59. Lessons in Love: Motherhood, Boundaries, and Self-Worth with Talia Schneiderman Artwork

Sex, Drugs, & Soul

Hey there! I’m Kristin Birdwell, and welcome to the Sex, Drugs, & Soul podcast! I’m an author, seeker, and mystic exploring where the sacred meets the everyday. For years, I thought my spiritual journey had to be separate from my human experiences, but what I’ve learned is that true growth happens when we embrace both.

This podcast is a space where I bring you along on that journey. Whether I’m flying solo or chatting with fellow seekers, self-healers, and sensual explorers, we’ll dive into the sweet spot where spirituality, sexuality, and self-expression meet. It’s all about living fully, embracing every part of who we are, and having some fun along the way.

If you’re ready to explore, expand, and embrace all that you are, come on this adventure with me. I can’t wait to share this with you!

All Episodes

Sex, Drugs, & Soul

59. Lessons in Love: Motherhood, Boundaries, and Self-Worth with Talia Schneiderman

December 02, 2024 • Kristin Birdwell • Season 2 • Episode 16

In Episode 59, Kristin and Talia Schneiderman explore the multifaceted journey of motherhood, personal growth, and the complexities of love and loss. Talia opens up about her transition from a business partnership to establishing her personal brand, Talia Talks, and the power of storytelling.

The conversation touches on the emotional challenges of grief, the joys of parenting, and the importance of authenticity in sharing our stories. Talia also reflects on her journey through loss, and healing, offering profound insights into self-worth, boundaries, and the transformative power of personal growth.

Key Takeaways

Community can provide essential support during tough times.
Grief can manifest in various forms, including the loss of relationships.
Starting a personal brand can be a transformative experience.
Authenticity resonates deeply with audiences.

Jump to the mic drop moments...

(0:00) Intro & The Birth of Talia Talks
(0:11) The Birth of Talia Talks
(8:11) The Evolution of Parenting
(13:50) The Complexity of Love in Motherhood
(28:36) The Healing Power of Acting Classes
(50:59) Writing as a Therapeutic Journey

Connect with Talia
Instagram

Do you want to reset, expand, and feel more alive? Learn more about Naba and the community detox journey here.

Talia Schneiderman (00:00.45)
dog sitting.

Kristin (00:01.865)
No, no, no, I'm officially a dog mom. Yeah, and I totally want to expand on motherhood with you. Because I used to think and I've said this once before, I think on here, but I used to think that sometimes when people would say like, I'm a dog mom, I would kind of roll my eyes a little bit or just like dismiss it or just not. I don't know. I was like, you know, it's not a human. But then after having him for like

Talia Schneiderman (00:05.512)
my gosh.

Talia Schneiderman (00:21.389)
Yeah.

Kristin (00:29.294)
a couple of days, it's like, my God, I take it all back. It's so much work. You're a dog mom. I'm a dog mom.

Talia Schneiderman (00:34.38)
The dog mon title is real. Like that is a real full-fledged thing. I also have a dog and I've had dogs, so I get that. my gosh, so what made you get a dog?

Kristin (00:36.63)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristin (00:43.405)
Yeah. Well, he was actually a gift. And so, yeah, I'm so I'm like a gift from God, honestly, but my neighbor got him for me. And I've been having a lot of anxiety. So I guess like companionship too. And it's been beautiful. And then I looked up his name, like I had wanted to name him Boudreaux as like a nod to my dad. He had a couple of dogs growing up named Boudreaux. And since he's a Frenchie, I was like, well, the row on it kind of feels like it vibes. And then

Talia Schneiderman (01:11.501)
Yeah.

Kristin (01:13.281)
Yeah, and then I looked up what it means. It means messenger army. And so I think that's cool since I'm like, you know, writing stuff that he's like part of the messenger army.

Talia Schneiderman (01:16.586)
Aww.

Talia Schneiderman (01:21.398)
Yeah, but wait, can we go back to your neighbor gifting you a dog? I want a neighbor that gives me gifts.

Kristin (01:25.697)
Yeah.

Kristin (01:32.705)
He's so sweet. He's giving me a dog. I a necklace He's so sweet if you listen to this Travis. Thank you He's so sweet yeah, and I also think it's like a symbiotic relationship I think that you he lost his wife to cancer a couple of years ago and We both like really you know this is my first time I've ever lived in an apartment complex where I actually know some of my neighbors

Talia Schneiderman (01:51.886)
my gosh.

Talia Schneiderman (01:59.352)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (01:59.665)
And there's like that community or sense of interaction. And so think we both needed that too. And so it's been beautiful. And I was like looking into or thinking about maybe grief or dying type of doula, you know? And so then I had like an acupuncture session with this healer woman and I kind of had the epiphany like, I'm kind of doing this in a way already. so I think I'm going to take a workshop on it for sure.

