78. A Squirrel, A Bomb, & The Politics of Laughter with Comedian Tony Casillas

In this episode of Sex, Drugs, and Soul, I talk with stand-up comedian Tony Casillas about the courage it takes to be funny when the truth isn't always comfortable.

We unpack how personal experiences, from strict religious upbringings to flawed sex education, inform the jokes comedians tell and the deeper truths behind them. From bombing on stage to navigating audience dynamics, this is a conversation about vulnerability, resilience, and using humor to cope with the chaos of being human.

Topics we explore include:
✦ How comedians use personal stories as social commentary
✦ Why religion, politics, and parenting are comedy gold…and landmines
✦ The role of selfishness and responsibility in today's society
✦ Why we need more nuance (and more laughs) in political discourse

Whether you’re a comedy nerd or someone trying to understand or survive the world through laughter, there’s something here for you.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 6:14 The Journey to Stand-Up
• 11:09 Experiencing Bombs and Resilience
• 21:04 The Taboo of Sex Education
• 39:15 The Misuse of Children in Political Arguments
• 51:13 Comedy and Social Consciousness

Transcript

Kristin (00:00.18)
Cool, cool, cool. I already love, like, the banter with you so far. Good. Okay, well, let me do my little official intro. Hey, y'all, welcome back to another episode of Sex, Drugs, and Soul. I found today's guest at one of my favorite places in Austin, the mothership. I absolutely love it. He killed that night. I thought, the room was just, like, up in roars and, laughing all over the place and was one of my best friends, favorite comedian, Tony Casillas. Hello.

I think it's

People always mispronounce it.

I practice though. You practiced? How long? At least a couple of times. You shouldn't have. For sure. I'm like, you know, I hate when people butcher mine, so I wanted to...

head

Tony Casillas (00:50.636)
Yeah, but I got used to it. People have called me Cassilas. You know, so if it's Cassilas, I'm like, okay, that's close enough. Okay, well. It's just the, you know, the white version of... Yeah, see, and I still like tortillas, even if they're pronounced that way.

like tortilla.

Kristin (01:05.422)
Me too. man. So I want to just first off say like I think stand up takes like some of the biggest balls. Like to do it. Like the bravery, the courage. Because when I think of like some of my deepest fears, I think of like motherhood and stand up.

Okay, motherhood, yeah, motherhood's pretty... I would say motherhood's harder because you have a life that you have to take care of. I if you screw it up, that might become like a school shooter or something. Whereas stand up if we screw up, we're just like sad and we eat too much cheese fries after our sets.

Tony Casillas (01:40.905)
It does suck. I wouldn't say bravery. think it's, uh... It is tough. But it's like, uh... It's like a disease. We want people to love us. I think it stems from we didn't get enough love growing up. So we're like, what if these strangers like us? So I wouldn't say brave. I keep that with, like, soldiers, firefighters. We're just, yeah, we just want to be stars.

Yeah. I also, I don't know. I feel like there's a lot of vulnerability in it too. Like even like talking about what you just mentioned, the longing to be, you know, I think that's a commonality in a lot of folks. Like the desire to be accepted, loved and liked. I mean, hell, think laughter is an awesome aphrodisiac. And I think for me, looking on the outside, looking in, I'm like, I had hummingbird heart, like reciting a poem online, you know, or at a...

open mic in that capacity. like just the, I guess sometimes the pressure I would put on myself to maybe be funny or that sort of thing would be.

Which is the only reason I like combated a little bit. Yeah. Because I see, think right now stand-up's very cool. And so I see a lot of comics that were very like, we all think we're like modern philosophers. But I'm a clown boy. And I think most stand-ups were clown boys. We're just silly geese. And so I try not to put ourselves with too high regard. At the end of the day, we're doing it to fill a hole. Yes, we want you to laugh.

But at the end of the day, do it because selfish reasons, because it is fun and it makes me feel good.

Kristin (03:21.134)
Yeah, I think that there's also, for me, I was reflecting before you coming on, like, hitting all these questions, like, me and my best friend in chat, GPT.

That's a young woman's novel. Me and my best friend and chat and cheap pizza.

Yeah, no, I was just like, okay, so because it's so healing, you know, maybe you feel like that validation from us laughing, but also like I remember, you know, right after my dad died that what friend of mine was like, what do you need? What do you want? was like, dude, I just want to fucking laugh again. Yeah. And we went to like some stand up shows and that sort of thing. But I guess like since

Like I said, it is nice when you hear stories like that, or because I've gotten that too, where people are like, you know, I'm going through stuff and I really need it tonight. So I'm not saying it's, just, bravery, I don't know. Right now it's been recent, it's been recent, and I think I've gone through that phase, like, oh, I am pretty brave. But at the end of the day, I just, I don't know. I think in human life, we all do it because we do certain things. Selfish reason.

No, I get your point too.

Tony Casillas (04:30.35)
Because we want to get something out of it. I don't think there's a single stand-up comic that is doing it for the crowd. At the end of the day, we are almost selfishly doing it for ourselves, which is fine. That's why I think anybody does anything. Yeah. Because even, yeah, so. It is hard. It is a hard and scary thing to do.

It's like the intentionality behind it.

Kristin (04:52.47)
Not like you're taking perspective and push back on it too. I'm like, give it to me. Cause I'm like, yeah, you're not on the front line. So I get that.

It's like it's not gonna be the end of the world if you know what I mean I because I have friends that are like my best friend's a cop And I'm like if he has a bad day on the job You know he might be dead or his partner might be dead where I have a bad day on the job We're just laughing and getting made fun of in the green room, so I just look at it perspective wise like I pretty

Yeah.

Kristin (05:21.608)
And at least there, the people can't record you doing it, like with the cops. If you're doing something, they could be challenged with the phones. getting shot. And shot, yeah. I've never been shot. I'm like, no, I don't think I've ever been shot at. Maybe dated someone who did something similar. I know we were talking a little bit about some of our trials before going in. So were you the class clown growing up?

shot at on stage which

Tony Casillas (05:48.11)
I was so, like I'm a dorky guy, but I was never like bullied or anything. I was never like, cause I always moved around. was not a military brat. So I moved around. So I always had to like adapt to new situations. in like high school, grew up, middle school and high school, grew up in San Antonio and shirts to be specific. But I was never like, I'm going to make the whole class laugh. I made like the row I was sitting in. And so it didn't matter who you were if you were like,

stork, a cheerleader, a football player, blah, blah. If you're sitting next to me and the teacher says something dumb that I think is stupid, I'm gonna throw a joke. I'm not gonna disrupt the class, but I'm gonna try to make the people around me laugh. So that was me. I really like how it felt, I kept, yeah, doing it.

