80. Research Partners, French Lovers, & Vibrating Suitcases | Intimacy Expert Susan Bratton

Watch this episode here.

What do vibrating suitcases, ethical non-monogamy, and clit-stroking meditations have in common? They all make an appearance in this juicy episode with the Intimacy Expert to Millions, Susan Bratton.

In this radically honest convo, Susan and I toss the script and drop into a behind-the-scenes look at my dating life. Yes, we’re talking a local lover and a possible threesome in Mexico, plus Susan’s wild wisdom from over 1,000 group play experiences and decades of conscious lovemaking.

We explore:
💋 Pleasure as a presence practice
🔥 What to do when jealousy strikes mid-threesome
✨ How boundaries create the conditions to be fully loved
🧠 Expanded orgasm, limbic love loops, and turning pleasure into a spiritual practice
🗣️ Dirty talk, moaning as medicine, and why your yoni deserves a mic
💦 And yes… what to pack in your sensual suitcase 😉

Whether you’re exploring open relating, craving deeper intimacy, or just curious AF about group sex dynamics, this episode blends sacred insight with real-life storytelling in the most delicious way.

Warning: You may need to change your panties.

Connect with Susan:
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betterlover.com

Connect with Kristin:
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YouTube

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Intimacy and Vulnerability
• 2:09 Exploring Relationship Dynamics and Anarchy
• 9:59 Expanded Orgasm and Heart-Connected Techniques
• 20:06 Sensual Exploration and Playfulness in Intimacy
• 30:43 The Art of Peaking and Edging
• 40:27 Creating Connection Through Sensual Practices

Transcript

Kristin (00:00.078)
All right, guys, let's rock and roll. Welcome back to another episode of Sex, Drugs, and Soul. Today I'm super excited. I've been looking forward to chatting with this woman for a few weeks now. It's Susan Bratton. She's an intimacy expert to millions, with an M, millions. And she's an author of 44, 44 books. And she, so we had an idea of what we were gonna talk about.

And we completely threw it out the window and like dropped in for a few minutes before kicking off this podcast and decided that we were gonna give you like a more intimate deep conversation. Kind of like you're a fly on the wall and about inside scoop or insight into my current dating life. So it's gonna be a little vulnerable or more vulnerable than some episodes. And she's all about expanding our pleasure potential.

and what mindset we bring to our relationships and sexuality and sensuality. I'm super excited about this deep personal conversation. We're both two sexual sovereign women from two different generations and I'm open and malleable to be guided. So I'm super pumped. Thank you. I'm a little nervous, but I'm also pumped. It's like that exciting hummingbird heart feeling.

Ooh, I love hummingbird heart. That's so sweet. Well, you know, it was just so, that was like the pivotal moment when we started talking and I've been looking forward to our conversation. And thank you for having me. Thanks for inviting me on. When you said to me, have a date this weekend with a couple and I have a local lover as well.

And I thought to myself, oh boy, can I give you some good advice? And I think it's so nice that you're willing to be so vulnerable about what you're doing because I've been married for 34 years, but I've been open for over 20. Oh, wow. Yeah. And so I've been through every permutation of every branch of the tree of consensual.

Susan Bratton (02:09.449)
ethical non-monogamy that there is. have tried every flavor and I've recently been enjoying the moniker relationship anarchy.

Because this

it's like, okay, well, what does everybody in this, what we would have called a polycule, what does everybody in this collected group of people who are around me and loving me and I'm loving them, what do they all want? Because it's always gonna be different. Every person is so different. They want and have different needs in the relationship. One of the books, one of the 44 books and programs, I'm a publisher of Passionate Lovemaking Techniques, and one of the 44 books and programs that I publish at 34,

of them are my own work, 10 of them are the work of my mentors whose lineages I am lucky enough to carry on. So I carry on some really incredible experiences for people. And one of them is about seduction. And that was what you originally asked me to come on to talk about, stealth seduction, because that intrigued you, which is interesting.

But one of the other books that's probably one of my most popular because it's one I can actually go on television to talk about because television is allergic to sex. Like they'll have crazy sexual, you know, movies that show patriarchal style sex, but you can't go on a morning show and talk about anything. So I had to build a relationship book to get on TV. And the book that I built was essentially a work

Susan Bratton (03:44.494)
book that helps you figure out what it is you want most out of your relationship. And then how to help your partner figure out what they or partner what they want most so you can meet them in their, their desire for having the experience with you that that satisfies them. like what I want is I need security because I'm a woman and I don't walk safe in the world, especially as a sex worker.

