kind of way, do know what I mean?

addicted back to codependent work.

Kristin (40:06.442)
Yeah, Yeah, but like moving from love or acting with love and it's not always, you know, the easiest thing, right? Even sometimes like I catch myself in traffic. I'm like, go! With love and a swift kick. No. And that's like a super minute example. But yeah, like how can we be more loving to one another or and loving to ourselves?

the love that we so seek and desire and crave. Like how can we communicate that to ourselves more? Whether that's, I don't know, like I just noticed the other day, I just came off of this retreat and I was like looking in the mirror and like I've had different, embodied us more via things in the past. And this time I was just communicating to myself and like with my body in a more compassionate and loving way and like a, yeah, girl.

and so I've noticed a little bit of shift within that to myself, but communicating it to me through touch words, you know, visioning. I'm also like holding a high vision at the same time for myself, for the collective of more harmony. because there is an element too. like, if we're only repeating the same words, I believe, or the same words, actions, beliefs, then do we create the same thing that we've

been creating for however long, if we don't shift our vision or hold that a little bit more or more intently or strongly. It gets powerful to hold the vision too, to create the world that we desire.

I agree. mean, I've been working with archetypes as a thing to hold a vision. And so the archetype I've been working, I'd say for the last couple of years, and really over the last year got more defined. But the definition of it at this moment is I am the dragon king of love and angels. so at first it was just the dragon king, but it didn't, something was missing.

Juan Es Alzate (42:14.422)
And what it was is what does it stand for at its core, the dragon king of love and angels. Like I stand for love and angels. And that comes from this core understanding that I've gotten in life, which is that I deeply know in my heart that every human is born as an angel. You know, and I've known it, let's say philosophically for a while. And then,

A year and a half ago, I was blessed with bringing a baby into the world, know, supporting my partner to have a child, like actually birthing the baby. I became a mid husband. And we raised the child for some time together, 15 months. But especially in the beginning, everything I knew was confirmed. Cause I held this like precious, beautiful creature.

and I could feel its goodness, know? And it's so good. It's such an angel that it brings the angel in me. And I see it whenever you, you know, anybody meets a baby, whether it's a puppy or an actual human baby, like there's this like extra sweetness, this extra like care that no one taught you to be that way. It just comes out. And so to me, it proves that it's already in there.

You can't make someone be something they're not, you know? And so if a child is so pure and innocent when they're born, where does it go? You know, for me, it's, it's this fear that you were talking about from the A Horse in Miracles. And so for me, the dragon, king of love and angels is that I feel that my purpose on this planet is to activate that angel in these hearts or reactivate it.

or bring that fire of love to burn away the fear that is maybe, you know, covering or somehow influencing that angel to not be fully there. Because I know that when that angel is activated in a person's heart, that original love that they came from, they know exactly what to do. They know how to act. They know how to act in someone's house. They know what to do with something because they just, it just comes through. It's like,

Juan Es Alzate (44:38.882)
When you love someone because that energy of love is active, no one has to tell you how to respect them. No one has to tell you what's a loving act. It just comes through. know, you don't need a book. It's already in you. And so for me, you know, the more we can get to that original love and do the healing work, go to the vitrines, work with the coaches or the shamans or the healers.

to like come back to that, to know that that's where we're going, the better we're at. But like everything you said were, I mean, I think it comes back to that. It's always in me. some people, I like this, I don't know who said it, but they said, the kid was like, I'm angry. And then it's kind of saying, you, or you're making me angry. Right? And it's like,

I can't make you angry. You have anger and it's coming out because I'm here. If it wasn't there, I couldn't make you angry. And so more of this self ownership that like, whatever's in here, no one can put it in there or take it out. So to speak. That it's an inside job, right? Like it's this inner gardens, inner realm.

And so when we do the practices, when we come into that place and we say the loving words and we plant the loving seeds of this higher standard or higher vision or elevated self of who we see ourselves with, who we want to be or what we care about. And we feed that then, then that's what will grow. If I feed like self doubt, anger and fear and separation in my inner garden.

That's why I wanna see it. That's what's gotta come.

Kristin (46:31.31)
What then practices do you recommend for like getting those seeds planted for someone that doesn't have any like practices or going on or maybe are pointing that finger, even though those three are always like, you made me so mad. And I even think that anger, like I've felt anger, yes, I've had rage scream and know, kickbox and punched and all those things. But at the same time, I feel like that anger is kind of like a

top level emotion maybe in some ways I think it's underneath it is like a fear of something. But yeah, I curious if you have any like suggestions or tools or practices that you'd like to offer for that to get started. Like if you were gonna start with just one or two.

