61. Embodied Empathy: A Journey Through Dance and Bondage with Cyrus Wild Artwork

Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Hey there! I’m Kristin Birdwell, and welcome to the Sex, Drugs, & Soul podcast! I’m an author, seeker, and mystic exploring where the sacred meets the everyday. For years, I thought my spiritual journey had to be separate from my human experiences, but what I’ve learned is that true growth happens when we embrace both.

This podcast is a space where I bring you along on that journey. Whether I’m flying solo or chatting with fellow seekers, self-healers, and sensual explorers, we’ll dive into the sweet spot where spirituality, sexuality, and self-expression meet. It’s all about living fully, embracing every part of who we are, and having some fun along the way.

If you’re ready to explore, expand, and embrace all that you are, come on this adventure with me. I can’t wait to share this with you!

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Sex, Drugs, & Soul

61. Embodied Empathy: A Journey Through Dance and Bondage with Cyrus Wild

December 16, 2024 • Kristin Birdwell • Season 2 • Episode 18

Join Kristin & Cyrus Wild as they explore the powerful intersections of movement, trust, and personal growth. From the fluid rhythms of Zouk dance to the intense dynamics of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and the art of Shibari, they explore how these practices shape our connection with others and ourselves.

With a focus on community, aftercare, and innovative coaching approaches, this episode explores the importance of vulnerability, awareness, and intentionality in building deeper connections and fostering personal growth.

Watch the full episode here.

Jump to the mic drop moments...

5:05, The Journey into Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
11:35, Diving into Shibari: The Art of Rope Bondage
22:06, Crafting a Shibari Retreat in Costa Rica
31:07, Creating Cohesion Through Shared Experiences
36:41, Innovative Approaches to Coaching

Upcoming 3-Night Shibari Temple Immersion:
Soul Ties & Love Knots

Connect with Cyrus
Instagram
Website

Do you want to reset, expand, and feel more alive? Learn more about Naba and the community detox journey here.

Cyrus (00:00.527)
That's how we do it anyways.

Kristin (00:00.8)
I got sirens in the background with Cyrus. Where are you love?

Cyrus (00:05.999)
Rio de Janeiro.

Kristin (00:12.662)
I need to put an air tag on you. And we're always trying to like coordinate time zones and stuff. I love it. What's going on in Rio?

Cyrus (00:22.224)
And sometimes on the call, sometimes I'm on the call is three different time zones to coordinate. Yeah, what's going on in Rio right now? Some jujitsu, some a little bit of Zouk, lot of Shabari.

Kristin (00:33.078)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (00:38.082)
Cool.

Kristin (00:44.052)
Yeah, okay. I definitely want to dive into all of those things. But what is I don't even know what Zook is.

Cyrus (00:51.17)
Yeah. Yeah, Zouk is It's a, it's a, it's a partner dance. I, I first started to see it in like, kind of like the contact improv type communities. it was kind of flowy. I liked it. It looked like a mix of like tango and something else. Yeah.

Kristin (01:03.02)
Cool, that's fine.

Kristin (01:18.815)
Cyrus (01:19.596)
Yeah, tangle but flowing, right? It sounds weird.

Kristin (01:23.052)
That sounds really cool. Can you like expand a little bit on contact improv? Like what that is or what that looks like? Because I don't know. Like improv, like funny improv. In improv, it's like yes and, right?

Cyrus (01:32.373)
god, I to... Yeah, yeah.

That's a good question. Yeah, contact improv is yeah, like body to body. In a partner dance, there's like a clear leader and a clear follower, like, you know, masculine and feminine. And I know that can be contentious topic nowadays. Yeah. So maybe the way to describe contact improv is a bit more non-binary.

Kristin (01:43.69)
the body.

Anyway.

Kristin (01:59.507)
It's

Cyrus (02:08.287)
where the leader and follower is constantly shifting and yeah there's a shift between like being a base and stable and allowing yourself to leave your feet and leveraging yourself off the person's hips and sometimes you take flight and or sometimes you're on the ground and to the sensual yeah whatever.

Kristin (02:26.326)
Mmm.

Kristin (02:32.3)
Cool.

Kristin (02:35.682)
Are you, that's cool. Are your eyes open or closed?

Cyrus (02:40.853)
My eyes are always close, but yeah, probably the average person. Yeah, the average person, their eyes are probably open. Yeah.

Kristin (02:43.114)
Okay, we can do either way. Okay.

Kristin (02:48.679)
Well, I remember trying the Lottie Hawn stuff and I feel like my eyes were closed for that, right? Like the blindfold kind of like, is it kind of like the contact improv stuff?

Cyrus (02:58.231)
I don't know if we touched on it in the last podcast, but that's how I got into contact improv was after La Tijana, after ISTA, led by Laurie. And it just, and I was asking people like, how can I get more of this? And they were like, yeah, in a bit more normal quote unquote setting, it's contact improv. So that was my entry point into it.

Kristin (03:03.521)
Okay.

Kristin (03:10.86)
Cool.

Kristin (03:21.186)
Thanks

Kristin (03:26.626)
I remember watching it at the Austin Tantra Festival. Well, I mean, because they were like, okay, you can, you know, do the activity and then but if you decide to take off your blindfold, then you're on the sidelines for the rest of the time. And but I so I love doing both. I love like being in the mix of it. And like

kind of guessing, also surrendering and like the play of the different energies and stuff like that. Like that was really cool. but then I also love witnessing it and observing it. And what that's probably just like the little voyeuristic part of me that enjoyed that too. So that's cool. So Ladi Han led you to contact improv to Zouk and there, and I guess that's, that's really cool. I've actually been wanting to dance more.

and look into different lessons. I'm starting with line dancing, but this this looks a lot sexier. Yeah. That's cool. And you're doing lessons for Zouk in Brazil.