Mm.

Kristin (03:55.47)
or

Susan Bratton (04:14.882)
But I want freedom, because I'm a sexually sovereign woman. I want honesty, because I can't navigate without complete and total honesty, even if it makes me look bad, you look bad, shit look bad, I don't care. I want to fucking know what's going on at all times, because it keeps me safe and helps me be free. And I want variety, novelty. my God, can you see a theme here?

You know, like that's what I want. That's not what my husband wants or my boyfriend wants or my girlfriend wants. have totally different relationship values. So once we all know our values and we get up every day and we meet the needs of our self and our partners, and we just focus on giving them what they want, not treating them the way we wanna be treated, but the way they wanna be treated. My hook, my television hook was, they would team me up, they'd show me in the green room and they'd be like,

Coming up next, intimacy expert to millions, Susan Bratton on why the golden rule might be ruining your relationship or mucking up your. And they're like, well, why, what's the golden rule do unto others? should have them do it. Pro quo. That shit don't, don't scale, right? It doesn't work. But the platinum rule, treat your partner the way they want to be treated and have you that.

Right?

Kristin (05:24.462)
You

Kristin (05:35.758)
Hmm

really resonated with people. So was a really good hook because I knew her writer and we writers, love our sticky hooks, right? And I just think that's really like relationship. Anarchy is the new relationship. My little book was called My Relationship Magic. It's at myrelationshipmagic.com. Don't buy it on Amazon. Buy it for a third the price of My Relationship. It's just a downloadable workbook.

It was just so funny that relationship anarchy is kind of to me the next generation of my book relationship.

I love the concept of relationship anarchy. I just think that it values everybody's, gives equal weight to every person that's going to be in an interaction. And there's a part of me that's always been a rebel too, that I'm like, okay, there's something I like about the word anarchy. Or doing things that, you know, my own way, dancing to the beat of my own drum and versus like what society tells me or how I should show up.

And so there's just something, I'm like, okay, this is juicy. I'm like, I might have to download this workbook before I go to Mexico with my couple. Because I'm like, we've got some homework to do, babes. Yeah. And so it's fun and exciting and it's new. I've just been in a time period in my life where I'm exploring and I don't want to fixate a story or a future possible outcome.

Susan Bratton (06:46.54)
Yeah, we'll send it to you. Don't worry.

Kristin (07:00.99)
onto or an assumption on someone. I'd rather go in with clarity and openness. And I've been open with both dynamics as far as like, hey, this is where I'm at right now. That change might, but this is what's lighting me up. This is what's turning me on. I'm cool if it's not cool with you, but I just want to be authentic, open and honest with you and take that girl going forward. And I know I value depth no matter which container it's in, whether it's with the couple, whether it's with my

Lever in Austin, I'm like, how much I was gonna give a detail. like, I don't know if I wanna say that exact detail. But yeah, so any kind of insider guidance as far as how to know, it's very new. Yeah, and I think prior, I think I used to try to fit myself as a square into a round hole or something. And so, I'm like, what? But I didn't even realize that polyamory or open relationships or relationship anarchy was a.

I grew up in the Bible Belt and like all of this scenario. was, but I always felt like I had so much love in my heart to give. And I feel like there's pros and cons or challenges or light and shadow to every different dynamic. But if you're approaching it with honesty and intentionality, I mean, I really think it's like a breeding ground for something really beautiful to blossom. I also want to be a mature too.

Like, like,

Kristin (08:28.204)
or at faithful, you know? Faithful!

Yeah, I know. think that's very important. The idea of being in a triad is really, really fun. And I've had over 1,000 threesomes. What? So I could definitely give you some things that I've done that have worked really well for me. And I also love that you have, now you call it a cuddle partner, your lover a cuddle partner. I call it a research partner.

I basically, and I got that from Dr. Patty Taylor, one of my mentors whose lineages I carry on. She's the one that taught me about the stealth seduction. And she's also the one that bequeathed me the expanded orgasm practice, which is a literal stroking technique. It is, it's stolen from that. And, but ohm is a very transactional type of clit stroking technique. It's the same strokes.

Is that allowed?

Kristin (09:18.019)
okay.