Talia Schneiderman (02:04.173)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (02:25.25)
Wait, so you're gonna do that?

Kristin (02:28.865)
Just to like expand, maybe put some things in the tool belt. But, mm.

Talia Schneiderman (02:33.282)
My cousin is a chaplain and she would be a really great person for you to talk to. And she also wrote a book on surviving cancer. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Kristin (02:39.845)
cool, please.

Kristin (02:46.475)
Wow, okay, wow. No, I definitely love to talk to her. I am what's her book called?

Talia Schneiderman (02:52.878)
I need to look it up. it's... shoot.

Kristin (02:57.837)
I'm just saying that because I'm helping someone write their book about cancer. Yeah, sure.

Talia Schneiderman (03:02.03)
Should I look it up real quick? Okay, I should, I feel like I should know this off the top of my head and I just don't. Yeah, it totally was a brain fart.

Kristin (03:10.037)
I blank sometimes. There's so many. I'll blank on the author and I'm like, no, I'm a... I'm like, no.

Talia Schneiderman (03:16.942)
I mean, this is my cousin, like I should know the name of her book and now my internet is slow. Of course.

Kristin (03:23.593)
But if I were to poll my cousins, I don't know if they would all know the title of my book.

Talia Schneiderman (03:31.63)
I read it. Well, I read her book and I read your book. Actually, no, I listened to your book.

Kristin (03:37.042)
yeah. yeah. And I just want to throw this in here.

Talia Schneiderman (03:40.664)
Kristen!

Kristin (03:46.35)
Yeah, it's start, yeah, there's a lot.

Talia Schneiderman (03:48.104)
Whoa. Yeah. okay. Healing. So this is my cousin's book. Her name is Keeneret Sherman and her book is Healing the Deepest Wounds, Life-Giving Lessons from My Journey with Rectal Cancer, Stage 2-3. Yeah. And so that's like what the cover of her book looks like. And I mean, there are so many

Kristin (03:54.604)
Yeah.

Kristin (03:57.997)
Cool.

Kristin (04:02.017)
Ooh.

Kristin (04:06.965)
Wow.

Kristin (04:13.659)
on.

Talia Schneiderman (04:17.43)
You have to talk to her. You're going to connect with her on so many different ways because she's very spiritual. She knows how to help people die. And if that's something that you're exploring, it might be interesting.

Kristin (04:24.299)
love to.

Yeah.

Kristin (04:31.649)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I think there's a balance between like the living, you know, living and living and dying. And I, you know, in some ways it's like I help people write their old to live their new and then dying. I don't know. And if we can greet death. I also had interesting experiences with death, like with my dad, that I have like a firm just like knowingness or belief in life after death or just like it's a transference type of thing. So if I could help people, that'd be beautiful. But backstory.

I meant to drop this in. Well, I love like casual and flowy and laid back. I, but Talia and I met like 10 years ago in acting class. She was my teacher.

Talia Schneiderman (05:03.374)
I'm like, can we just start talking right now?

Kristin (05:19.637)
And it was such a profound acting, I'm not saying acting class, but I feel like also it just helps and equip you with a set of life skills to read people's behavior or to understand people and psychology on a different level. Yeah, and so that was a very pivotal time in my life. I loved having you in it. And a lot has transpired since 10 years ago. So was like, we need to chat.

Talia Schneiderman (05:33.239)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (05:43.662)
think it was more than 10 years ago. I even... I don't think I was even married yet.

Kristin (05:49.37)
No, I remember when you got engaged because you brought it you came in and you're like And it felt like it felt like one of the scenes we would prepare in some ways

Talia Schneiderman (05:51.744)
Yeah Yeah

Yeah!

Talia Schneiderman (06:01.39)
Right? Yeah, so we got engaged 2014. so 10 years ago. Okay, there we go. Okay, 2024, yeah.

Kristin (06:05.805)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I can't remember if I started in 2013 or 2014. I know I finished in 2014. And so at least the first year. So I it was definitely like a decade or more ago.

Talia Schneiderman (06:15.341)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (06:22.734)
Yeah, can I ask you a self-conscious question right now and you can leave this in or take it out for the authenticity? I am like looking at my makeup and I'm like, my God, do I just look fake right now?

Kristin (06:27.595)
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Kristin (06:35.915)
Not that I see, but right now I don't know if my thing is buffering, but it's just blurry. But I know later on, it always usually transpires. It just kind of records at a lower setting when it uploads.