I mean, what you said, you started it off well. What I heard is, to make it short, is emotional release tools is one first step. Like if I feel like I have a lot of shit in me, I'm angry, I'm depressed, I have a lot of heavy emotions, a personal practice would could be emotional release tools, like kicking the pillow. Doing it in a way that you hurt yourself. You can look alive for emotional release tools.

I did.

Kristin (47:42.968)
Yeah.

Juan Es Alzate (47:49.762)
see how to do them correctly. Basically it's using the energy of the body, breath sound and movement to move that junk, move the shit out. Right. Once we move the shit out, then like you were saying, that could be maybe a superficial thing and maybe underneath that there's the fear or the pain or the grief or the sadness. And then having a process of, you know, feeling it, like giving it voice. Like, so, you know, what

How do you feel asking yourself? do I, how am I actually now that I've moved this energy, like what's underneath, how do I feel? then like, let that feeling come through. I feel mad, I feel sad, I feel angry. And then maybe asking yourself a question.

What do I need? What did I need? And then, I didn't hear it. I needed it to be loved. I needed it to be listened to. needed it to be respected. And so, you know, giving voice to the thing underneath is a good practice. And then when we clear that, it's what do you want? Right? What do you want to feel? I want to feel loved. So what can I do to feel loved?

You know, stop fucking going to sleep so late.

Give me more water. So actually listen to what it has and how can you give that to yourself? And then internally creating mantras or creating affirmation statements. If everything was good, if I could be my best self and it already happened, what is the present? What's the, what, what is that? And say it in the present tense.

Juan Es Alzate (49:43.576)
So I am powerful, I am free, I am prosperous. I love and I trust myself. Something that really speaks to who I want to be. If I do all the retreats and I do all the things, the end result, own it in the present tense, in I am statement. so like having one of those is a good thing to have that you say to yourself. So there's levels to that.

Just saying it because you wrote it and they're saying it because you want to believe it. And then they're saying it as if you believe it with the full emotionality. am powerful. I am strong. I am loving, right? Like, like really feel it vibrate to your whole body and truth. The more we can start to vibrate the thing that we want, the more it becomes the truth. affirmation statements is a good one.

positive, lovely actions for ourselves, our good ones. you know, again, we could come to the breath. You know, how can I breathe these things in? Breathe that up. Feel the love, breathe it in.

Yeah.

Kristin (51:00.812)
Yeah, I love that and like even as you're breathing in, was like visualizing myself just like, you know, loving and harmonious. And I also love like having a vision crafted too, but I'm also very like imaginative visualization type of person. I know not everybody is. So I think like you could, one can like craft some, you know, like a scene, like write out a scene or a story of a life in your future.

or the future that they want, you who they want to be or show up in the world as. And I've been listening, sometimes I'll just put on some like Neville in the background. I just had like a click in like a few weeks ago or maybe, I don't know, a couple months at a time where I was, you know, have this vision and then it just like, oh, I am her. And now I get to be surprised.

and delighted on the way to meeting her and taking these different action steps. And so I'm like, how would she act towards herself? She'd probably save her life. She wouldn't rush from place to place. She'd walk with her shoulders back, know? So crafting like that. How does she move and connect with people? And how does she weave that into her day to day? And then kind of releasing too.

Because he has this thing too, it's like for those seeds that you just plant, you wouldn't, like if you planted a tree or a flower, you wouldn't go dig them up every day, if they bloomed. And so I guess there's that element of trust too, in trusting oneself and then that vision to come to fruition. Yeah, I think that that's been powerful. And then it's also released.

I've said this on an episode or two before, like I definitely like looking at myself more as a miracle to explore versus a project to fix. Because I've just been in a mode lately where the word healing has just been like activating in a way where I'm like, I'm so tired of healing. Like, I just want to, I'm like, I am going to be. That doesn't mean that I'm not open to growth, insights, changes, aha moments, death, rebirth, like all those things.

Kristin (53:22.05)
that happen within the healing journey or aspect. But yeah, or maybe it's just a shift in perception of how I'm operating or going on that mission. And I also feel like for me, the more I've embraced just like my humanness, like just messy and full of going and not in a box and just...

all the things, right? Life has become more spiritual or soulful. And because I think that for so long, I think that I saw outside of myself in a myriad of ways, whether it was like man relationships, substances, alcohol, everything, I think I tried a lot. And then it swung over to all the spiritual modalities and techniques. I was looking for something external, whether, you know, it was like

the healer or the retreat or all those things until I'm like, it's kind of like what we talking about earlier is like the inside job, like starting here too. That, I don't know why just, where I was going with that.

mean, you are it. You're it. This is it. You know, that's one of the biggest lessons I ever got from my first teacher in Shamanism was Ayahuasca. And like the first thing she said when they cleared up, she said, this is it. That miracle, that healing, that thing that you want, like this, this is it. Like it's not going to happen in the future or in the past. It's going to happen in this moment.