Susan Bratton (09:25.836)
The downside is that it was very transactional and that group is currently in court for bad practice. So I don't say it's oming because the version of the stroke technique that I teach is it comes from the original Morehouse, but it's got a more Kashmiri Shaivist

FOOL

Kristin (09:37.794)
huh.

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (09:55.096)
Tantra approach, which is much more deep and heart connected. What I write and publish are passionate lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and intimate health and wellness. And my brand of sex techniques that is heart connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking. That's the descriptor that I've used in my whole journey.

Mmm.

Kristin (10:16.462)
you

Susan Bratton (10:23.97)
to describe the step-by-step approach I take to teaching you expanded orgasm skills, pleasure practices. Everything has to come from heart and consciousness. And so the expanded orgasm practice is a really interesting one because it is the practice, a sex technique that gives you the ability to touch

to feel, palpably feel your connection to, choose your favorite word, source, Gaia, God, consciousness, whatever it might be. That frigging clit stroke helps you realize that it's an ecstatic connection to sort. And it's in a conjoined trance state with a lover.

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (11:19.854)
And the original creators of this technique, they had a sex cult where they did this to each other. This is what people do. They learn how to connect to God and they're like, let's all do this to each other. you know, and even you can't blame them. And so they had established this concept of the research partner where you don't necessarily

research.

Susan Bratton (11:45.986)
have to, they don't have to be the fucking one. You know what I mean? They can be a cuddle partner, a research partner, someone who comes and strokes your clit to God. That's your boundary. Like, yes, come over to my house, stroke my clit so I can touch source. And let's go on this journey together. And that's like, and we'll have dinner after. And that's like the container of our relationship or wherever your boundaries are.

Mm-hmm.

Kristin (12:01.057)
If you do.

Susan Bratton (12:12.374)
And that's another thing that I wanted to tell you as well is that I really think that boundaries are the path to being completely loved. And here's why. I was recently a few years ago, my husband and I were in a relationship with a person and I ended up not liking her over time. I ended up being worried about her.

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (12:41.878)
I ended up worrying about her taking advantage of my very genius, but emotionally simple in some ways, partner, very kind and sweet, could be hurt, not wily, not savvy that way. And she was wily and savvy and she worried me. And for a long time, and I thought,

Hmm... Huh?

Susan Bratton (13:06.882)
that bitch gonna take my man. And I brought it to myself, but I was doing like, I'm gonna be in compersion and I'm going to allow and I'm gonna be fine with what is. And I would say my boundaries and they would break them. And I was like, well, I should just let them do what they want. And then at the end of that whole thing, when it turned out to be a fucking disaster that almost ruined my marriage, like I had to put it,

all on the line. And the mistake I made was I fucking knew it and I didn't hold my boundaries. And when you hold your boundaries, when you say, it's okay with me if you do this, but it's not okay with me if you do these things and they do them, reach your boundaries or you're with your couple and you're like, here are a couple of things that I just don't want to happen. And somebody does one of them.

Like I'll give you a really weird example. One of the things that I'm fussy about is that if I'm in a threesome with another woman, I don't like my partner to penetrate me and that woman without cleaning up between them. I don't want her vaginal microbiome mixing with me. Because I'm fussy about my vaginal microbiome, I'm pristine and I don't like introduce any

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (14:32.888)
bacteria that aren't my particular natural biome. And it was, it's a lot of things. mean, different, it tends to cluster in ethnicity because of the foods that are eaten and the biome is passed down through the birth canal into the child. But really it was so sweet. Last weekend I had a foursome.

Sure, Protective at the pH.

Kristin (14:58.766)
Mm-hmm.

My, I'm in relationship with my husband and my boyfriend and my boyfriend has a new girlfriend and she met us and loved us and we liked her. And so now we're having some foursons and it's really fun. I haven't done that in a long time. And right when they were making love, I heard my husband say to her, Susan doesn't like it if you, like if I enter you, enter her after I've entered you, I'll need to get up and take a quick shower.

And she's a doctor, which is great. That doesn't make her feel bad. She totally gets it. But it's like, it made me feel so, I was like, I hadn't had a foursome, I hadn't had sex with another woman in so long that I'd forgotten my own boundary and my husband remembered it. And I was just like, you see how great my man is like that? my.

He's taking care of me. He's listening. remembered. makes me... Yeah. Yeah, you know, I had a conversation with him. Well, she confided in me with that. She's like, you know, I'm nervous. I'm scared. Like, she's about, like, the connection that you guys have. And I'm like, look, like, I want to add to the dynamic. I want y'all to add to my life. If this is going to cause too much of a rupture or something like that, I will...