Cyrus (04:22.869)
Yeah, yeah,

Cyrus (04:30.122)
Yeah, so so yeah, how I decided to come to Brazil was I want to learn more about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I wanted to learn more about Brazilian Zouk. So Zouk was this former Zouk was created here. Previously, it was called Lombada. So it kind of died away and some people here picked it back up.

Kristin (04:40.354)
Cool.

Cyrus (04:57.846)
They kind of use regular mute. There's no like specific music for it right now. And yeah, there's retreats and emergence taught all around the world. It's actually less known in Brazil. They usually dance foho here actually, but yeah, I why don't I go to the place where these things are in like the DNA of the place? That's how I ended up here.

Kristin (05:02.229)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (05:13.644)
Wow.

Kristin (05:27.618)
Yeah, and how, so tell me about like a little more of the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Like I guess you were experienced a little bit before you got to Brazil to take some of the lessons or like a fully immersed yourself or?

Cyrus (05:33.387)
Please.

Cyrus (05:44.236)
I've had an interest for a bit. Yeah, like all over the place. When I was in Costa Rica for a little while, I started and I was hooked.

Cyrus (05:58.844)
I just find it more and more practices to be in my body and almost like a controlled aggression. A place to let out. These things, in my opinion, are like made bad, especially in masculine and a man, I know, like to say it right, male body, sister to male. It feels so healthy to

Kristin (06:03.073)
Hmm.

Kristin (06:07.234)
Mmm.

Cyrus (06:30.281)
Yeah, to move in this way, yeah, to, master this part of myself as my warrior archetype, right? yeah. So I feel like I have a pretty decent warrior and, and feeling like it needed to be a further development. So on a deeper level, that's what it gives to me. I work out, yeah.

Kristin (06:37.356)
Mm-hmm. Mmm.

Cyrus (07:00.041)
and it humbles you like you get you.

you exercise your warrior archetype and at the same time you're humbled because you know after a while you know somebody puts you in the arm bar or somebody puts you on a choke you know and you have to tap but yeah then then then you you give the guy like a five and then you're back at it again and such is life you know

Kristin (07:14.217)
you

Kristin (07:18.216)
Mm.

Kristin (07:28.93)
Mm hmm. Yeah, I think that's powerful. I mean, I think that speaks to like one following curiosities and seeing like disorder, the things that light you up or like the little trails and then the distinction about yeah, things that will like help you be in your body and express or like what like let out anger or maybe something like that. I know that's what boxing does for me.

Cyrus (07:37.14)
Hmm.

Kristin (07:56.636)
I love going boxing class and just like, especially if I feel like I need to like move some energy and hit something. I love that. I love boxing class. And then I know, I don't know, it's interesting that you also mentioned Shabari. Like I'm very curious about Shabari. So what, and so are you doing lessons for that as well in Brazil or?

Cyrus (07:56.692)
Yeah.

Cyrus (08:16.041)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (08:24.074)
Yeah, and just one more thing about the jujitsu. It's not an aggressive, like actually when I first went to learn, you know, I'm trying not to get choked and trying to like, and you just kind of in there's this like anxiety and this like unstable energy. And some schools, they don't tell you, they just keep submitting you. They just keep submitting you and they just keep submitting you.

Kristin (08:26.71)
Yeah.

Really?

Kristin (08:34.978)
Mmm.

Cyrus (08:51.72)
You don't learn anything and some people can go six months to a year. Just keep going and they just keep getting submitted until you learn to slow down and you either have the technique or you don't. Or sometimes you might allow something. You might allow yourself to be put in this a certain position only to figure out a way to get out of it. Right.

Kristin (09:03.106)
Mmm.

Kristin (09:19.424)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (09:21.769)
So yes, a controlled aggression to a degree and a mastery, like a mastery of your warrior archetype and a discipline and a reverence and a devotion. So it's not like you're just going in there, because if you do, especially as a white belt, know, 99 % of the people in there. You know? Yeah.

Kristin (09:30.314)
Yeah.

Kristin (09:39.305)
Mm.

Kristin (09:48.193)
We'll put you on your ass quick. Wow.

Cyrus (09:51.362)
break your arm, break your ankle, yeah, strangle you till you pass out, so it's like...

Cyrus (10:00.533)
devotion.

Kristin (10:02.114)
Cool. I like that distinction. Would you say that there's a power in knowing when to tap out to? like, that balance?

Cyrus (10:04.509)
Mmm.

Cyrus (10:09.873)
Yeah, so like even if you have a high tolerance of pain and you think maybe you'll get out and then all of a sudden you're waking up because they're shaking your legs because the blood stopped going to your head. yeah, witness submit because you can keep going, you know.

Kristin (10:24.79)
What?

Kristin (10:29.93)
Hmm.

Cyrus (10:32.253)
Yeah, I think that's all I have for that part for now. Yeah.

Kristin (10:35.728)
I like that a lot. I don't know if I have any desire to go wrestle around, I like the way you described, honing in or like on your warrior archetype. That's cool.

or like the submission or knowing when to submit to I don't know I like just like that and then Yeah, so let's expand on some Shabari, which I guess if you don't know what Shabari is, how would you describe it?

Cyrus (11:04.232)
yeah it's a japanese rope bondage

Cyrus (11:14.089)
to one degree, it doesn't have to be, like almost like a Japanese rope torture. I think in the advertisement for one of the things I've put out, I think the

Kristin (11:25.023)
I'm looking at some images right now. I'm a very sexy someone like, fuck that. Yeah.