Yeah, and I was curious if you remembered like the first time that you like made others laugh and were like hooked then or like wanted to pursue it or like what was that moment that okay you're like I'm gonna like pursue this and like take the unserious serious and start on that journey.

I always thought I was gonna, I love the arts, I thought I was gonna work more in film, like behind the scenes. DP or like screenwriting. And then senior year of high school, I got caught smoking weed and my dad's like a militant dictator army guy, so I got grounded for a whole year, couldn't go out, blah, blah. Basically my senior years just wiped. And the only thing I could do were like school activities, so I joined...

theater my senior year. And I had, in the last play of the year, I had one scene and I had a line that just got a big laugh in the auditorium. And I remember feeling that for the first time and I was like, I like that. And then after that I got hooked. Where I was like, oh, that's cool. Where it's like 400 people just boom. It's like, whoa, that's weird. I want more of that. Yeah.

Kristin (07:40.78)
Yeah, that's like a really cool effect.

Kristin (07:46.978)
No, I get it, because I did one I play in junior high. It was a little dabble in high school. And I remember having like the, being the weird kid on the play, it was like once upon a playground or something. And I made a joke and then I was like, my, you know, it was the line in the play, my God, like, what is this?

It's better than an orgasm, honestly. first bit, you're just, cause you're just like, what the fuck? You just, there's this energy, there's this roar and you're just like, you gotta stay in it. And yeah, it's, so I got hooked. And then after that, I, I tried stand up at the, what was it? The talent show that year. I got second place. I got beat out by this boy, small freshman kid, small white kid. And he sang like Aretha Franklin.

And he went on right before me and I was like, yeah, I'm losing this. But I made fun of him. I made fun of whoever put me after him, got second place, and then went to a real comedy open mic, bombed, and then didn't do it for like three more years. That first bomb like really deterred me.

I was curious about that and my friend had a question too. She was like, yeah, have you ever bombed and like how, you know, how did you handle that or did it inform your material in some ways? It sounds like it put it on pause for at least a little while. yeah. And what made you like decide to go back at it?

got senior year of college, it was four years later, and then I was in a relationship, it didn't work out, and I was like in this funk, you know what I mean? You're like, it's first love of your life. So I'm like, oh, we're gonna be together forever. And it work out, and then my buddy Nick Fields, he's a very funny comic. He was like, hey man, you always talk about doing comedy. I was doing like comedy writing for my college's late night show. He's like, come out to this open mic.

Tony Casillas (09:37.14)
And so we all drove out and then I just got hooked again. And it didn't go well. It didn't, it went fine. But I think I just realized, hey, that first bomb, I survived. And now anytime I bomb, yeah, it sucks when you're up there, but then afterwards you kind of have to just go, yeah, it happens. And then go on. bomb in front of 1400 people before. Yeah, it doesn't feel great, but then it's good though, because once you do that, you realize,

Damn!

Tony Casillas (10:06.543)
it doesn't matter.

Yeah, just like sweat off the back or rolls off.

Yeah, you gotta be like, okay, we gotta fix whatever went wrong, but then tomorrow's a new day. Mm-hmm. So.

Yeah, I like that perspective a lot too, because that's one of the questions that I was like, what would you tell, know, like young Tony that bombed for the first time or like someone else that bombed and was deterred and it's like, okay, maybe saddle back up. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, no one know no one cared like I realized if you Do really well people will remember you. Yeah, you know, that's how you reach out. Yeah, sure You reached out. I want to talk to this guy my podcast But like if I would have bombed you would have been like, ah that first guy wasn't that funny But then the next day you wouldn't remember the name you really you don't really think about the person that doesn't do it So once I realized that I was like

Tony Casillas (10:57.194)
okay, so if it doesn't go up, it doesn't matter. That's true. Because no one's gonna be like, you're the guy that sucked that I saw seven months ago. You remember the people you like. Because that's how I remember my favorite actors or people I like.

Yeah, the people that moved me in some way. That's a good point. It's like, yeah, I definitely, was like, I gotta slide into his DMs. Like, what's the worst that's gonna happen? And then like, says, no, okay, cool. Like, And I was like, I wanna like get in, yeah. My friend and I both were like, okay, we definitely wanna watch your trajectory. Cause we all just loved your.

and how you came out and that energy. it just was like, we were just like giggling and I would like peek over at her to like watch her reaction too. Cause I know that, you know, that's, you know, she wants to go on a similar journey or is on a journey, but maybe on a little bit of a pause right now too. But yeah, never, if anything, if I see anyone bomb, I'm like, my heart's going out to you. like, as a creative, I'm like, man. I'm like those, five minutes is probably feeling like a fucking hour. You know?

or if it's like you're not getting the feedback or the jiving or I'm curious like does some you know jokes land with a certain crowd and then if you're working the material like does it not land in other situations or

because sometimes I'll do sets with my darkest or like jokes. I'll see like an older lady in the crowd. I'm like, she's gonna hate me, but this is the set I'm working on. she's, so like, I'm feeling bad for her. was like, she's there with her family. And then that old lady is the one that comes up to me and goes, you were so funny. So it's like, I had to stop putting labels and like perspectives thinking, these people might, what I'll do is,

Tony Casillas (12:39.438)
If a crowd is a little bit more like conservative, older, maybe religious, I'll maybe ease into certain subjects a little easier instead of just going boom, where I feel like some younger crowds that look like me, I can more just jump into a subject where with older, maybe religious crowds, you kind of have to go, hey, I know this is crazy, but, and kind of play around. But I think, I don't know, I think,

It's all about intent and vibes. If you give that a good vibe, I feel like most people will give you a chance. And if they don't give you a chance, honestly, that's not someone I want to be my fan. Mm-hmm. You know?