He is managing my boundaries.

Kristin (16:22.766)
see myself out. Like I don't want to bring that kind of energy in, but I'm glad that she voiced it and spoke to it. And I understand like the shaky feeling or the nervousness or foundations, like especially because it's relatively new for them as well. And so it's like we're still, and we're going super slow, like very slow, which is a-okay with me as far as like, I want everyone to feel like grounded and safe in their decisions. There's been like...

big T and little t traumas in all of our lives. So we're like, how do we go into this in a conscious, intentional, hard-expanding way versus just rushing into something or having too many, they're both sober too. So it's like, there's no extraneous activities. And I was gonna tell you, I also agree with the clit stimulation. I love Tantra and I've had some different bodywork sessions.

And to me, I've had some kind of psychedelic pleasure-induced altered states of consciousness just through touch and just through sensual exploration and experiences and feelings. I'm like, what is that? What did I tap into? And to find God through sex whenever it's like, it's interesting. Okay, I grew up thinking that, if I do this or da da, but also the taboo turned me on and it gave me that sense of aliveness.

Um, I don't know I'm going with this.

Why do you think religion tries to suppress sexuality? Because if you can connect to God without them, why the fuck would some sit in the church pew and tithe?

Kristin (17:51.726)
because it's so powerful.

Kristin (17:58.19)
mmm, mic drop. Yeah, control, ear base, manipulation, mmm.

Troll.

Susan Bratton (18:07.06)
I'm uncontrollable. So are you. You are a woman who cannot be controlled. You are in control of yourself. You are the control. You decide. I love that. So let me ask you a question. Yeah. On your threesome coming up, are there any sexy things that you're thinking about? Are you having any sexy fantasies about certain things you want to do?

Hmm. Hmm.

Susan Bratton (18:34.338)
you experiences you want to have, sex physicians you want to have, you know, anything like that.

Well, I'm definitely feeling drawn to explore more with her. Because I had that like in the younger years or settings, like, you know, taboo, maybe my, you know, as a kid, we would sneak away and like kiss and play or like play doctor or those sort of things. And so I, there's a little like nervousness, like, my God, like I I know a woman's body, like to have, you know, the practice and experience with another woman. But I'm really craving like that sensuality and that softness and

the desire to kiss and please and oral and just all of that juiciness and touch. And I also love like even just like four handed massages and weaving in like the five elements or like the different types of touch. And because that helps bring me into my body when it's like, I don't know whose hand is where. Or there's like different sensations, whether it's fiery or whether it's earth or more watery. I'm like, whoa.

I've felt so much pleasure before that I'm like, would love to experiment with that with them. I'm gonna bring some like different, like maybe like a different feather or like this like little chain thing for like a different cooling sensation, just to kind of like glide across the body. So we'll see and play and have conversations. So I definitely have that. But she and I haven't actually been intimate yet together. we- that'll be fun. Yeah. So we'll see.

You reminded me of an Austin-based couple who has a brand called Lit Up dot Love. And they have all kinds of adorable sensation play toys that I think you would like. have everything from little scratchy claws. It's Lit Up, L-I-T-U-P dot L-O-V-E. And they have the cutest stuff. They have these little furry mitts and they have the chains and they have little floggery things.

Kristin (20:12.43)
Hmm.

Susan Bratton (20:34.542)
I take a little suitcase full of some of that.

I know, I know, I'm like, I have to do that. It might be a fun experience to go through customs, like girl. I did have situation one time where I took like, I went to, I was like in Mexico with someone and my suitcase started vibrating and I was like, oh my God. I was there like, ma'am, your toothbrush is going off or something. I was like, yeah, toothbrush.

Which I guess in a pinch if you want but So yeah, I know I'm like I might have to like actually check a bag which I don't like to do but right

It's funny when I come to Austin, you know how Austin has the baggage claim where it comes down the ramp onto the carousels? My suitcase is always vibrating down that ramp. I always joke like, hey, if you see a suitcase vibrating on a carousel, look around, you'll probably find me.

Like that's like the air tag, like the pinball or the sonar radar like going off like that. Yeah, for sure. Please do.

Susan Bratton (21:38.562)
Well, I want to give you a couple of ideas.