Talia Schneiderman (06:47.854)
Okay, because I'm looking at my face and I'm like, that doesn't look like me right now. Like, ugh.

Kristin (06:52.863)
Yeah, sometimes I hide my face, but I forgot how to do that.

Talia Schneiderman (06:57.134)
But it's fine, right? It's fine. Is the lighting okay?

Kristin (06:58.475)
Yeah, it looks fine to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it looks good to me. We'll see on the other side. Yeah, well, you know, speaking to authenticity, you've recently embarked on like a journey that I think is super dope and it's kind of like what spurred a reconnection or rekindling or reaching out like your Talia talks. Do you want to share any of that now or later or?

Talia Schneiderman (07:04.567)
Okay, cool. All right, let's go. Okay, anyway, moving on.

Kristin (07:27.165)
kind of what it is. I love it that you're taking people on the journey of. That's what I love. And like being authentic. So yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (07:27.278)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Talia Schneiderman (07:34.552)
Thank you. Yeah, I feel like maybe as time goes on, I won't feel like I have to preface it with what happened prior. And I actually haven't talked about this too publicly yet, so I'm gonna be careful with my words just to like protect the privacy of folks. But I founded a company two years ago that was different and...

Kristin (07:44.65)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (07:52.918)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (08:00.862)
due to circumstances that were not in my control, I had a major falling out with my business partner. So this thing that I thought was the thing, like my life's work, that I worked so hard to build and grow and nurture that I was so passionate about, was literally not mine anymore. Like overnight. And that was really...

Kristin (08:12.192)
Okay.

Kristin (08:22.221)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (08:27.98)
devastating and difficult and challenging and.

Kristin (08:30.721)
Yeah, like speaking of grief, there's something to grieve too.

Talia Schneiderman (08:35.054)
Yeah, and honestly, I'm still mad. You know, I'm still kind of haven't completely digested those feelings yet. I don't want to.

Kristin (08:38.187)
Yeah.

Kristin (08:46.765)
I think it's okay to be mad for a little bit. I'd probably be a little angry. I'd feel all the things. Sad, betrayed, angry.

Talia Schneiderman (08:50.632)
Yeah, I think... Okay, I think what you said...

I think what you said is very important, that it's okay to be mad.

Kristin (09:01.517)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I think there's so much conditioning too around women like not about not feeling anger or An expectation on us like that's not a good girl emotion

Talia Schneiderman (09:07.914)
Exactly.

Talia Schneiderman (09:12.654)
Right, and it doesn't feel good, you know? So like avoid it or try to move past it. But, so I really appreciate you saying that, because it was just a really good reminder for me to be like, you know, it's okay to be pissed.

Kristin (09:28.075)
Yeah, yeah, it's fresh.

Talia Schneiderman (09:30.43)
Yeah, super fresh. So that happened and then I guess things happen for a reason, right? Like literally a week later, somebody reached out to me about supporting me and starting my own personal brand. And I was like, my own personal brand? Like, what's that? Like I've never tried to have a personal brand before. I've always had businesses, but not just me.

Kristin (09:38.573)
Mm.

Kristin (09:45.923)
cool.

Talia Schneiderman (09:57.344)
And so from there, I was like, okay, well, what is this brand? What do I stand for? What is important to me? And what's important to me is being authentic, being relatable, sharing things that maybe people don't share, be inspiring and motivating with like a little bit of humor. And I was like, I'm basically storytelling. Like I'm basically sharing behind the scenes stories of my life.

Kristin (10:04.812)
Mm-mm.

Kristin (10:22.732)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (10:26.956)
And then I'm pairing that with sharing behind the scenes stories of businesses and brands and artists to help their audience connect with the person behind the brand, the person behind the business. And so the overarching theme of that, which is the name of my new brand is called Talia Talks. So that's what it is. I'm a business storyteller, mom, content creator.

Kristin (10:40.993)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (10:55.498)
obsessed with lifting people up and really passionate about being real and transparent and not perfect, even though that's hard to say. But yeah.

Kristin (11:08.39)
Yeah. Yeah. I sometimes I fall into it like, or like the perfectionism thing. Like, I want this, you know, when I first started my podcast for sure, I was like taking out so many different podcasts. Now I'm like, no, I want it raw and vulnerable and authentic. Which actually I was chatting with someone the other day and we were talking about how authenticity is like the highest frequency. And then to me, because that's truth. And to me, that truth resonates with people. So that's really cool.

Talia Schneiderman (11:25.741)
Yeah.

Kristin (11:36.301)
I think it's also super dope and indicative of like all our background and like steps lead us to where we need to be. Cause like you have that big storytelling background and then now you're like just taking on the storytelling in a different manner. And so it's cool and like the community aspect too. So it's like.