Yeah, like it's like that, it's cliche, but it's like the vibe attracts the tribe or the people that you want to be resonant or around you or follow your journey or like, why would you want someone's like hating on you anyway?

Yeah, think I don't, because when I perform, don't care who you voted for, who you're sleeping with, what, you know, I don't care anything about your personal life. I want you to have an open mind and try to laugh at these subjects. And so if you're going in with, I want to, I want the comic to have this opinion, this opinion. Yeah, I don't want you to be my fan. I'm not, because I'm not gonna.

I'm what you want, I'm gonna talk about how I feel. Yeah. And some topics will be more... maybe right-leaning, but then I'll go left-leaning. I just try to chase the funny and not the...

Kristin (14:12.846)
and not the ideology or the... I'm like, I wanna laugh at both. And myself. Both are stupid. Wherever I fall, I'm like, if I can't laugh at myself, I'll flash it. Come on. I try not to take life so seriously, but sometimes I can get caught up in those moments. I'm like, just laugh, be playful. You mentioned labels. I think that's such a good point too, not assigning a certain expectation or on people. I had that same experience in a different creative manner. was like, some people that I was like,

this person is related to me and they're gonna be my biggest cheerleader for my book. Wrong. And then someone that I was like scared to share it with for six to nine months and I was like, shared it over the moon glowing like, you know, feedback. And I was like, okay, wow. So I really can't predict it or control it. So why even a try or wait, put my energy in that arena? Cause then if I release that, then the energy can be like where I want it to be like creating or something.

Yeah, and I think, yeah, I think like you said, it's some people might read your book and they're like, I have my life is nowhere near this. through certain stories, this is I know this isn't exactly like my story, but how she handled that situation is how I think I would handle it. So you just you can't yeah, you can't

Put that. Mm-hmm. So true. Yeah. Ugh. But yeah, and like, it was definitely like a skin-shedding thing, too. Do you ever have like those moments where you're like processing something through the comedy? Like whether, you know, I you mentioned like heartbreak and stuff before, or grief. For me, you know, was alchemical. I think I was living like two different lives. And so my book was like an opportunity to be like, okay, here's all my shit.

Can I ask you what were the two lives you were living?

Kristin (16:02.306)
I felt like I was leading a secret life with all the sugaring lifestyle stuff. then I like, or the, or any of like the bad girl, lots of religious conditioning, like me lacking sex was like so taboo. I I was gonna go to hell or something, you know? But I was like, so turned on by the taboo. And then, and like, you know, people that...

March to the beat of their own drug. But I was like so much of a good girl in so many ways of life, like getting the good grades, doing the thing, da da da da, earning the love and the acceptance and validation. For a while, growing up for a while and then I had two different moments. Went to church for a long time and then at one point we stopped going to church and then I had a pretty paradigm shifting moment with my stepdad who was like, well you likely only believe what you grew up around.

Church every Sunday? I mean like growing up?

Kristin (16:52.428)
He pulled up this map of religion on the computer and it was color coded. And I was like, whoa. Because they were all coded by countries or regions. And I like, if this is true for religion, what else is it true for? Everything. that's cool that you said that. Yeah, yeah. So it was like I had both. had the...

That's how my mom was kind of like your stepdad and my dad was more like the church went to mega churches growing up and I get that kind of religious kind of fear. Kind of like, I like this and scared. No, honestly.

Yeah. Yeah. it colors so much of the worldview, like almost everything. Yeah.

Because with stand-up, it's like topics I'm talking about. I remember my grandma was just like upset because she's just like, how can you be, you know, swearing on stage or you're talking about like certain subjects and make them lie. And I was just like, yeah, I know it's not, it's not okay, but it's like, it's getting reactions. So it is relating. And then, my thing is always, yeah, I always hated that kind of growing up. That's why I'm more agnostic. I just don't like religion.

just because I feel like religion sometimes holds people away from art. Because they're like, I really like, you I remember a kid growing up that I went to church with loved horror movies. But then one time he just goes, yeah, I we, I talked to the, we can't watch horror movies anymore. This is not good for us. We're getting our brain spelt. I'm like, it's a goof. We know Freddy Krueger isn't real.

Tony Casillas (18:32.846)
We just like how it makes us feel. You know, it scares us. We like the over-the-top gore. And like to me, he was like an aficionado on horror movies. I was like, that could have been maybe the next good horror filmmaker. kind of that religion kind of just took it out of him. that was not good.

Yeah, and not following through on that passion because of the repercussions. Wow, that's a good point as far as religion hindering some creative pursuits or expression in any sense or form, really. And I think that, I feel like we're here to create in some capacity, whether it's baking a cake or writing jokes or movies or books, all the things. Even business to me can be super creative.

Um, that's so fascinating to me. I had another question that I was in a piggyback off of that, it was like, I'll just go back to, um, I you mentioned like your dad, um, about the weed getting in trouble. Do you, um, dabble, like, does that help your creative process and today like weed or psychedelics or any other like altered States or.

So I'll write sober. At a coffee shop, I'll get like the... the... like 80 % I'll do sober, and then I'll get really high, I'll take an edible, and that's when like the goofy comes in. Where I'm like, okay, this is a little bit maybe like too serious, or this needs to get little sillier, and then I'll take an edible, and then I'll just get a little silly with it. And then I'll just, the extra 20 % comes with weed.

No, yeah, I was curious because I'm like such a I had such a healing experience with the with mushrooms that I'm like and they totally helped me like if it's a little microdose they'll help me like with presence creativity and flow and all that so I'm like advocate

Tony Casillas (20:30.734)
Oh, my great... I love shrooms, but like... shrooms, that's more just, I gotta just be laying somewhere, just... more like processing, which maybe helps in the future. I process myself. But yeah, I don't really... When it comes to shrooms, I'm not very creative with it. I kind of stick with weed. Yeah, because shrooms can be a little... You're going on a journey and I'm like, I don't know if...

Like sometimes I feel that way with weed. you know, back in the day it was like shit weed, right? For me, I just turned 37 and so I mean like the seeds, that's all we had. So today's weed sometimes in like, if I take one to puff too many, which I never really know what the line is, I'll be in that corner over there. I'm anxious. And I'm like, I have enough anxiety. I do not want to be over there.

at twenty dollar grant

Tony Casillas (21:20.59)
Start smoking weed.

my God, like probably in high school, junior high, high school, something like that.