So one of them is that I always like to have like an opening circle where we all sit around and we talk about our desires, our fears and our boundaries. And that gets us connected, touching, heart connected, looking at each other, being really present. And it kind of brings down the fear a little bit because you're all doing that.

Huh.

Susan Bratton (22:10.038)
And then once you've of gotten all that out, I like when we do this, I don't know, kind of like idea round table where we take turns throwing out ideas for things we could do. And it doesn't have to be that you're going to do it. And you could say, I'm not even sure I want to do this, but it's been in my mind.

You know?

And I think that's a really, really fun thing to do because certain people have certain ways they think about sex. And it's really fun to think about the difference. Like my husband, if I say to him, okay, we're having a foursome, what are some of the sex positions we could do? He'll be like, well, okay, let's see. And he'll come up with like 17 different sex positions. He's really good at, of course, depending on the body dynamics, you know. He's so cute.

angle and with this velocity and...

He's like, where I was like, Tim, give us some sex position ideas. That was so cute. And there are a couple that I really like in a male one man, two woman. So FMF is what that's called FMF triad. And we're three them. And one of them is that it's really fun to give the guy what's called a dually blow. Have you ever heard of that?

Kristin (23:38.294)
I'm getting an image in my head right now.

where you two are, so we did this in our foursome last week, it was really fun. One of the guys laid down flat and one woman was writing his face and the other woman was writing his man cannon and they were facing each other, we were facing each other and then the second man was standing up and his

man hammer was, I'm just trying to use a bunch of words.

Yeah, I I love I'm like a man. I was like can I kill yes?

Yes. His man hammer, he kind of put it, so the girls were in a frame on top of the bottom man. But then the second man kind of slid his man cannon in between us and we took turn, we like fought for it. Her lips.

Kristin (24:21.293)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (24:35.532)
Yeah. Well, that was a better visual than even I imagined.

That's Fun because everybody's getting stimulated and it's a lot of fun.

Sometimes I have, know, I have, and sometimes when I've experimented with 69 or something before, I'm like, maybe you can give me an insider tip on this. It's like, how do I, I'm like, I'm focusing on giving pleasure, but also receiving it. And so I'm like, how do I, I'm like, how do I be in two places at once kind of thing? I'm like, this feels so good. I just want to like surrender into that. but also I want to please you. And so I'm like, I don't like, how do you navigate that?

Yes, there's a couple of things. The first is continuously take your pleasure. Rather than thinking that you're doing someone else, you're just being in the scenario. And when you're taking your pleasure from both ends, in whatever way is happening in that moment, and you're not trying to make anything happen, you're experience, which you're good at, you're experiencing the flow of the pleasure.

Hmm.

Susan Bratton (25:43.104)
Some moments your attention is on the bottom half, some moments your attention is on the top half, and it toggles back and forth. And toggling is actually going to heighten your pleasure because when you toggle, you're toggling your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, which heightens arousal. And you're also doing something called peaking. Peaking is part of the expanded orgasm practice.

By the way, let me give you a link to that. That's, and I'll send this to you for your listeners. If you want to know more about this expanded orgasm practice, because it teaches, it teaches you how to have the practice in 21 erotic play dates. You can do them, you could do them in three weeks or you could do them in three years. And each one of, I think about each one of these erotic play dates as incrementing your knowledge about the expanded orgasm practice.

and adding to your skillset in 21 different ways really establishes fantastic partner relationship. Because the expanded orgasm practice, like everything, what you're really doing is you're getting into a heart connection coherence and you're getting into a limbic connection, especially because for you, Kristen, you're very sensually, tactfully oriented.

You like all the different sensations, the sensual, the sexual, the healing, the nurturing. These are the different kinds of touch that are as defined by Sherry Winston who wrote one of the seminal books in female pleasure called Women's Anatomy of Arousal. So that's a good thing. But this expanded orgasm practice, essentially, one of the techniques that it teaches you is called peaking.

Mmm.

Susan Bratton (27:29.198)
And actually we give that technique away as a free download when you go to expandherorgasmtonight.com. You get three free pleasure reports that teach you what is an expanded orgasm, how does it work, a technique called touching for rapture, which I think you should read before you go and people really like it, and the power of peeking.