Cyrus (11:40.818)
the tagline is like diving into the tension and tenderness.

Kristin (11:44.674)
Mmm.

Cyrus (11:48.294)
Yeah, the mix between the distinction between like what's pain and what's pleasure.

Kristin (11:55.778)
Mmm.

Cyrus (11:57.232)
distinction of containment being held.

distinction of slowness.

Kristin (12:07.618)
to me it looks like a good way to maybe work out some control issues. Cuz I'm like, I don't know. Like there's a part there's an element of you know, I'm very curious. I'm like anti-stuck. I do want to try it. But there is an element or I'm like, I don't know about this looking hog time thing.

Cyrus (12:07.729)
some of that.

Cyrus (12:12.146)
Yeah, yes, and it did some.

Cyrus (12:24.68)
Look at hogtie. From Texas. We know you're from Texas. Ain't nobody hogtie me.

Kristin (12:36.692)
you

Kristin (12:41.986)
Let me start with some arms. I still want to be able to run away, okay? That's part of my attachment style. No, no.

Cyrus (12:54.796)
Where's the avoidant Shabari? Yeah. I guess the anxious attach is like, no, don't untie me. Don't let me go. Yeah.

Kristin (13:06.603)
Or don't leave me in the room alone.

Cyrus (13:12.292)
I think there's like a connection between all three, like with the leading of the Zouk. I guess just it feels like it's all exercise in my masculine, my manhood, my ability to be present, my...

Kristin (13:28.116)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (13:37.959)
ability to be an integrity and my ability to be a trustworthy man. Because within the dance when you're like even just the way you hold your hands, it's almost like you present yourself and the woman chooses and she chooses to like follow your lead and you need to and you send clear signals. But if you grab and you push and pull and nobody's going to want to dance with you, right? So

Kristin (13:43.222)
Yeah.

Kristin (13:58.626)
Mmm.

Kristin (14:07.147)
Yeah.

Cyrus (14:07.431)
The same with the jujitsu. It's a martial art, right? So like the finesse and the discipline and the devotion and you're still taking care of your partner because there's a time when you can put them in a submission, but you kind of slow down so that they feel it and you give just enough and then they tap. The same with and with

Kristin (14:29.964)
Mm.

Cyrus (14:37.284)
with the Shabari is...

Cyrus (14:42.982)
Somebody's offering, like you said, the trust. Somebody's surrendering their body to you.

Kristin (14:47.818)
Mm-hmm

Cyrus (14:49.656)
And so many ways, so often before you start a session, there's a holding that takes place to allow the person to melt and build some trust.

Kristin (14:57.378)
Okay.

Kristin (15:03.102)
Okay, I was curious if there's like a conversation protocol, because if you know the person or not, you know, or like, or, okay, so you do have some like contact a little bit before you just.

Cyrus (15:10.8)
Yeah.

Cyrus (15:17.019)
Yeah, beforehand, boundaries and concerns and what a person wants to get out of a session. And I guess I'm skipping that. And just within the within the practice. And again, it depends on what the what the objective is. There could be some that are more aggressive, some, but I'm.

Kristin (15:21.09)
Thank you.

Kristin (15:25.09)
witness.

Cyrus (15:44.206)
I'm in a space right now that is just more sensual and on the ground. so,

Kristin (15:50.306)
Hmm.

Cyrus (15:53.158)
through my body, through my nervous system being regulated, that regulation, that co-regulation is transferring into the person who is choosing to surrender their body to me. And as they relax, they relax into maybe a particular tie that I'm doing or maybe just holding them.

Kristin (15:57.348)
Mm.

Kristin (16:02.306)
Hmm

Kristin (16:07.2)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (16:18.432)
Mm.

Cyrus (16:21.19)
So again, for me, I'm putting myself through my own personal workshop. It feels like my own personal development of how can I show up better in the masculine and to have that trust to this body. Yeah, it's such a gift.

Kristin (16:33.13)
God.

Kristin (16:42.25)
Mm-hmm. That's really cool. Now, ooh, really? Like to witness it or to witness the surrendering or the trust or? Mm-hmm. And to be trusted too and yeah, I feel like that, you well, you mentioned co-regulation of nervous system, but I feel like that maybe that trust is transferable a little bit too or like maybe that feeling of it or the emotion.

Cyrus (16:44.409)
And it could be emotional from my side also, like, eh, eh.

Yeah, to hold in that way, like, you know, just like... Yeah.

Kristin (17:12.738)
some kind of soul time. No, no, because I want to carry. There's a couple more questions or at least one that I wrote down that I didn't want to forget. Have you been, what do you say? They're surrender tied up? How do you like the.

Cyrus (17:14.585)
Yeah

Cyrus (17:30.394)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so some of the language is like top or bottom. So the person that's the top is the person who is who's tying, who is holding containment, who is responsible for the bottom. And the bottom is the one that is choosing to surrender.

Kristin (17:49.826)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (17:58.021)
to the top's leadership. But again, the top has the responsibility of taking care of the bottom in the way that whatever way it is that they agreed to. Yeah.

Kristin (18:09.494)
Beautiful. And so you've been on both sides. Okay.

Cyrus (18:12.932)
Yes, and I call it embodied empathy, But in BDSM talk, they would call it switching.

Kristin (18:18.46)
Ooh, dang. Ooh.

Kristin (18:26.183)
Yeah. How cool.

Cyrus (18:30.085)
but yeah, I call it embodied empathy.

Kristin (18:33.366)
That is an awesome term of phrase. Well, then all of these modalities do seem like a way of or a form of embodying some kind of characteristic trait essence. Maybe that's that warrior archetype. It just feels like a honing or like different modalities for embodiment too. But embodied NPC, I love that.