So question, because I'm from kind of a small town. The drug dealer, typical, know, wore the flat brim hat, had a nice car, too nice for the age, you know. Obviously the town's drug dealer.

Probably, yeah. I'm like, there is a couple of sources.

I always think it's so funny. Because right now they're trying to ban, I think, in Texas. Oh, yeah. So I think it's just so funny to me. I'm like, this idea that you're protecting the kids? Hey, man, you're not protecting shit. The kids are still going to go smoke weed, and it's going to be delivered to them by a guy with a gun who's 22, doesn't know how to use it. I remember in high school, the amount of sketchy situations we put ourselves Oh my god.

Kristin (22:12.11)
Yeah, I ask people out coming out outside of a liquor store. Yeah. So I'm random. I'm like, hey, you mind buying our booze for the passion party? please. Pretty please? Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. It's like, and to me, like, with all the fentanyl and stuff and other substances, in some ways that has kept me from not doing cocaine for several years because of like the, I'm like, I don't want to dabble. And also I like more like hard expanding the substances versus.

But also the idea of, to me it's funny, people are like, the only reason I don't do cocaine is because I don't want to die. Part of you, because I've dabbled with cocaine, the part of you, you're doing cocaine and you're like, hey, I might die. That's a part of cocaine. So this idea that we live in this weird world now, it's like, yeah, I had to quit cocaine because it was getting too dangerous for me. Hey, buddy, you were doing cocaine.

You

Kristin (23:10.87)
SO TRUE

Yeah, there's like, have you ever seen any like media, any song, movie where people are doing cocaine and it's like they're just doing a bump and they're just relaxing on the beat?

They had to be like brought back to life like the EpiPen or something

It's always the epi- He's doing cups, so this idea, it's like...

was always dangerous. It's just the stories that we and I tell myself now. like, okay. So funny. yeah, I think they are outlawing or forbidding or banning the, what, the Delta, what was that? Delta 8. Yeah. And so yeah, people are still going to do it. And sometimes I think that if you make it to Abu and where you can't do it.

Tony Casillas (23:30.99)
It's still dangerous.

Kristin (23:54.008)
Like I know for me that has lit a fire underneath my ass to do a lot of things. Or experiment or play. If it's taboo, I'm like, mm.

Yeah, it just makes me laugh because the same people that are trying to ban like Delta 8 and Delta 9 are the same people that are just like the drug cartels are ruining our society and I'm like, yeah, you're giving them more business. That's all you're doing. And it's like, my thing is, I think it's, I don't know if you felt like this like growing up, like, Texas religious. I'm just putting Texas just because that's the experience, but...

It's true!

Tony Casillas (24:28.59)
Same with like, cause I lived in Germany for a bit. My mom's German. And like when it comes to like sex or sex education, dude it's so much more open over there. at a young age they teach you like, hey, it's not like they're like, hey, go fuck everyone and everything you can. They're like, hey, if you find yourself in that situation, wear a condom, know, be clean, know, check in on them. If they get pregnant, these are the steps. If you want to keep it, if you don't.

where here it's just like, don't have sex, don't even think about having sex, don't even da-da-da, even though chemically we're getting to that age where you're like, oh, I'm attracted to that, da-da-da, you know? And then when you get to that point, you're just lost. I remember growing up, I lost my virginity freshman year of college and first time I had sex was without a condom and...

So true.

Tony Casillas (25:24.226)
and then afterwards you're just scared. You're just like, I didn't know you should probably just have these around. And then we had to go to the, because she missed her period and I'm, first time I'm having a baby? What the fuck? I'm not ready for this.

God.

Kristin (25:38.633)
Did she get pregnant the first time or? No. yeah, a scare. Enough to like make you clench your butthole a little bit. Yeah, I was like, I'm Yeah, mean, it's the trajectory of your life. And either way, nobody I feel like really willingly wants to go get an abortion. Like I'll speak from experience, I've had one. I'm like, it's not the most pleasant situation. I'm not like. Yeah, no, but it's like.

Wait.

Tony Casillas (26:01.176)
All aboard the abortion show!

Did I want to bring a child into this world under these circumstances? I was like, shit, I had enough trauma when my parents willingly wanted to like birth me. we saw how that went. So let me kind of want to do this in a different aspect if I decide I want to have kids and yeah, I think that sex definitely needs to be chatted or talked about more.

Such a good point. Like my neighbor is French and he was telling me about him growing up and how much shame and like religious stigma that is baked into like, know, Texas or the US a lot. He said more of like the US in general and like how they talk about things more and prepare versus like, I feel like if you at least give people the tools that they need when they get in that situation, then maybe they'll be able to talk about it. Maybe they'll be able to make more of a responsible decision.

or choose, you know, at least consciously to not be responsible versus just the opposite.

And it's just like, I don't know, you're just... Because people are gonna find, you know... Because it's the same thing with kind of like, sex is taboo, then they'll probably go into porn more, then... now those kids are just watching porn, which that's not how, you know? They're just watching that, and then they finally do meet someone, and now they're trying to recreate what these porn... So it's all... My thing is like this whole...

Tony Casillas (27:29.292)
We're just gonna take, take, take. It's like, dude, who the fuck are you? I don't, you know, who are you to tell me what to do? To me, it's just always so funny.

Yeah, that's interesting too that you mentioned porn and like placing. I'm so glad that I grew up when I did, cause it was like pre, I still a little bit living in the imagination, not so much tablet or so much access to social media or porn or any of that stuff. Like my self image was already fucked with like comparing myself to people on magazines or, know, like the idealized version of like who a woman needs to be or how she needs to look or way or all those things. So could only imagine like being in that hormonal and delicate time at like,

those 12, 13 today, and then only learning about sex through porn and placing those expectations on myself and then my partner or the dynamic and then wondering why shit doesn't work out.

yeah, you're just like, do I choke her? I just met this woman. But also I don't wanna, you know, it's just a weird, and then the thing is, think, because the lack of communication growing up, when you do get with a partner, there's no communication. It's just, if you just have that instant communication, if you meet someone and you just go, hey, this is what I like, this is what you like, dude, it beats, it...