And what peaking does is, let's just say you're delivering some sensation, right? You're going down on this woman and you're delivering sensation. When you deliver it and you're, you know, pleasuring her clitoral tip, her glands, because of course the clitoral structure is a glands, a shaft, two-octahedron, a cora.

two legs called vestibular bulbs under the labia majora, as well as the urethral sponge, which is a tube of tissue, and the perineal sponge, which is a mass of tissue on the floor underneath the vagina. So the whole entire vaginal cavern is surrounded by erectile tissue that needs about 20 minutes in the female body to come to the same erectile that the male body gets to in a minute or two.

When you're stimulating her and it's feeling really good and you've got that limbic connection and she's really enjoying herself, take a pause and then continue. And what happens is the body naturally goes, I want more. And it leans toward the pleasure, which takes the pleasure up. And so the peaking is a really great,

support

Susan Bratton (29:25.836)
most people, they're just like taking pleasure more, more, more, more, harder, faster, harder, faster, harder, you know, and it's like, that's what you learn in porn and that's not how the female audience, that's just for the male patriarchal masturbatory game.

Is peaking also called edging like that? No.

Edging is, this is another thing. So edging is when you get yourself to the moment of climax, but you don't take yourself past it. And that helps you get into the feeling of becoming ready to orgasm. But in expanded orgasm, what you're actually doing is you're taking her over the fall.

because women don't need this refractory period of the male ejaculatory orgasmic pattern that is what we all think is orgasm. Again, that comes from the 1960s Masters and Johnson studying male orgasm and showing how it goes climbs and then they ejaculate and they've peaked and then they drop off a cliff and they need time to recover. That's not at all really how

our bodies were. That's just one of the 20 kinds. And so the peaking is essentially making you reach.

Kristin (30:56.078)
and like yearn like the like, yes, more like that.

Yes, and you get it and then it's like, but edging is getting up to the moment, but not going over and expanded orgasm is you take her up. She has an orgasm, what it teaches her how to do is when she gets to that point of, of ecstatic climax, she stays there and you deliver sensation so steady for her that it

allows her to take the moment of climax and stretch it out like taffy. And so she's going in and she's going,

Susan Bratton (31:52.3)
like that, right, Shat? So that's like a really long come. But the orgasm practice, the way that that stroking technique works, she can do that again and again again and it can go longer and longer and become more and more and more intense. So

Hmm

Kristin (32:12.11)
like what was that link again?

You earned her orgasm tonight

I also send this to my local lover.

And that's what I was thinking for your cuddle

We do other things too, like he's like we yeah, there's a lot of cuddling. There's a there's a lot of intimacy. It's it's fairly new

Susan Bratton (32:36.108)
Yeah, so that will be a good practice for you guys. Do those 21 erotic play days. Beautiful. Within example orgasm tonight, teach the hymn the clitoral stroking practice. you can't get done on a weekend three day fuck fest in Mexico. You can't get there. Yeah. You know, but you can with your local research partner.

fall.

Kristin (32:53.832)
I'm like, hey, you want to do some research? My new favorite emoji might be the guy with the little glasses and then the little horny dude. I'm like, we can speak in code. I love to have my research partner so close.

Another thing that's really fun is like, let's just say maybe you could go down on your new girlfriend while your new boyfriend is doggy style behind you. So she can see him doing you while you're doing her.

Mm-hmm.

Kristin (33:30.478)
I love that. Like that's an erotic imagery, image and like interaction for me. What would you suggest like if jealousy comes up in a moment like that? Like for her or like if she sees it and she's like, this is bringing up something, you know, or, you know, in that scenario too.

So there's a couple things. The first is that when you start, you want to make, in your circle, when you're your openings, you want to make the agreement that everybody's job is to say the moment they feel spun out, disconnected, jealous, worried, know, not included, what have you, any of those things, your job, we need you to promise to the other two of us,

that you're gonna be like, hey, you guys, help me out here. Because we can't know what's going on inside you and we don't want this to bite us in the ass at the end where you were like, you guys, I wasn't really enjoying myself and nobody even noticed. Like, cannot tell what, you must tell us, this is our agreement, we're making a pact here that you just go, hey guys, bring me back in, you know, or whatever.

Hmm.

Kristin (34:45.262)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (34:50.286)
Yeah, no, I love that. Yeah, because I love the magic and the mystery, but I'm not a fucking mind reader right now. You know, and like, and like, also reinforces the sovereignty of like the triad and like, okay, like, hey, I'm feeling a little TL, I need a little extra TLC or like, can we have like a little pause or a group? Yeah, okay, beautiful. I love the opening circle idea too.