Cyrus (18:36.127)
Eh.

Cyrus (19:00.408)
I feel like the warrior and the lovers in both, right? The warriors, maybe in the dance, the warrior's holding frame, but you know, the lover has the finesse and can create an enjoyable dance. The same is within Jiu Jitsu. You know, the warrior, you're doing the workout or you're doing the drills.

Kristin (19:04.034)
and

Cyrus (19:28.687)
You're essentially fighting, right? like lover in the sense that it's still your brother or your sister that you're sparring with, that you're training with, even though you're performing a move, you're still taking care. Yeah, and same with the Shibari.

Kristin (19:37.632)
Yeah.

Cyrus (19:54.634)
if you're all soft and over like you know too floppy it won't be enjoyable for the bottom so you still need some like you still your aggression is still there but it's it's yeah anyways

Kristin (19:59.307)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (20:08.609)
Yeah.

Yeah, and I feel like with all those things too, it requires a certain level of presence. you know, like you have to be present. There is no ruminating or thinking and all that stuff too. I'm curious, did we touch on how you discovered Shabari at all? I don't think so. Okay, I'm curious. Yeah, let's see if you're willing.

Cyrus (20:16.973)
Yeah, it's all three. Yep.

Cyrus (20:30.372)
No, I don't think we did. Shibari. See, was a... There's... Had been a curiosity for a while. My initial curiosity started around Corona. I found my way to...

Kristin (20:45.398)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (20:58.787)
one or two munches. A munch, a munch, a munch is... I was munching it, and then like, yeah, no. What if I tied it up?

Kristin (21:02.092)
What?

I know what I think a munch is.

Cyrus (21:28.013)
Yeah, mine's within the BDSM realm is a meeting, like a vanilla meeting in an open space where you go and you meet community. It could be at a coffee shop, it could be at a thing, and you just meet each other and...

Kristin (21:39.254)
Mm.

Cyrus (21:55.07)
see how you feel. There's people that are in the community, people that are new and curious. So I started there.

But it was a challenge with Corona and the mask and not as many things going on. And usually it's a slow process, again, of earning trust and then you get invited to things. So then I started to move around a bit. So I stopped that route.

Kristin (22:10.272)
Hmm.

Cyrus (22:27.042)
still had the desire than my most recent partner that I was with.

Cyrus (22:37.696)
We signed up for a private class in Amsterdam.

Cyrus (22:46.198)
Yeah, we both found a teacher. So we went to the one she found first and yeah, we had a private lesson and it was amazing. Bought some rope, put that relationship transition like right soon after that. Like, yeah, it was already kind of turbulent, but yeah.

Kristin (23:06.607)
Getting tired down.

Cyrus (23:13.795)
Thought the ropes would help, but yeah. She got away. Anyway, so I've been traveling around, realized I've been traveling around with this rope for like 10 months. So I bought four pieces of rope and the rope's been in different countries. I've hung it so that it, I've been taking care of it, like oiled it, like getting the votes.

Kristin (23:41.6)
Wow. Yes.

Cyrus (23:42.518)
devotion, right?

Cyrus (23:46.804)
And then, yeah, I make it to Rio. And then I start to reach out and find somebody to go into a deep dive with here. And I've been practicing pretty consistently. I actually just finished practicing minutes before we jumped on this car. Yeah, they're still here. So,

Kristin (24:01.623)
Cool.

Kristin (24:09.321)
cool!

Cyrus (24:14.742)
Hehehehehe

Kristin (24:15.14)
cool. I love that. No, okay. You mentioned a couple of times BDSM and so Shabari doesn't have to be an element of BDSM, but it is an element of BDSM, which I guess if you don't know what BDSM stands for, bondage, discipline, dominant submission, right? Something like that. And submission is...

Cyrus (24:36.396)
Mm-hmm. Massacrism.

Kristin (24:39.904)
Yeah, there we go. There we go. Yeah. Okay. I missed a couple. And apparently there's online kink tests that you can take if you're curious about them. Which we can maybe expand on some quizzes later. Okay. Yeah, no, I was curious about because, you know, just mentioning it a couple of times and then, you know, how it relates to that world too.

Cyrus (24:50.538)
No.

Cyrus (25:10.144)
It's very much so in that world. It's becoming a bit more mainstream now, but definitely within that realm. Just like anything, you can dive deeper. There can be a whole lifestyle that's associated with it, partner dynamic.

Kristin (25:12.298)
Okay.

Kristin (25:26.175)
Yes.

Kristin (25:31.282)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, necklaces and stuff. No. Okay, and so I'm a little privy that you actually are now crafting a workshop or a retreat for Shabari or Shabari-focused retreat, which sounds super dope. In January, did you lock down dates? I think I saw that you locked down dates. Yeah.

Cyrus (25:48.364)
you

Cyrus (25:56.704)
Yeah, it's locked down and it's starting to, started to launch. So again, this was something, I guess just what's guiding me right at the moment is like, what do I want? And then make my best attempt to create it. So before finding, before finding the mentor here,

Kristin (26:01.186)
Cool.

Kristin (26:13.312)
Hmm. Hmm.

Cyrus (26:25.794)
I was like, where's the next place I'm going? The next place I plan to be is in Costa Rica for a bit. So for a while, I would just land somewhere and then try to figure out after that. Now I've been traveling so long, maybe like a year or two, where it's like, okay, I need to like a bit more foresight. Too flowy is kinda, yeah. yeah, yeah. So with that.

Kristin (26:28.599)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (26:32.738)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (26:46.806)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, more intentionality. Yeah.