Talia Schneiderman (11:42.488)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (11:48.611)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (11:52.494)
Thank you.

Kristin (11:53.343)
Yeah, I had someone on like last week or the week before and she's like, you know, sometimes God closes a door and we focus so much on the door close that we forget that there's another one opening or coming or opened.

Talia Schneiderman (12:09.228)
Yeah, and when you're in it, it's really hard to see it. Like, it's really hard to see the opportunity, like what's next. And it's also hard to see, like, why did this happen? Like, where is the lesson here? What, like, and you're trying to connect the dots in real time as you're going through it. And sometimes you just need a little bit of distance from the thing that happened to be like, okay. And you're like, I see.

Kristin (12:12.309)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (12:21.995)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Kristin (12:37.837)
sure. I mean like there's been so many times in my life where I'm like maybe you know at my knees or something or just like so frustrated where I'm like okay I know that there's a takeaway or lesson here or something but I can't see it right now. I trust that there is. I trust that it's working out for my good. At the same time doesn't mean it's not frustrating or... and that change. It's exciting.

Talia Schneiderman (12:50.41)
Exactly. I know.

Talia Schneiderman (12:57.228)
and hard and like uncomfortable.

Talia Schneiderman (13:03.243)
Okay.

Kristin (13:06.029)
So man, yeah, okay, so 10 years ago, I think I left, moved back to Texas in 2014 or 15, as you read. And then, okay, so you got engaged and then you had your first baby.

Talia Schneiderman (13:22.029)
Yeah, we, met my husband. It all happened really fast. Like I met him a little bit older. Like I really needed to get some wiggles out of my system.

Kristin (13:31.297)
Good to hear.

Talia Schneiderman (13:34.35)
I needed to get some wiggles out of my system before committing to someone for life. And I know there's all different kinds of way people do partnerships and marriages, but for me, marriage and monogamy is what I wanted and value in, but I had a hard time being with someone longer than six months. I'd get bored and move on. And it was fun for me to meet new people. I liked dating a lot.

Kristin (13:40.727)
Yeah.

Kristin (13:55.445)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (14:02.935)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (14:03.31)
a lot and I was good at it. But anyway, so I met my husband when I was 29. So 2013, we literally got engaged the next year, got married 2015 the following year. And then I was pregnant 2016 and had my daughter 2017.

Kristin (14:06.011)
Kristin (14:20.194)
No.

Talia Schneiderman (14:24.076)
And then, yeah, and then had my son 2019. So it was really like boom, boom, boom, boom.

Kristin (14:30.381)
Yeah, you know, well, give a lot of the other hood is like one of the hardest jobs and like that moms don't always get a lot of the credit. Or maybe it's like, you know, I would love to expand on like some challenges maybe within motherhood or.

Takeaways or lessons. I know for me like even just becoming a puppy mom like a month ago Like I noticed I was like wow, this is like such a big spiritual lesson and initiation and release of control I was on someone else's timeline. I

noticed that like there was a sense of me losing myself and in him too or like my schedule and I was like, shit, like where do I do? Do do this in other relationships too?

Talia Schneiderman (15:13.215)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (15:19.05)
Yeah, it's the most surreal thing, becoming a parent. It's very, very weird. It like literally changes you from the inside out. It changes your brain chemistry. It changes you hormonally. It changes your body. You literally conceived and grew and birthed a human being.

Talia Schneiderman (15:49.622)
It's just wild, it's so wild. And the thing is like, yes, you're tired and everyone tells you you're tired, but give me a newborn all day long. You don't have to parent a newborn. You just keep it alive. Do you know what I'm saying? Like you don't have to deal with complicated emotions. You don't have to deal with like issues. You don't have to deal with anything.

Kristin (15:50.454)
You

Kristin (16:04.555)
Mmmmm

Kristin (16:13.825)
mmmm

Talia Schneiderman (16:18.498)
You literally, your job is to just like keep it alive, which is a huge responsibility. Like don't get me wrong and you're gonna be tired and it's gonna be hard and your boobs are gonna hurt if you choose to breastfeed and your body is gonna be like out of whack. And you may not even like love the baby at first. Like you're like, I'm supposed to love you, but I don't even know you yet. So there's this weird like getting to know you and bonding thing that happens, but.

Kristin (16:32.621)
Damn.

Kristin (16:45.844)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (16:47.49)
Like I said, newborns, you just keep them alive. And I know that sounds kind of like harsh, but it's true.

Kristin (16:51.798)
Yeah.

Kristin (16:55.277)
It's actually true. No, I see it. I'm like, you don't have, they're not talking yet, at least verbally.