It helps so much, but even when we're adults, we still have sex, but we still don't communicate about it. Because we were never taught how to talk about it, which is to me so crazy.

Kristin (29:08.822)
I'm totally like, let's communicate it a little bit more. I've gone to, like I'm in different tantra circles where like they push for that, but I definitely wasn't given that tool belt, like right out of the gate. And like those first few conversations, like this feels so fucking awkward. But then once I talk about like, okay, different boundaries or different things or turn-ons or.

then I'm out of my head and I'm more in my body. I'm enjoying the overall experience because we're talking about whether we want to use protection or if I'm on birth control or not or all those different parameters like if I want to be choked or not and then there's a lot more freedom and playfulness and exploration that can happen versus like, am I doing it? You're just nervous.

Now you're just like, is she having a good time also? Is this like, she gonna think I'm a weird, you know? It's like, I think that's with everything in life.

Yeah, or like, or that anxiety, or like, oh, am I the weird one if I like this or express this? I know that I was chatting with someone for a different podcast and a lot of the questions that he had were pertaining in some form or fashion about, I normal if I am into this? am I, then I was chatting and joking with a girlfriend of mine. was like, I think our religious upbringing made us a lot more kinky.

Because, you know, and all those confines and this or something. this might be the reason, the source. So what you're trying to prevent, you actually instigated.

Tony Casillas (30:39.694)
Yeah, that's it. Honestly, yeah. I think that's why I did like hard drugs and stuff is because, you know, I was kind of like a dorky guy, you know. My dad's like, you don't smoke, you don't drink. So then when I was on my own and someone's like, hey, do you want to do some coke? Sure. Why not?

Yeah, I know for me, I idolized like Hunter S. Thompson and like different artists and creatives and that I'm like, man, they're experimenting. And I'm like, maybe this is a way to get inspiration or that'll go on.

The way he ended his life is a

Yeah, that's definitely not what I know. But I definitely was like, I'm, you know, put different pedestals on things and experiences. And I liked edge and being, I never liked people telling me what to do. So was like, okay, I want to be a little bit of a rebel. And like, how do I find my path through that? And that sort of thing.

think that's what drew me to stand up too, is because that's kind of, you know, because I really didn't get to speak my mind as a kid. You just sat there, you listen. And if I ever spoke my, but what about this? Shut up. It was like very, don't question God, are you crazy? So I like stand up is because you can question whatever you want. You can question whatever you want. You can say whatever, you can go down rabbit holes, you can...

Tony Casillas (32:04.576)
And so that's, think, very inspired me watching comics at a young age, like Chris Rock. you know, Dave Chappelle was great growing up. And even the silly guys, even like Brian Regan, who doesn't talk anything political or taboo. But if you watch his standup, he's questioning everything in society and why do we do this? This is stupid that we do this. And even if it's a silly...

matter or it might not have a social, what's the word, like a social impact. You're still like, yeah, why do we do it? So yeah, that's, think what kinda, I was like, I like that art form.

Yeah, like inciting curiosity in people to look at things. I love it. mean, looking at life through a curious lens versus like judgmental, think is so key for me. Are there any, you mentioned rabbit holes. What are the rabbit holes right now that you're kind of like diving into and going in?

I think, kind of like what we're talking, just this idea of, I watched this,

this city, or in the Texas state capital, they were talking about putting the 10 commandments in schools. And one of the legislators asked, he goes, would you be willing to have to get it signed off by all the parents before we put in the classroom? And she goes, no. And then I look back to some research and she's the same thing going like, you know, when it comes to like,

Tony Casillas (33:47.374)
gay or trans issues was just like, gotta tell the parents, it's the parents' rights. So to me, it's always just interesting when they want the parents involved. Because at the end of the day, I think I'm kind of working on this idea of we all, oh, we care about kids, we don't. You don't care about kids. You know what I mean? Because you'll see a kid at the grocery store acting a fool. You're not like, oh, what's wrong with that kid? Why is he acting out?

You're like, I hope that kid gets hit by a car and shuts the... the headache right now. No, but that's your inner monologue. You see a kid crying on a plane. We're not... You're just like, fuck, I spent $400. I have a long day ahead of me. Fuck this kid. And the end, it's like this whole idea of we use kids as this, oh, we gotta protect the kid. We don't care about strangers kids.

I

Kristin (34:26.551)
AIM

No, that would apply.

Kristin (34:46.734)
And it's like, sounds like she was only using it when, when it served her or her mission or platform or whatever, or her cause that she's like advocating for or voting for. don't know who she is.

We use soldier. It's like I'm trying to find these rabbit holes of use of using of Just different ways in society. We use certain groups when it's convenient. So that's been a fun

Yeah. Like, moments, it kind of makes me cringe a little. I've definitely been guilty though of being like, God, I was to like work or, you know, sleep on the plane. I know she feels fucking bad that kid is like the one that, you know, is crying. Like nobody, I think, wants to sign up for like being the one carrying the crying kid.

Yeah, but which I think is normal. think that's, again, it goes back to we're all inherently selfish as humans. we gotta work on that. But this idea of I'm only gonna be selfish when it applies to my belief or thought, that's when I have the problem.

You know, yeah, that's interesting. A friend of mine said something one time that framed something in a new light for me that I was like, oh, I've never looked at it like that. And he had said something, he's like, well, we're taught to manipulate from the crib. And like we cry, we get a bottle, we get fed. So it kind of goes on par with like if we're selfish and serving our needs in some capacity, whether consciously or subconsciously, I mean, it kind of fits. I was like, oh wow, I never looked at it like that. If I do this or do that, then now.

Kristin (36:21.342)
achieve what it is I'm setting out for, even if I'm not clear on that intention myself always. So it's interesting. I know, and you mentioned like different like comedic inspirations. I remember like one time that someone incited some curiosity in me too was I think it was Brian Callan and he had a said or something about being vulnerable. And it's like, know, sometimes he's like, we talk about being vulnerable in certain times and places. He's like, but really we're vulnerable all the fucking time. Like we could be like.