Cyrus (26:55.706)
And this it's the immersion will be In Nosara Costa Rica And I've spent quite a bit of time in that area And I haven't necessarily found somebody who like has a specialty in this So I said, okay, we have to bring it there Yeah, so through that process I found an amazing

Kristin (27:13.142)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (27:25.154)
an amazing facilitator. name's Katie, but it's spelled K-E-K-A-T-I. So I've been calling her Katie. Yeah, especially being in Europe, it's like, yeah, it's just Katie. Yeah, found an amazing facilitator. Her work looks amazing. Has a very good following also.

Kristin (27:33.878)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (27:38.678)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (27:56.16)
then with that I said, okay, we need a facility, a space to match. So with that.

I knew some people connected to a place called Tierra More in Costa Rica. It's a newer community that is innovative. Yeah, they bought some old cattle land where they're to reforest it. They've already started to a food forest, invest in millions of dollars into the land.

Kristin (28:21.122)
Yeah.

Cyrus (28:35.584)
Yeah, in a few years, there'll be a jungle there again with howler monkeys and snakes and birds. And so the mission, the mission, the mission is amazing. They already grow a good amount of beautiful food and they have an open mind to invite this type of immersion and.

Again, the name of it is Soul Ties and Loveslips... Soul Ties and Loveslips... Love Knots, no slip. Soul Ties and Love Knots.

Kristin (29:10.218)
Yeah.

Cyrus (29:14.55)
Yeah, it's a temple, temple slash Shabari retreat. So it'll be three nights. And in temple culture, if people aren't familiar with temple, how to describe a temple.

Yeah, a temple could be an evening where it's...

maybe tantra-esque and usually a beautiful environment and there's connection exercises and on

Kristin (29:46.178)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (29:59.292)
one end of the spectrum it could be just like sensual exercises for the night and then you go home to the other extreme as well where people get to explore sexuality and sex and

Kristin (30:12.364)
the other extract.

Cyrus (30:22.399)
Part of the purpose of it to explore sex and sexuality in this space is to bring it out into the open where many of us, you even just take like, you know, like masturbation as a kid, you know, you had to like sneak and hide and nobody find out where, hey, the...

Kristin (30:41.086)
Mm-hmm, hide it, yeah. Or not talk about it.

Cyrus (30:51.772)
the thought or the belief or the paradigm is that it's sacred and normal at the same time and a relief of shame and

Kristin (31:01.024)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (31:08.774)
way to make community even more cohesive. Just another form of shining light on the quote unquote dark. So what lights me up about this three night temple is it's just that it's not like a Shabari workshop where you just go into a yoga studio and

Kristin (31:12.054)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (31:18.402)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (31:37.106)
You learn how to tie and that and it's separate or you go into a temple and it's like there's this atmosphere created and that's one separate thing. But to bring them together where you kind of have the mystery along with I see the Shabari as the devotion. So when we talk about devotion, I guess normal people talk would be like a routine.

Kristin (31:57.228)
Me too.

Kristin (32:06.722)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (32:07.606)
or an act of love, right? A routine that's an act of love. So for me, the Shabari is the people who go through this container together will be...

Kristin (32:11.551)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (32:23.75)
a shared act of love, like as a language, right? So these people will go through this immersion together, learning a common language that ties them all together. And in essence,

Kristin (32:26.632)
Mm.

Kristin (32:38.229)
Yeah

Kristin (32:41.812)
Aw, cute.

Cyrus (32:46.558)
you know, the partner, the partner that you're with. And this is an act of devotion that you can take with you outside of this immersion and go as far with it as you like.

Kristin (33:00.801)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (33:02.578)
Yeah, so there'll be actual instruction on how to tie in addition to...

a big open space aftercare.

Cyrus (33:19.166)
because I think part of the secret is the point of the tying. It's almost like the point of getting tied up is to get to the aftercare. And that's where everybody gets to drop in much deeper, either the bottom on their own or the top and the bottom, that connection just like.

Kristin (33:32.13)
Mmm.

Cyrus (33:50.142)
So to have that as a container, each night will get deeper, and on the final night there'll be a ceremony. Yeah, and the healing that'll take place will be through the modality of the rope, through the intimacy, through the connection, through like that deep dive.

Kristin (34:16.962)
Okay.

Cyrus (34:21.79)
with an amazing facilitator, beautiful environment, beautiful food.

Kristin (34:27.176)
Hmm. Yeah, it sounds awesome. I do have a question or curiosity around relating styles as it pertains to this. you can you are you envisioning more solos coming to this like retreat or like couples or both? And then I also have a question like, can you practice this on yourself to?

Cyrus (34:49.042)
Yeah, so at the moment what I envision is people pairing up and potentially sticking with the same pair for the whole three nights. People that are local can go home and come back. We have an option for you to stay in Tierra more to help with your integration.

Kristin (34:55.168)
Yeah. Yeah.

cool.

Kristin (35:13.218)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (35:16.574)
So during the day you could possibly practice or just be around the retreat center that has this beautiful amazing Maloka that they just built. Yeah. So yeah, can come coupled. If you come coupled for sure, you'll be able to dive deep. You can sign up as a single. The intention is for us to pair you up.

Kristin (35:20.502)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (35:36.427)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (35:44.332)
Yeah.

Cyrus (35:46.478)
And the intention is for the people that are paired up to switch. So one will have some time as top and as bottom, again, for that embodied empathy.

Kristin (35:52.15)
Mmm.

Kristin (35:56.652)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (36:01.088)
Mm-hmm. Beautiful. Can you give me... Yeah.

Cyrus (36:04.242)
Yeah, so relationship style that's on that's on that not a concern of anybody.