Talia Schneiderman (16:57.134)
Yeah, you're not talking back. have complete, like, I don't have control over everything, but because like the baby is gonna cry, the baby is gonna wake up, but the baby doesn't have a say in anything yet. And then I will never forget the moment that my daughter had a...

Kristin (17:07.755)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (17:14.775)
Mm-hmm

Talia Schneiderman (17:22.434)
different kind of feeling. Because when babies are babies, they're sad, they're hungry, they're mad, they're happy, they're tired, and that's kind of it. You know what I'm saying? Like there aren't complex emotions and you usually know why they're crying. It's like they either pooped themselves or they're hungry or their tummy is bothering them or something. So my daughter was like maybe two years old, almost two. And for the first time I was like,

Kristin (17:24.759)
Mmm.

Kristin (17:34.401)
Yeah.

Kristin (17:44.045)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (17:53.622)
a different feeling came out and it was embarrassment. She was embarrassed by something. Like, so that's like bit of self-consciousness, like noticing herself, notice. And I was like, shit, how I respond to this might fuck her up. Like I need to like parent this moment. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, like, like taking care of a-

Kristin (17:56.267)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Kristin (18:08.489)
Interesting.

Kristin (18:14.424)
Yeah, do We're doing it with a level of awareness, you know, like I don't want to be like this is gonna insight trauma or be a wound later on

Talia Schneiderman (18:24.096)
Exactly, so I was like, shit, how do I navigate through this? And then as my kids have gotten older, like it just becomes more and more complicated. And no one told me that. Everyone tells you you're gonna be tired, blah, blah, true. But no one told me that the older they get, even though some things get easier because they become more independent, but the parenting game is really hard.

Kristin (18:28.631)
Mmm.

Kristin (18:54.007)
Yeah. so, and how many years? Yeah. Okay, wow.

Talia Schneiderman (18:54.178)
really hard.

So now, now my daughter is seven and a half and my son is five and a half. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. So she was born, yeah, she was born and then she turned two in April and then he was born in May. So I literally had two babies at home and you know, but did it, dealt with it, handled it and then COVID hit.

Kristin (19:03.934)
wow. So just as one's coming out, another... Bring the boat.

Kristin (19:17.378)
Wow.

Talia Schneiderman (19:27.938)
And I was like, I'm home with two little children and the world is shutting down. And then we moved to Ventura. And so I put all my energy, like moving was my project, like selling our house and getting this house and remodeling and doing all that became my focus. And then, yeah, they've just gotten older. And also I need to say this, that I thought that, so my daughter was a very easy baby.

Kristin (19:28.417)
Mmm.

Kristin (19:42.189)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (19:56.696)
Like she was very by the book. Like if I needed to teach her how to sleep, I would read a book about sleep training, I would apply it, and she would do it. Potty training, read the book on potty training, followed the steps, she did it. And that's, she's very by the book. And I was like, I got this parenting thing down, and then my son doesn't give a fuck. Like nothing worked at all. He is not by the book.

Kristin (19:57.197)
Thank

Kristin (20:06.413)
Mmm.

Kristin (20:15.692)
Yeah.

Kristin (20:22.592)
man.

Talia Schneiderman (20:24.012)
Everything I did with her, I tried with him and he was like, nope, doesn't work for me. I cannot, I mean, people will say how different their kids are, but I mean, it's crazy how different they are. Wild. Anyway.

Kristin (20:29.229)
and

Kristin (20:34.861)
from the jump. Wow. Now that's interesting. It's like you kind of might maybe think you know what to expect and then you're thrown for a loop.

Talia Schneiderman (20:41.432)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (20:46.154)
Yeah, it was like I had never mom-ed before having him. I was like, I've done this already, okay. No, it was like the first time all over again because it was totally different. Like he just required different things and he still does.

Kristin (20:49.077)
Yeah.

Kristin (20:59.885)
Mm hmm. Well, and I think it's, you mentioned to like a little like growing the love and the bond and like, did you have like, I know a couple of my friends have experienced postpartum, would you say that that's part of like, that growing the bond type of thing? Or

Talia Schneiderman (21:18.798)
You know, I was very lucky in that I did not experience postpartum depression. I didn't. And I know that that's a very, very real thing and women go through that and it's hard. It's really hard. For me, this is gonna sound weird. I loved my son more earlier.

Kristin (21:25.035)
Okay, yeah.

Kristin (21:31.094)
Yeah.

Kristin (21:35.596)
Yeah.

Kristin (21:41.847)
Bring it. I like weird.