You

I mean, really, you never know. Maybe all those drinking and drugging days catch up to me. Oh, yeah. How are you doing in your aorta? I saw this old funny man one time who said something. He was like, you hear that? Titanium or aorta. That's right. I was like, But yeah, it's so interesting to me. So is that, I guess that's like what's the biggest thing that's lighting you up right now, like those rabbit holes or?

for the voice. The Kids, but also like, I don't know, I see a lot of comics now.

Alright, that's-

Tony Casillas (37:27.074)
The trans stuff is huge right now. I... It's very, like, negative towards trans. And my thing is, I've had maybe, I've known personally maybe two or three trans people. I went to a very liberal arts school. And they've all been, like, pretty great humans. And...

So my thing is like, yeah, you're basing your trans knowledge off of a crazy guy on TikTok or a crazy person on TikTok that's saying wild stuff to get clicks. That's not everybody. That's like, I don't know. So I'm trying to just, I think the best standup is, I'm not saying you can't punch down. I think you should, I punch down. You should make fun of people, blah, blah, blah.

but also like just to attack a certain group for like political re- it's just-

Especially because you know if it's like a word right now that okay, maybe this will get more clicks or views Yeah, that sort of thing and I've known a few different trans people I'm like incredible people like don't have an end for me. I'm like, I don't care what you do or what you choose to do

Once I was doing a gig in Oklahoma and there was a trans comic there who was just an asshole I was like, you're an asshole and she's oh, you're just saying that cuz I'm trying I'm like, no, no, no, you're just being an ass So I it's not like I'm not this kind of person. That's like oh I'll bow down to you. No, but like if you treat me well, I'm not gonna I don't care what you do. Yeah, what you wear what yeah

Kristin (39:09.332)
Dude, Like, what do wanna call yourself? Fuck. Yeah.

I just think it's so funny, this idea that it goes back to protecting the kids. But again, we, in high school, we don't teach kids, you know, how to do their taxes, how to get a good job, how to da-da-da. You know, when it comes to medical care, kids, if your parents don't have insurance, the kids, fuck. You know, like in Mississippi, kids,

or like starving, they're funding for food for kids, so kids are going to school hungry. go, you don't give a fuck about the kids. You just don't like that group, because they make you feel weird. And so you're using kids as the catalyst. We're protecting your kid, then feed that child. My thing is, if all the kids were doing well, and then that argument came up, maybe. Maybe. But we don't care.

Yeah, and it's-

Tony Casillas (40:10.41)
about kids at all.

I know we do have the resources to put food in mouths.

We have Elon Musk, who's a billionaire, probably is gonna be a trillionaire talking about wasteful spending. Buddy, then put your money where your mouth is.

Yeah, and put some food in other people's mouths. Yeah!

That's my thing is just this whole idea of, especially being, think, early 30s, I'm 30, I'm on the cost of a millennial in Gen Z, is we got called lazy, entitled, da da. And I just go, I don't think it's entitled to be like, hey, when I'm sick, I should go see a doctor. Yeah, there are entitled kids, they're entitled. my dad only got me Mercedes, but I wanted a BMW. You're a piece of shit, you're entitled.

Tony Casillas (41:00.622)
Yeah, but like the idea that, oh, if I work 40 hours a week, I want to be able to have like a night off, or if I'm sick, I can take a night off. You know what I mean? but a lot of people have to go to work sick because they're like, oh, if I miss this day at work, I'm not going be able to pay rent this month. And so it's like.

And then that survival, like stay, like how well can you really thrive if you're always in that, like if your basic needs aren't met or covered and thrive.

So that's kind of like what I'm trying to dig deeper in is just finding this whole idea of, especially with the religion aspect, just because my grandma was very like that where it's like putting judgment on people. But then when you do have the means to help people, you don't. I just think, hey man, if heaven's real, I don't feel like you're going to be in it. If that's your mindset.

Yeah, like keep let me keep all my coins. Yeah, yeah versus like giving yeah, I love like the witnessing the and I have experienced it like like the Generous or like the givers in life and I feel like they have like more reciprocity come back to them There's like an old 90s country song that's like let's talking about given to receive and like I feel like I've experienced that in like little You know moments, too And that's interesting. I'm like, I definitely had a grandparent condemn me to hell too. I'm like

And like, you know, you're pointing, and it brings up for me, like whether you're pointing at your fingers at one group of people or like a person or like all these actions or, you're gonna go help. I'm like, it's that old eight, you know, how many are pointing back at yourself? And if you just have like an unwillingness to sit in the discomfort of like looking at your own, you know, nuanced views, self, like good, bad, ugly, like that sort of thing that you have to like have a scapegoat to.

Tony Casillas (42:56.206)
It's because you have to have a scapegoat. have to go, what they're doing is evil. What I'm doing is nice. At end of the day, that's what it is. Trans people are weird and they're evil and they're trying to get to your kids. Me hoarding my knowledge, my wealth, my this. I'm actually good because I'm using it, a little bit of it to fight against that. That's all they're doing is they feel bad about themselves. Because it's just like, to me, I don't know, man. To me, it's like, and I'm not one of these people that are like, people shouldn't be able to get rich.

If you made your money, good. Great. Good for you. But help out your community. Like this, yeah.

Yeah, because I definitely feel like, I like the ability to earn my, make a living, and like those sort of things. like, you know, is there a point where giving too much inhibits the person's desire to earn something for themselves? So I see that, but then I also see like, feed the fucking kids. Feed the kids.

can't get the homeless off the street. This whole life, yeah, it's to help, I don't know, help people out. Whether it's with time, with money, it doesn't have to be money, but like, your resource, share your resources. Like when I'll hear people, they'll be like, yeah, man, you gotta take IVs, gotta ice baths and saunas, and bro, after an ice bath sauna combo, blah, blah, blah, I feel so mad. You gotta do it, man. You should go to this gym, and then you go,

try to sign up for the gym and it's like $450 a month. Yeah, and then they're like, you gotta do it, it's good for you. And then you realize most Americans have like $300 in their savings account. And it's like, where's the time? So like, to me it's always just funny. They like to call these people lazy and da da da. But also you're not gonna give them the chance to do what

Kristin (44:24.334)
Like on

Tony Casillas (44:48.94)
You kinda like that it's a social club. You kinda like that it's an uppity, dah. You don't want the Joe Schmo to be at your gym. You like that it's full of attractive, hot people with a nice car. You don't, it's, again, selfish.