Yeah, the opening circles. And the second thing, and this took me probably not a hundred threesomes to get to, but you know, quite a few, 30 or 40. And that just takes practice. If you like this couple and you have a good time and you're 1.0, you can do it some more and you'll get really good together. So hot and sexy. And the thing that...

And then, yes.

Susan Bratton (35:39.052)
that I recommend is that you think about it this way, especially in group sex. Let's just say you and the woman have a really good connection and you're feeling really good about each other and she's doing something to you. Maybe she's like playing with your boobs and giving you nipplegasms and making out with you and it's super hot.

Hmm.

Susan Bratton (36:04.11)
and maybe you're sitting on the lap of the man and he's inside you, but you're kind of just moving a little bit, you know? sounds fun. I love nipplegasms. And I didn't even used to think I had good boobs, like in my 30s. When I was your age, I didn't even think my boobs looked good. My boobs were so beautiful. And I thought there was something wrong with them, you know, that they weren't pretty or whatever, until I had the opportunity to ride in the Critical Tits event at Burning Man one year. My girlfriends,

She's like, you're going. I'm like, I don't want to go. I'm embarrassed. I don't think I can be top with her. She's like, bitch, you're going. And so she's like, let's go. She grabs my hand. She gets me on my bike on my bike and she makes me ride. And I looked and I'm like, oh my God, I just saw 10,000 tits and my tits look great. My tits are fine. You know what I mean? I realized, oh, tits are all beautiful. Just like vulvas. Yoni felt like to call them Yoni. That's the Tantric love making word.

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (37:01.774)
listeners, the tantric love making word for the female genital system with a spiritual component to it. And it's better than vulva, which is the outside, or vagina, which is the inside, very patriarchal, like, the only thing that matters is where you stick your dick, fuck you. Right? I don't like that. And so I like Yoni and Lingham is the... connection. They're reverential. So when you are, when you are...

feeling each other. And this is really a part of that Touch for Rapture book I mentioned earlier. So you're in this thing where you're feeling her, she's feeling you. You're having your boobgasms, your kissinggasms, your pleasuring, you're having this connection. But you're also like literally you've got the cock of another guy inside you. Let me rephrase that. Literally you have the man staff of this human being inside.

you. The wand of consciousness.

You've got the wand of consciousness, I love it! You've got the wand of consciousness of her husband.

And now you're like, right, I'm toggling my attention between my mother with her, it's the 69 thing all over again, and my experience with him. And that's perfectly fine, there's no hurry. I'm just going back and forth in my experience. But here's what I'm doing next. This is like the next level. The next level is,

Susan Bratton (38:32.046)
Wow, I am feeling her and I can feel her feeling me. Oh, wow, I'm feeling him and I can feel him feeling me. But now they're feeling each other. They're connected. She's holding my shoulder while she's kissing me and playing with my breast. And she's enjoying watching me enjoy him. And so now,

they're connected and now I feel them feeling each other through. So what you're doing is you're setting up these limbic love connections, these circuits of pleasure, one between us, one between us, one for the three of us. I feel the two of them. You begin to have a deeply connected pleasure circuit that's basically

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (39:28.898)
like thrumming through you all that gets more and more and more turned on because they feel you feeling them. They feel you feeling each, the two of them. They can feel you feeling that. They know. So practice that. Bring your awareness into the, you know, the ethereal, into the limbic, into that, into, you know, so you're in your heart space.

Zzzzz

sensation space, you're in your energetic space, and all of that, remember, you're just practicing. It's a practice. Pleasure is just a presence practice, a mindfulness practice. Meet yourself back to heart, meet yourself back to connection, slowing down. We're not making porn here. We're not

Zzzzz

Kristin (40:27.47)
Mm-mm.

It's not friction. We're not rubbing genitals to get off. It's connection.

Mm-hmm. It's like a sexual meditation. love that.

Yeah, so that's a nice kind of thing to go for. When you sit in circle and you're like, one of the things I'd like to presence is that I'd like us to really be feeling each other in the heart space and connection and in the energy connection and let's practice those things. So one is if you feel left out, raise your hand, we'll immediately loving on you. Second one is we're connecting in these different

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (41:11.326)
realms. And there's a third one that's really nice and that is feel free to stop and rest as much as you want because when you're making love for days, it is you got to pace yourself, drink a lot of water, have a lot of fruit. I like grapes and things like that. You're really hydrating and all that stuff. That's really nice. And when you take the breaks, you're in each other's arms, you're

And you're doing what I love, and this is another Dr. Patty technique. This is why I carry on her work because she's not going on a hundred podcasts a year and sharing this anymore. The work that she wrote really is so important. She taught us how to be Polly 20 years ago. She taught us how to have this practice. And that is something called sharing.