Talia Schneiderman (21:48.078)
than I did my daughter. Like, it took me a while to like grow the love with my daughter. And I think it's because I didn't know the love of being a mom yet. Like it was totally brand new. And then with my son, I already knew that love, like what a mom has with her child. And so I had that sooner with him.

Kristin (22:01.484)
Mmm.

Talia Schneiderman (22:16.813)
Yeah.

Kristin (22:17.758)
Well, I feel like the timing of it too, it's like, like grief is coming up again too. It's like a dying of, you know, our transition period from, pre-mom, Taya, then mom, Taya, you know? So feel like there's definitely like, you're not only getting used to being a mom, but you're also like saying goodbye to a certain part of yourself to welcome in this new beautiful thing.

Talia Schneiderman (22:37.346)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (22:39.553)
But it's all it is like, you're like navigating that at the same time as becoming a mom, whereas like, yeah, you already had like the mom thing like locked in before. me find him a toy.

Talia Schneiderman (22:46.958)
Yeah, yeah, and you actually don't realize that it's happening when you're in it, that you're going to change so profoundly as a person. Because when your kids are little, like really little, they become everything, like they rule all of them. And you said it a little bit with the puppy and with a baby, it's the same thing where you are in it.

Kristin (22:53.004)
Yeah.

Kristin (23:09.261)
You

Talia Schneiderman (23:14.53)
They are your priority. You don't even have to think about it. For me, it was totally innate. And so I became, and they're feeding off of you too. So you're like, I am a part of this baby. This is my job right now. Who I was before totally went away. But I wasn't even aware of it until when the baby becomes a little bit older, like two.

Kristin (23:26.7)
Yeah.

Kristin (23:40.535)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (23:40.878)
and they don't need you as much. They're getting a little bit more independence. And then it's like, wait, who am I? What just happened to me? And so there is a rediscovery of self after having a child, or at least it was for me. And then it happened again with the seconds and it was totally different. Yeah, and I feel like, and my youngest is five and I feel like I'm still.

Kristin (23:56.854)
Mmm.

Talia Schneiderman (24:10.222)
like trying to get back to myself and learning myself again and rediscovering who I am now. And I'm 40. That's weird.

Kristin (24:18.623)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, in some ways we can always do that, right? Because we're always changing, I think. like maybe, I don't know, like does my, someone, I'm trying to get back to a piece of me, like does she even exist anymore? You know? And like, we're giving ourselves permission to change or evolve too. Like I know what I wanted now is not what I wanted at certain points in my life. Like even speaking to like monogamy or partnerships.

Talia Schneiderman (24:35.488)
Yeah, yeah.

Kristin (24:47.292)
I toyed with the idea. like, have a lot of love in my heart to give. Am I polyamorous? Then I looked at it a little further and I'm like, no, actually, I just think I have commitment issues. Or I was scared of getting hurt, you know? And so that has shifted over time. Or maybe I'm monogamy or monogamish. I don't know. Right now know I'm single AF with my pup.

Talia Schneiderman (24:59.722)
Yeah. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (25:11.412)
It's, yeah, know, polyamorous, that's the word.

Kristin (25:16.294)
Mm-hmm, I guess so.

Talia Schneiderman (25:19.662)
I also have a lot of love to give and I'm also a very flirty, friendly person. And I was like, could I be in an open relationship? But then it goes both ways. Like it can't just be you. And then I imagined my husband like being open and I was like, absolutely not, no way. No fucking way. Like I was not okay with that at all. And then like, here's the other thing about me.

Kristin (25:21.43)
Yeah.

Kristin (25:35.083)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (25:41.528)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (25:48.866)
The thought is more exciting than the actual doing.

Kristin (25:54.177)
Mmm. Yes. Yeah. Like it can be an awesome fantasy.

Talia Schneiderman (25:58.702)
Yes, yes, or even like, I don't know, sex to me is like so, like it's so special and like to just, I don't know, I wouldn't want to just like let anyone inside me.

Kristin (26:06.955)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (26:13.781)
Yeah, yeah, I know. feel like I've gained more reverence and consider it more sacred now versus like in my youth. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm like, is special. It is a damn privilege. It's fine. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (26:22.104)
Same. Same.

Talia Schneiderman (26:28.936)
Yes! Yes, I mean, that's like... Yeah, those are like bodies coming together.

Kristin (26:36.429)
I don't, you know, to me it's like a mix of energies too. And so it's like, I don't want to mix this with anybody's energy. You know, a little bit more discerning about who's all up in my hootenanny is one cause that I love. I'm like,

Talia Schneiderman (26:41.726)
Right? Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (26:53.07)
my gosh. can't even imagine having sex with someone else. I can't. I like don't

Maybe that's boring, but I

Kristin (27:04.447)
I don't know if it's boring, just you. And then, I was thinking about something. It kind of reminded me though of my friend who had gone, like he was a heavy drinker for a long time. And then he went sober and he's like, I had to relearn. He's like, did you know like sober sex is a thing? And I just remember like hearing that story and just being like, that's interesting. I never looked at your lens.