Kristin (36:11.99)
Well, I mean, just because I'm thinking about like if someone is like, what is a temple? How does this even work? You know, if they have like no frame of reference whatsoever and it's like, OK, well, all relating cells are welcome. That's what I was kind of like kind of seeing or get there. At least I saw that in like other temples where you could, you know, be partnered with somebody or explore it with multiple people. Or if you just wanted to have that one, you know, like

Cyrus (36:18.589)
Eh...

Kristin (36:43.048)
me, would you say deeper connection or elongated connection maybe? And I'm also curious, like maybe an example or two of what the aftercare looks like.

Cyrus (36:47.794)
Mm.

Cyrus (36:57.648)
Yeah, so just in general, in general aftercare is...

Kristin (37:00.162)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (37:07.784)
Yeah, your body goes through an experience, right? Through the Shabari and...

Cyrus (37:15.76)
Yeah, with that heightened sensory experience.

rather than just leave the person wide open, you know? There's a coming back to yourself.

Cyrus (37:37.229)
Again, I'll use the word co-regulation and or regulation where you could bring somebody through this experience, through this arc. And if you were to just let them alone afterwards, they could just drop. And an experience that may have been amazing or life changing. Now there's like

Kristin (37:55.362)
Okay.

Cyrus (38:06.775)
almost a depression with it because your hormones drop like.

all of it so there's a support after going through an experience.

Kristin (38:18.626)
Mm.

Cyrus (38:24.089)
Yeah, to be held. Yeah, to be held, plain and simple. As your hormones and everything else comes back into regulation, maybe you might sleep, maybe, yeah.

Kristin (38:26.006)
Yeah, beautiful. Yeah.

Kristin (38:39.84)
Beautiful. No, am also kind do you have the dates for that? Exactly.

Cyrus (38:46.907)
Yes, January 16th to the 18th.

Kristin (38:50.562)
Cool. Mark your calendars. And I'm a little privy to your journey. And also you can always go back and listen to the first episode that Cyrus was on if you want to sample that or like dive deeper into more of his story. But I know you've been on like this wild ride of like transformation and exploration and trainings and all this thing, like adding all these cool.

Cyrus (38:53.871)
Yeah.

Kristin (39:19.616)
modalities and teachings into your tool belt. What are you gearing up for? What are you? Well, also, I do want to speak into, I wrote down this note and I don't want to let it slide. I think it's super dope because I think they're related. How you have a desire and you're following it and then you creating your own model of it. You're not really looking to see what others have done.

But you're creating something new in several aspects, whether it's this workshop. If you can't find what you're wanting or desiring, you're creating it. And then also your coaching program that's coming up. And then like the archetype quiz that I know that you created that we can expand on. So I just think that's super dope. And like what an awesome model to follow. If can't find what you're looking for, create it.

Cyrus (40:11.611)
Hmm, that sounds good.

Kristin (40:15.606)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (40:22.543)
Yeah, I guess just some of the things that are going on. I'll be finishing up the field facilitated training in a few weeks. That was a 12 month long facilitator program connected to being trauma informed. A lot about titration. know, people go to a thing to heal and to become better or to, you know, to...

Kristin (40:30.314)
Okay.

Okay.

Kristin (40:39.49)
you

Cyrus (40:51.437)
Stabilize and

If in our workshop we destabilize them, hopefully it's on purpose, and then to bring them back. Anyways, titration so that we don't make somebody has trauma, trying our best not to make it worse.

Kristin (40:59.639)
Yeah.

Kristin (41:06.656)
Mm.

Kristin (41:11.618)
Mm.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (41:17.315)
So we have a festival in the UK near Glastonbury called the Winter Gathering. So I'll be facilitating in a tripod within that festival.

Kristin (41:24.245)
cool, like Avalon.

Cyrus (41:35.051)
is the likelihood our workshop will be actually today in our messaging I think we'll call it the temple of surrender has come up. Yeah, so temple, temple, temple keeps coming up. Surrender keeps coming up. Yeah. I've definitely had to do a lot of that.

Kristin (41:45.696)
Ooh.

Kristin (41:52.482)
surrender.

Cyrus (42:02.968)
Yeah, life has been topping me. anyway, So yeah, that training is finishing up.

Kristin (42:03.148)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hahaha!

Kristin (42:10.37)
Same.

Cyrus (42:23.158)
What else did you mention? We're launching the Feral Fusion coaching program, which will be me and another coach, Leah Piper, who's been in the industry for 20 years within sacred sexuality.

Kristin (42:29.675)
Hmm?

Kristin (42:40.673)
Wow.

Cyrus (42:45.144)
Yeah, the potential client or participant, we've done some pilots. We'll have the benefit of having both the masculine and the feminine. You know, sometimes you have a coach and they like have the fair, like to have both kind of like power and vulnerability to have it both at the same time and sometimes within some of our calls.

Kristin (42:51.68)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (42:56.0)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (42:59.5)
That's me.

Kristin (43:04.16)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (43:07.681)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (43:14.68)
I've seen with Leah, like she'll have like a download almost of like the feminine.

Kristin (43:18.39)
Mmm.

Cyrus (43:22.004)
and the man will receive it and because of the position I'm in, I'm able to see it and kind of like translate it to the man because sometimes it might be the way the feminine is showing up in his life and it just comes through and we're able to like look at it. It has had an impact. We've also used the Pharaoh's soul archetype personality test.

Kristin (43:33.644)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (43:52.12)
within some of our sessions, has just like, yeah, Leah's been in it for 20 years and she's like, this is a powerful tool, you know?