Mm-hmm.

Susan Bratton (42:10.382)
It's really meant to be a snapshot, like a frame around a moment, like a Polaroid of a beautiful moment that you just experienced. So while you're lying there resting and hydrating and snuggling, take a moment to say, hey, who wants to share a frame?

moment when I was sitting on your lap and you were inside me and your wife was kissing me and giving me the love. I could feel the love and thrill of you, your conscious, what did you call it? Your conscious.

gas.

Kristin (42:48.866)
or like the sexist meditation, or the wand of consciousness, the...

I could feel your wand of consciousness, wholesating love, respect and appreciation. And I could feel this gush of lubrication because that is what turns me on so much is the feeling of being filled with your love. Right? Like I'm just thinking shit up like that.

I don't know, but I love it. And I love those snapshots and those moments and the things that we'll carry with us and maybe reminisce when we're doing some task or give us something else to springboard on and create. And I was going to tell you, I was like, if I were wearing panties, I'd probably have to change them right now. I'm so turned on, but we have about three minutes left. I know, because the fans. So I was going to ask if there's anything else that you want to share or put in right here.

to kind of close in and cap off our conversation. At least our first one, because I'm like, girl, I want you and Austin in person. And I will get the girl gangs together.

I would love that. I guess because I can sense that you're a bit auditory, would say that moan a lot.

Kristin (44:05.399)
My

just a lot of moaning, just be loud, let them know it's feeling good. And moaning is a learned skill. When you start to do it, you're actually training your body to make auditory signals of what you felt experienced. And your body will naturally begin to do this as you let the limiter off of her.

Mmm.

Kristin (44:33.57)
her

She, you you've got two sets of lips, one on your pants, one on your head. Well, the one on your mouth, the one up on your head wants to speak for the one on your pants if you love her. And so you gotta give her full-throated, unthrottled opportunity to speak her pleasure. And when you do that, it just raises the roof on pleasure for everybody, because they're getting the biofeedback they know that they need to know that they're doing a good job.

So it's a gift you're giving your lovers is moaning. And then to ratchet it up some more, I have a little ebook called the Dirty Talk Book, How to Talk Dirty Without Feeling Weird. And I think you should download that. It's a free book, DirtyTalkBook.com, because it teaches you how to share frames, but it teaches you four other techniques that are basically verbal,

communication, sensual communication techniques that are not like porn. oh, you're to go. None of that. It's really sexy. And so I think you'll like that because you'll be bringing opening circle, limbic connection, your heart, your moaning, your dirty talk, your frames. Girl, they're going to be so lucky to have a threesome with you. Your right.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

Kristin (45:56.718)
to do some fun some play I'm so excited yeah I know I would stare one little quick snippet yeah the other day I was with my local research partner and he's French so he was a whispering French into my ear and I was like I have no idea what you're fucking saying but this is incredible and like oh and then

I think you might be auditory in your kinesthetic state. Husband dear. And he loves the moaning and he loves me to tell him dirty stories while in the glove. He likes nothing better than for me to hop on pop and tell him a dirty story and take him over and over and over into pleasure. So you might be like that too. Some of us are visual, I'm a visual. Some of us are auditory and some of us are just kinesthetic. It's really good to know which one is your like lead. We're all all three, but it's good to know it's your

need one so that you can kind of really use it to your advantage, deepen your pleasure.

Beautiful. I love it. Yes. Thank you, queen.

I mean, I am expecting a delicious report of-

Kristin (47:07.822)
I'll do my recap. Thank you so much, Susan.

Yeah, so if anybody wants to find me, you can find me at betterlover.com. That's where my newsletter, where I teach all these things, you get them for free. And if you ever have a question for me, you can reply to the email that you get from me and I'll answer you. Sometimes it takes me a while. stack them up and I churn through all the replies, but I'm here to help. And thank you so much for having me today. I really enjoyed it.

I've been looking forward to it and like any expectation that I had you like blew it open so thank you so much and I'll text you after this and so you'll have my contact information too.

Sounds good.