Yeah

Juan Es Alzate (54:59.762)
and this moment is the moment you've been waiting for. This moment is everything. It's all. And so like the person you've been waiting to be is already here. A person that you think you are is already here. Like the healing that's going to happen over there, it's already here in this moment. And it's more of a matter of catching up to it.

Like a tuning to it. Like Neville would say, it's like you're, the best place to be is acting from the end in mind. So like, how, like you were saying, how does that rich person, how does this rich version of me act? You know, what would they say? Right. Which also comes to like the love piece, which is like, if you know that you're love and you tune into your loving self in traffic.

What would my loving self say to this traffic jam? You know, or you had a bad day in your home, fucked something up or someone fucked you over. You know, be like, after you do your practice, your emotional release and release the charge, you know, coming to like that place, like what would my loving, wise, full self say in this moment? And I let that come through.

do think there's something to it. There was something you said also about like the reaching and the wanting and like rather than, you know, peeking to see if the seed is growing. If we bring it back to like relationships, it's like when we want someone too much, which comes from, I'm not worthy and I need them. Like it tends to, whether they're doing it to you or you're doing it to them, it tends to push the person away.

I know I've felt it when I've done it and I felt it when they've been done to me. I'm like, get away from me. And so it's like, we have to be able to be in our center, which I would say these practices help us do. It's like, when I can be the source of everything, when I know that all the love that I want is right here. And if I can't see it or feel it, I get to go deeper in and the...

Juan Es Alzate (57:23.372)
You know, once we connect to that source, it's infinite. My first time ever feeling it was also when I got into shamanism. And it was this feeling. Let's to put into perspective, when I first got into shamanism, I was in my late 20s. So Santa returned period. for me, at least the way I grew up, sex was the highest form of love. it was.

It was the thing for me, especially because I didn't feel like I could speak or have the words. so when I, but physically I could show you how much I love you. And so, so for me, that was like the pinnacle of love. And then when, when I was doing this healing work or this remembering work, coming back to wholeness, was this moment when I felt something pop.

something clear, like the whole room cleared and it felt like the whole room filled up with water. That was the frequency of the greatest love I had ever felt and like the temperature of like the body. So it felt like I was floating in a womb or something, but I felt like not separate, right? Like just fully engulfed in and held and like comfortable and like nice. And I remember as I tuned into that love,

It was like I was sitting on a spring, a wellspring of love that was just flowing through me and out of me. And I was just overflowing with it. So much so that I had this distinct feeling that I needed nothing. Like I needed nothing. I didn't want anything. I had it all with me right here. And I had this moment when I was in this like bliss of like, holy shit. Like this is greater than anything I've ever felt.

And I saw like the little grain of sand floating in that pool of love. And that was, that was the original thing I thought was like the sex. Like that was, it was this grain of sand in comparison to this. And I was just like blown away. Cause it was like, I don't even have the desire to try to get someone to need something from someone. Like I felt so fulfilled. And I feel like when we get there,

Juan Es Alzate (59:50.082)
There is no war. you know? These problems we're having right now are because we aren't tapped into the love. It's all projected out. We're in this consumer world where we're waiting for someone to save us or not knowing that we are the ones we've been waiting for. And when we don't have it here, you know, we go out there and we're never going to get it out there. We just perpetuate this.

division, this war, fear, this, you know, I got to fight with you because I want it and you can't have it, you know, and if you get it, that means I won't have it.

It was scarce to be mine, so I kind of way of operating. I love how that you framed it too, as like a remembering. For me, what came up as you were speaking, it like a remembering of our wholeness, our divinity. To me, our true nature, and I'm like, that's love too. I think we have to wrap it up now. Like, no, well, remember your wholeness and love. Is there What would it say? Yeah, yeah. How would, yeah.

How, or is there anything that you want to offer or drop in to close us out before we say sayonara? A solista? Yeah.

Yeah.

Juan Es Alzate (01:01:07.97)
me tune it. Tune in.

to them.

Juan Es Alzate (01:01:18.466)
Zero.

I that we can find that love within. That whatever is in the way of that love can be so present, so...

Juan Es Alzate (01:01:35.768)
visible that we can look away and that we remember why we came here. And we came here for love. We came here for each other and that we're only going to make it through this chaos together. And ultimately it starts with you. With the individual saying, I'm ready. I've been.

I will take responsibility.

And you saw freedom and responsibility in that responsibility. Thank you, brother. I love you. Yes. And I think this is a beautiful episode to end and close out on the season three. And then just so you all know, I'll be back with season four, probably at the beginning of September, but we'll be dropping some reuse of different clips or I'll sprinkle in maybe a surprise here or there. But yeah, thank you so much, Wynne. It's a lot.

Thank you.