Kristin (44:05.026)
Yeah, I know it's super dope. Tudos to you for creating it. And I took it. I'm a grounded nurturer primarily. Which is interesting because like when you were giving some of them, my intuition kind of like did a little tickle around grounded nurture. Maybe it's also like the language of it. But yeah, so, so cool. How...

Cyrus (44:07.116)
Eh.

Cyrus (44:11.968)
I am.

Kristin (44:30.44)
I guess I'm curious when the idea came for the quiz and then the following through of that. I would love to expand on what it's kind of like based on too or like factors that you consider to formulate someone's architect.

Cyrus (44:47.67)
Yeah, so it seems like they were like...

Yeah, I've been taking the quizzes and been going to workshops and it seems like each thing would give a piece and I wanted a more...

Cyrus (45:11.16)
and they use the word holistic, I always just think of like a hippie, like a wholesome, like a more rounded.

Kristin (45:18.397)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (45:22.028)
Picture.

Kristin (45:23.158)
Mm-hmm

Cyrus (45:24.65)
And even with some of the things that are out there, you'll take a test and you'll have this one thing and then you identify, I believe, possibly over identify with this one thing where there's more fluidity to it, right? Based on where you are in your life, based on the other person you're connecting with. Yeah, so with...

Kristin (45:33.943)
Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Kristin (45:42.626)
Mm-hmm. for sure.

Cyrus (45:53.246)
some of the stuff that's already out there connected to like the Jungian archetypes. I developed this

Cyrus (46:06.692)
relational personality quiz that results in 12 archetypes. I'm not gonna share them all here so you can take the test. And yeah, you figure out how in fact you find safety within connection.

Kristin (46:09.836)
So, yeah.

Kristin (46:16.352)
Yeah!

Kristin (46:31.894)
Mm.

Cyrus (46:35.062)
And again, the goal is to have more vibrant relationships, right? Because in part how I got here was my primary relationship wasn't as, yeah, there was something wrong and I didn't know how to fix it. Yeah, so as I've been out here and experiencing some of the tools and some of the things,

Kristin (46:41.388)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (46:53.748)
Yeah, like connected. yeah.

Kristin (47:01.761)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (47:02.996)
as I'm still learning about myself, this is how I'm creating. So yeah, so when you're in connection, what do you need to do or ask for to feel safe within that connection? How is it that you actually connect? And if you know this, you can either ask for it or...

Kristin (47:17.954)
Okay.

Kristin (47:24.736)
Yeah.

Cyrus (47:31.736)
when you're sorting through possible mates, know, like you already know. So safety and connection, how do you actually connect? Yeah, how do you get aroused?

Kristin (47:37.248)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (47:48.598)
Mm-hmm

Cyrus (47:51.458)
Yeah, a lot of these things happen by accident. And for some of us, some of the things that arouse us can be troublesome, right? So then it becomes a quote unquote toxic thing. But when you're aware of it and conscious of it, can choose it. none of the things through the quiz is to find out something to be ashamed of. It's like,

that's how I connect. So let me be deliberate about it, you know? And then the last factor, main factor is passion. How do you turn up or how do you turn down the volume of passion in the connection? You know, there's many people that are in maybe long-term relationships where the passion has subsided. And so...

Kristin (48:22.988)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (48:27.188)
Hmm? Mm-hmm.

Kristin (48:34.826)
Mmm.

Kristin (48:38.818)
Mm.

Cyrus (48:50.357)
Again, throwing out good or bad, what about you can make you more passionate about a situation or a person or not? Or maybe there's too much passion where it's like, you know, you're in this push and pull relationship and you guys fight and then you have sex and then like, yeah.

Kristin (49:00.427)
Yeah.

Kristin (49:08.002)
you

Chaos.

Cyrus (49:14.901)
Okay, so it's like, it's like, okay, we need to turn the passion down a little bit so that we can function. Yeah. Yeah. So again, nothing is bad. there's no toxic, there's no like, I think an example that I had gave before is like, I'm gonna

Kristin (49:19.574)
Yeah, where was this in my early 20s?

Kristin (49:28.8)
Yeah.

Cyrus (49:39.445)
use something that adds out to that maybe top that may be viewed as toxic as first, right? Is say a guy may or there could be judgment against a woman that

Kristin (49:45.378)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (49:56.895)
Say they call her a gold digger. Right? Say they call her a gold digger. What else? So she likes to receive gifts.

Kristin (50:04.525)
I just like support guys. You singling me out?

haha

It shows me you're thinking about me when we work together.

Cyrus (50:20.221)
Yeah, she requires a lot of attention from you to know that you're still in connection.

Cyrus (50:31.433)
Yeah, but for some strange reason to really turn up the passion or get her aroused.

Cyrus (50:41.897)
Yeah, she wants you to call her like a, you know, she probably wants you to call her like a gold digging slut or something like that in the bedroom, but out there today, you know, like she, she just, you give the gift out of, out of love and, and, and kindness. and.

Kristin (50:52.48)
Yes.

Cyrus (51:04.521)
with everybody conscious of it, it's, this is the way you show love to this woman. There's nothing, there's nothing wrong with it. And once you own all parts of it, it's like, okay, she requires to be taken care of. And if you're the type of man that can provide that, then you provide that. You know that throughout the day, she needs to hear from you.

Kristin (51:09.697)
Right here.

Kristin (51:18.114)
Mmm.

Kristin (51:27.862)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (51:33.877)
So instead of calling that some type of bad thing on how she attaches, it's just the way that she needs to be loved. And then it becomes more stable if you give it to her. And then she needs to be humiliated at night, you know, to be turned on. And so you give that to her and it becomes maybe one of the...