Like a buffer to let anybody come in. Interesting. Is that like a tribal kind of mentality or something?

Around your own.

Tony Casillas (45:17.366)
Life is always cavemen, were tribal. And it was white versus black, and then that stopped, then it's men versus women, and it's, you know, now it's Republican versus Democrat.

Do you think that sometimes like the, like I know for me with politics, I'm like, okay, you have this choice or this choice and you think you have two choices and they're like, or if it's like pumped into the media, then you're not able or you don't think about this third option over here that could be really great and amazing and help more people. But you just get so caught up in like the, not you, but like, know, get caught up in like the going back and forth or the desire to be right.

that it keeps people in like a fear state so that they can't access that. You cause I feel like if you give them two options, they think they have a choice. When really, yeah.

I'll get shit on, because I'll say I'm more progressive in life, but like, they'll be like a Republican candidate I like, and I'll tell my friends, and they'll be like, you like that person? And then they'll like give me shit, and I'm like, yeah, but I like what he did here. He actually did something. But like you said, it's easier just to go, I'm team blue, you're team red. We're the good team, they're the bad team. It's easier. if it's, nuance is hard. Nuance.

Yeah, yeah. And everything I feel like has nuance.

Tony Casillas (46:35.796)
Yeah, and it's easier just to turn on one channel and you're like, whatever they're telling me, I will believe versus going like, I'll check out what they're saying, what they're saying, what's here, and then make an... Also, I think a lot of people don't have the time.

to do, yeah, that's true. Yeah, they're trying to like survive.

lot of people are taking care of their kids, so they turn on the news, they're like, man, this is happening? He's Hitler? Okay, crazy. And then they go on with their day.

Yeah, or a way to check out from like, I just need to disconnect for a little bit. So I'm gonna either scroll or then your feed is so curated to what they think you may already believe anyway. Instead of for me, it's like, okay, can we find like some of our common threads or humaneness? Because I think about like a lot of times we want the same things. Like vaccines, for instance, it's like, I feel like the core thing is like we wanna be healthy and we're making our decision whether we get it or not that we think will make us healthy. So it's like, can we find like little points of

commonality and to have like a more.

Tony Casillas (47:34.734)
My thing on that, got vaccines, I thought we were all gonna die. They're like, if you take this, you won't die, go sign me up. But also I'm not the kind of guy that if you're like, I don't really wanna take it, I'm not like, shame, shame. But again, everything, we turn everything into teams and into I'm doing the righteous thing. And it's like, again, whether you took or didn't take the vaccine, it was out of a selfish reason.

Yeah

Kristin (47:47.906)
Yeah.

Kristin (48:03.58)
yeah, like whether you wanted to die or live or not or even...

because I want to Selfish. Everything we do in life is selfish. And this, we got to stop acting like we're holier than that. We're all selfish. Why do you go to church? You're not doing it because you love, yeah, you do love God and you love Jesus and what he did, but at the end of the day, you're doing it because you want to go to heaven. And that's selfish.

and messy fucking human.

Kristin (48:35.374)
Yeah. No, to look at it through that mindset. Yeah. and I also, yeah, there's like so many different points. like, even like some of the self, like all the self care stuff, they're like, is that too, I'm like, well, I want to take care of me so that I can like give and like have a full cup to whatever. yeah, like.

Being, it's again, being self-righteous, it's a good thing.

Yeah, it's got a bad rap. Yeah. In some ways. Yeah. Like the term, self-it.

you be selfish towards yourself and when you get to a point where you can have then mm-hmm treat up teach other people take care of them and be selfish yeah keep if you're just keeping all the self

Like gatekeeping it. Gatekeeping it. Yeah, instead of being like, hey, here's what worked for me. It might work for you. might not. Here, let me share this pathway.

Tony Casillas (49:27.362)
Like if yeah, I think if saunas and ice bath and all that's healthy, put it everywhere. Make it accessible to everybody. But you're being selfish by breaching about it and saying, it makes me feel so good. But you can't have it. That's what it, it's all, it's.

fucking hate ice baths, but I'm like, get it.

hate them. The few times I've done it where I've been lucky enough to get invited to like one of those fans.

Yeah, like invigorator, charger. I just think sometimes I'm like, is it across the board or is it, you know, good for a woman at a certain time in her cycle? know, I'm like, there's some parts where I'm like, um, I more warm and cozy right now. But there's definitely like parts where I'm like, oh, now I feel like invigorated. I just, it reminds me, I just saw a video or a clip and then I did a little tiny research about how, so I'd had no idea that like drugs and pharmaceuticals in general and like studies.

Only were mandated to include women in it in 1993. Yeah. like all of the, so many of our medications, it's like, it's really just research on how it affects a male body. Whoa. So yeah.

Tony Casillas (50:37.198)
because we used to just drill holes. Your woman was acting up. Now she'll come clean again.

Go cook me a sandwich. Yeah, I told my grandma that because she's had some recent like hell things and like my aunt and I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I just found this out. Like, whoa, boom. So it's been so even like some of that too. But yeah, I can like, yeah, if you want to ask, ask, ask. I saw a hack on a TikTok. I don't know how accurate it is. Sometimes I go on those TikTok calls.

That's cool.

Kristin (51:12.846)
Whereas like, get the small tub of ice and like put your face up.

I cold showers. It's fun. It keeps you... I leave and I'm like, whoa.

it? Is it? I think the after effect. like, like in the... Yeah, I'm like... I'm like, okay, I have a couple more questions and... Okay, we have a few more minutes. Let's do it. Let's see, what do I want to ask? do you feel like you have to tote the line or be like socially conscious as far as like what you can and can't say or some of that like...

Sucks.

Kristin (51:49.1)
alleviated or do you get like kind of a hall pass on saying whatever? Okay.