Talia Schneiderman (27:33.526)
curious about that.

Kristin (27:35.341)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, or because I guess he had been always been inebriated or some kind of like level of intoxication, maybe not drunk, but maybe had like, you know, a little let loose with the alcohol. And then but yeah, had to relearn sex in sobriety.

Talia Schneiderman (27:36.556)
It's like relearn how to do it.

Talia Schneiderman (27:47.767)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (27:52.76)
Wow.

Kristin (27:53.517)
I haven't talked to him in a long time, but I just remember that clearly standing out to him. I'm I could see where that would make if you're only on one side. Yeah, it's like riding a new bike. You gotta get new skills. wait. Say it.

Talia Schneiderman (28:04.254)
Yeah, I was gonna say something.

Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing. It's like learning to walk again. It's like if you're, you know? Or it's like dancing. Like I think a lot of people can't dance unless they're drunk.

Kristin (28:20.107)
I used to feel that way. For sure.

Talia Schneiderman (28:21.782)
Yeah, I never felt that way. I'm a dancer, dancing is my love language, I'm a mover. But I know a lot of people, like my husband, for example, like he's not a mover. But if he has like a couple drinks, he'll like get in the groove in his like white boy type of way.

Kristin (28:26.123)
beautiful.

Kristin (28:32.525)
you

Talia Schneiderman (28:43.15)
So, I mean, but he, yeah, he's just kind of like, yeah, exactly, exactly. And he's kind of like raising the roof a little bit and like, okay, okay.

Kristin (28:43.999)
Is that film? Is it film?

Kristin (28:50.079)
Yeah. I love that. I felt that way. No, a friend of mine got me a shirt one time that said I think I can dance. Because I'm like, I felt so uncoordinated and goofy that and then I've been, you know, told that there are multiple perspectives. I like, shit. Now I enjoy it and like can get out of my head more. But I do want to different lessons. Like I

Talia Schneiderman (28:55.722)
Vanilla.

Kristin (29:15.405)
I started line dancing, but I also want to take more like, I just discovered this Zook thing that a friend of mine was telling me about. That looks cool. That looks cool. Or even just like some kind of other partner dancing. Ooh.

Talia Schneiderman (29:20.929)
that's really sexy.

Talia Schneiderman (29:27.448)
I danced salsa since I was 16 years old. Salsa, mambo, cha-cha. Not zuc, but bachata, which is like as a similar thing. Yeah, I fell in love with, I mean, I was competing and performing and like, it was a huge part of my life. Yeah. And now I dance a bit. A bit. I'm just too tired at night, huh?

Kristin (29:33.451)
Cool.

Kristin (29:41.633)
Now

Kristin (29:45.261)
I don't know if I knew that.

Yeah. Do you dance with your kids? Yeah. I like your kids dance y'all dance together.

Talia Schneiderman (29:54.222)
My daughter loves to dance. My son, he's like, my daughter is a natural born performer. She likes to be on stage. She likes to sing and dance and perform. And she doesn't say she likes to act, but she clearly likes to act. I can say, I'm like, girl, you're putting it on right now. I see you. And then my son is just a little more shy. He's kind of like, he doesn't want the attention in that way.

Kristin (30:13.956)
No!

Kristin (30:19.373)
cute

Kristin (30:23.778)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (30:23.95)
Nella really. By the way, her name is Nella and you're Nell and I was like how is that? It's so cute. Yeah.

Kristin (30:26.635)
I love that. I love that. I dropped his little toy. Pick it up. He's got actually, you know, he's 12 weeks today. Yeah, so he's doing everything. I made a video last night that I haven't posted yet, but it was funny. You know, it's that song. Every wait, what's the song? Let me see if I can find it real quick. Okay.

Talia Schneiderman (30:34.05)
We took out the puppy.

Talia Schneiderman (30:38.926)
oooo

Kristin (30:56.287)
Yeah. Okay. That one where it says every single day. He's chewing on something. was like, I've made it a text. was like, how often do you get into trouble for biting and chewing every single day? Because he dies. like, I'm like,

Talia Schneiderman (31:00.777)
Yeah, yeah

Talia Schneiderman (31:08.696)
That's so funny.

Talia Schneiderman (31:13.184)
I know, and those-

Boo-trah!

Kristin (31:17.823)
He's gonna be my little marketing god. think he's gonna like, I think he likes the camera. I'm I might need to get you an agent.