Kristin (51:34.178)
Hmm

Kristin (51:40.662)
Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (52:01.045)
strongest relationships these people ever had, if they're unaware and believe in good and bad, then it's just toxic.

Kristin (52:03.68)
no.

Cyrus (52:13.397)
dang, she's taking advantage of me and da da da da. And then he probably gets mad at her and calls her these things at night anyways, like, know what, but it's it's conscious.

Kristin (52:13.76)
Yeah.

Kristin (52:23.063)
Yeah, all the intentionality behind it. It's like one, I'm calling you these things to nurture you or to support our relationship. And the other one is like, I'm calling you these things to cut you down or make you feel bad or something like that. It sounds like it's an awesome way to step out of judgment and embrace all parts of oneself. Sounds like it also offers a lot of clarity and expansion, possibly for...

relationships. That's cool.

Cyrus (52:57.267)
So it's all good. It's all good once we have awareness. this quiz helps Leah and I coach clients because it gives us these factors and it's like,

Kristin (53:00.96)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I'm here.

Kristin (53:11.201)
Yeah.

Cyrus (53:17.819)
Yeah, if we go out into the normal world and humiliation is supposed to be a bad thing. And again, I'm not saying everybody has humiliation in their archetype. It's just this is the one I'm on right now.

Kristin (53:27.458)
Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Cyrus (53:33.523)
And if and when they're able to embrace this is probably one of the deepest relationships they've ever been in, know, deepest connections they've ever been in. And it's a way to help people. We have so many ways to be ashamed of everything. Yeah.

Kristin (53:52.602)
yeah. I mean, it's been like such a taboo topic for so long, right? Our sexuality, right? Our aspects. And so it's like, how can we release that step out of judgment? Become more whole.

Cyrus (53:59.293)
Mmm.

Kristin (54:12.458)
I I love what you're doing dude. Is the quiz, where can they find the quiz? Where can they find information on like the coaching container?

Cyrus (54:23.11)
Yeah, the quiz right now is given exclusively to clients. Eventually, we'll post it on the website.

Kristin (54:29.536)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (54:40.306)
which will be on the link below. Forget the name of my stuff. I want to say it's CyrusWild.com, but yeah. Yeah. You'll see the link in the show notes. Yeah.

Kristin (54:43.231)
You're good.

I'm going to

Kristin (54:55.956)
Okay, vote to self. And my VA. Link, show notes. Beautiful.

Cyrus (55:09.03)
Yeah, so right now it's part of the coaching container. Eventually it'll be shared more widely. Yeah,

Kristin (55:19.016)
Mm-hmm. Wildly. Yeah. Wildly and widely. Beautiful.

Cyrus (55:31.811)
And as people get curious, they take it and they want to dive in deeper. Yeah, they'll be able to reach out to either just myself or jump into the Feral Fusion program, which we launched.

Kristin (55:37.259)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (55:45.642)
And that just for clarity or distinction, is that a, okay, there's the two of y'all and then one person joins the two of y'all or is it like a group container with the individual like sessions or spotlights? How does that work? Or is it still like unfolding?

Cyrus (56:00.913)
It's a two on one. It's a triad.

Kristin (56:04.66)
Okay.

Kristin (56:08.887)
Well, I love that it's like a balanced perspective too. It offers multiple like language or resonance points or like possibilities, lenses to look things at or look through.

Cyrus (56:26.013)
So through the coaching sessions, we'll potentially get to go through the four things that I mentioned with the arousal, the connection, safety and connection, the passion. Also, sometimes women will approach me. I'm just talking about me in particular, about their femininity. And again, where everything is in so much flux right now.

Kristin (56:26.338)
I can't anything.

Kristin (56:32.77)
Cyrus (56:56.145)
being feminine, a masculine, a man, a woman, especially women who have been successful in some way, almost want to get a gauge on their femininity. Sometimes they don't feel, sometimes they have feelings around it. And so I've worked with a couple of women individually based on that, but within the Feral Fusion.

Kristin (57:06.262)
Mm.

Kristin (57:10.59)
Okay.

Kristin (57:14.529)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (57:26.449)
you'll be able to get the lens of both.

Kristin (57:30.412)
Mm-hmm.

Cyrus (57:32.666)
Yeah, so those four things, masculine, feminine, and in essence, it's all about power and vulnerability.

Cyrus (57:46.544)
Yeah, just as random point like.

Kristin (57:46.914)
you.

Kristin (57:52.694)
And there's so much power in vulnerability. I need to surrender more.

Cyrus (57:54.096)
Often the person who surrenders has the most power, right?

Cyrus (58:05.42)
ultimately is the bottom. It's the bottom that chooses. Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (58:09.214)
Yeah. Yeah. Come to this workshop. Beautiful. Is there anything else that you want to add?

Cyrus (58:14.148)
Yeah

Cyrus (58:22.082)
I feel like we've covered most of it.

Kristin (58:25.57)
I love it.

Kristin (58:30.113)
Cool. Check them out. Cyruswild.com. Cyruswild on Instagram, right? It'll be in the notes too. Okay. Okay.

Cyrus (58:36.73)
Yep, Cyrus Wild. Yeah, Cyrus Wild underscore on Instagram. Come sign up for Soul Tides in Costa Rica. Come sign up for Feral Fusion. Come January, February.

Kristin (58:48.564)
Yes, love Costa Rica. One of my favorite places. Ooh, maybe I'll make a two-fer. Maybe I make this a tax write-off. Come to Costa Rica, rope out if I want to do a riding workshop there, and get tied up and tie people up. Explore Shabari. Cool. I'm going to stop this now, but it's not letting me. So I don't know what that means.

Cyrus (59:05.399)
Beautiful.

Kristin (59:18.866)
End session for all.