And this is pretty funny. think there's a misconception, especially with the mothership right now. You'll see like comics in other cities, and they're like, it's the right wing comedy club, blah, blah. Yeah, there are some right leaning comics in there, which is cool. Like I said, I don't care what you do. If you find something funny, say it. And a lot of times I might not agree with someone's point, but I'm like, that's a funny fucking joke. Where it's the cool thing, especially at the mothership,

I like the mentality is just go up there and just be funny. So yeah. Cool. Try and just be funny. So yeah, I try. Yeah, I just try to do that and try to come from a good place. And sometimes you might say something and it just comes off wrong and you're like, okay, we have to rework that to make it, you know. Cool.

Yeah, I've seen comedians that seem like they're kind of like sprinkled all throughout the red,

We get called like a racist, like a comedy club. I'm like, if you look at our lineups, there's some of the most diverse lineups without even trying to be diverse. I mean, it's just, yeah. But I think it's just a lot of people, they see what like Joe, Billy, and it's like, yeah, at the end of the day, I've heard him say it, like he said at the end of the day, he just wants funny people in that place. And yeah, that's, and if you look at the lineups, that's all it is.

Kristin (53:00.108)
love it. Yeah.

Tony Casillas (53:18.06)
That's cool. We're pretty diverse without even trying.

No, yeah, mean like even like that night I'm like, yeah, there were several different like ethnicities, sexes. yeah. And like you get sprinkled with different, all kinds of different humor and like one sitting. It's like my favorite thing. I'm like, you free? Or like when I can get the, find the tickets. So how long, okay, so when you, once you started up comedy again, or how long have you been at the mothership or?

Which is, think, the way to do it.

Tony Casillas (53:46.446)
I've been on another ship for two years now. I'm a tour guide there. And then yeah, I've been doing comedy eight years total now. I know it's a long time.

That's That's badass. That's sweet. And like, what do they say? What? Like the 10,000 hours or?

10, yeah, headlining more and just trying to figure that out now. That's scary. It's fun. It's scary. It's. It's a journey, yeah.

That's awesome.

all the things. Oh yeah. Okay, so let me listen to it one more time. Okay, so my friend had a question. She's like, what's making you laugh the hardest right now? And it doesn't have to be a comedian.

Tony Casillas (54:11.971)
Okay.

Tony Casillas (54:21.422)
The movie Friendship with Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd. Oh, okay. It's one of the funniest movies, I think, comedy movies that came out last like 10, 15 years. Oh. It's cringy, it's funny, it's silly, it's great. If you, I tell people go see it in a movie theater with strangers, you're gonna laugh your ass off. They did a limited release and it's about to get a wide release. Oh, cool. It's so funny.

Is it out now?

Tony Casillas (54:50.698)
It's so, I think you would like it too, because there's bits with like, you know, doing hallucinogenics. good, yeah. It's very fun. It's a very fun, like, yeah, it's a fun movie.

Okay, sweet. I'm gonna need a little note. Friendship.

Tim Robinson's making me laugh really hard right

Okay, and then let me see here, answered that. Okay, this one was, if your inner child had a Netflix special, what would it be called? Or you now? Okay.

I enter time.

Tony Casillas (55:20.35)
If I had a Netflix...

Mm-hmm.

Tony Casillas (55:30.542)
have a, I think my first album or special, I want to be called Tony Kaseya's Forgettable, because there was an experience. was a few years ago, it was a Super Bowl party, and we ordered pizza.

Tony Casillas (55:52.174)
And the pizza delivery person comes to the door. She said, oh, here's your pizza. And then she goes, oh, you do comedy, right? And I go, oh, yeah. I was like, you know, I'm feeling myself. I'm like, Yeah, dabble. Yeah, I'm pretty good. Yeah, yeah. I go, she said, oh, I've seen you. And I was like, cool. And I go, oh, did you think I was funny? And she goes, honestly, I don't remember. And then she just left. And to me, I love that I did.

Because as a performer, we think like, I'm, you know, I stuck with them, blah, blah. So this idea of Tony forgettable, I just love that idea of like, hey, you might watch this and you might forget this the next day, but for this moment, let's just have fun. Yeah. So yeah.

Okay, I dig it. Vision board. And then if you could roast a historical figure or celebrity, you know, dead or alive, who would it be and why?

If I could roast a historical figure, dead or alive.

or yeah, anybody that comes to mind.

Tony Casillas (56:58.51)
I think I'll sum up in Laudan.

like I want to listen to that material.

Yeah, because he apparently had Ice Age 2 on his computer. He had weird anime on his... I would want to pre-911 time machine, roast him a bit, maybe shoot down some of that confidence, maybe save the towers or something. Yeah, like Osama Bin Laden.

Yeah. Okay, I'm like, what rabbit hole was that to discover? I didn't realize he had Ice Age 2.

Apparently the only movie he had on his laptop was Ice Age 2. So there was times after 9-11 where he's in a cave watching a squirrel try to get his nut. And to me that's just so funny.

Kristin (57:42.954)
You know, I've never seen that, just the squirrel getting his net as long

Also, not even having the whole trilogy just the second one. That's a crazy...

Only movie. Yeah. Interesting.

To me, and that makes sense. A guy that could do such a heinous attack would only have one movie, and that movie would be Isaac.

Hey, maybe I need to watch that and friendship. I'm like, which one do I do first? Do friend.

Tony Casillas (58:06.966)
Because if you watch Ice Age 2, you might be the next Osamu Ben-Lan. You might really relate to it. And you're like, I can't.

Things have to They are working. Yeah, what is that gonna lie? Proceed with caution. So yeah, Cher, anything that you've got like juicing up?

You can follow me at comedian Tony C. That's where I post all my dates. If you're in Las Vegas, I'm gonna be headlining the Wise Guys Comedy Club June 21st and 22nd. And then I'll be in Milwaukee on June 14th with Trevor Wallace and then the Chicago Theater on the 15th with Trevor Wallace. That'll be cool.

So what would you tell like your younger self that ever had any doubts about like starting the journey or someone in a similar spot? I love it. You did it. You did it. And keep going. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Thank you so much for accepting my DM. Yeah, no worries. This was great. I loved your, I love chatting with you. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Well. I think that's it guys.

You did it.

Tony Casillas (59:13.998)
Hey, be selfish and it's okay, but also help others.

Yes, feed the kids. I love a good snack. Let's get them some snacks too. Seriously.