Talia Schneiderman (31:19.374)
Hi! he is. He totally is. Hello, buddy. Hello. Why are you so cute? Why is

Talia Schneiderman (31:30.264)
I mean, it looks like he's looking straight in it. Hi, hi. Are you gonna be in commercials? Yeah. I have a funny story about that song.

Kristin (31:36.609)
Let's earn some cable.

please tell it.

Talia Schneiderman (31:45.518)
I think I was 12. Okay. Can you see what your that song came out?

Kristin (31:47.922)
Talia Schneiderman (31:58.466)
my god, I can't believe I have to say this.

Kristin (32:04.13)
Ow. Don't bite me. Okay. Every single day. Was it? No. Okay. Wait. Song debut. Wait, who's singing? I don't know. Is it Sting?

Talia Schneiderman (32:16.236)
I have no idea.

Kristin (32:20.685)
I don't know. it stinging? No, the police. No. every single day stinging. Every breath you take? Okay, by the police. Okay, let me see here. 83. Okay.

Talia Schneiderman (32:23.223)
Okay.

Talia Schneiderman (32:27.361)
Yes.

What year? Okay, it's not gonna matter. I don't think it's gonna matter. Okay, it's not gonna matter, because I was, my God, I was 12. And I have a cousin who's four years older than me. And I was obsessed with all of his friends, like had crushes on every single one of them. And there was this one dude named Darnell. I haven't, I don't remember his last name, but I...

was in love with Darnell and Darnell totally was like playing games with me, but Do you know what Darnell did? he called the radio station and dedicated that song to me and I recorded it on a cassette tape on the radio I recorded it He told me he was gonna do it But I mean that was like his way of like kind of stringing me along to make me feel like he liked me

Kristin (33:13.857)
Ooh.

Talia Schneiderman (33:27.16)
But he did that. He followed through on that one. I was like, so that song will forever remind me of Darnell.

Kristin (33:31.149)
Wow. Dornel, where are at? really? You know, that's one of my favorite things to play two truths, one lie with. always like, is so and so how many exes I have in jail. Because it's at least three. But yeah, I think so. And so I always like, you know, exaggerate. That's usually my lie.

Talia Schneiderman (33:37.452)
He might be in jail. I don't know. I don't know.

Talia Schneiderman (33:53.87)
right

Kristin (33:59.979)
I might have to change it now since I broadcasted my life but I love playing this one like so my let me see it's like a good intuition game. I just love like getting to know people too because I'm like, No, like I added birthday dinner on Tuesday. A couple people went and she said I didn't know she was a black belt in karate and then ski double blacks or something like that. was like, wait. No, it's like

Talia Schneiderman (34:02.709)
Yeah

Talia Schneiderman (34:23.576)
People are so talented. Humans are amazing.

Kristin (34:27.051)
Never known that about you if we wouldn't have played this game.

Talia Schneiderman (34:30.336)
Yeah, I'm really bad at lying, so I'm not good at this game.

Kristin (34:34.455)
I am too.

Talia Schneiderman (34:38.158)
My people could always guess because I'm always giving it away on my face. I don't, I don't have a poker face. I think it's like a blessing and a curse.

Kristin (34:42.431)
No poker face.

Well, you know, I think it is too. I think it is too. And but that's also why I choose to take that one and just replace one single digit because it's like a lot of it is a truth. But only the number shifts. And so it's like, if I'm gonna lie, and I'm gonna play this game, it's easier for me to say that one with some degree of truthfulness then. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (35:00.493)
Right.

Talia Schneiderman (35:06.743)
Right.

Yeah, well, because it's still something that resonates as true, so it's not going to feel completely weird coming out of your mouth. my gosh, your book. I like listen to it.

Kristin (35:15.905)
Yeah, yeah.

Kristin (35:22.029)
Yeah, what did you think? you, did you, were you surprised?

Talia Schneiderman (35:25.408)
Yeah, I was. was. Well, here's the thing. Like, only know you as a student in the acting class. And so I don't know, like, like, it's kind of part of our job to not get personal and close to the students for boundary reasons, you know? And so, like, I don't know what people's personal lives and histories are like. And so I knew that, like, you were fun. I could tell that.

Kristin (35:32.171)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (35:43.095)
Thank you.

Kristin (35:47.413)
Yeah.

Kristin (35:52.693)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (35:54.616)
I knew that you had like a party side to you. Like you seemed like the life of the party. You know, that's like what I got from you just like in class, like bubbly, fun, sweet, sensitive and deeply feeling.

Kristin (36:00.619)
Mmm.

Kristin (36:10.839)
Yeah, deeply feeling once I tapped into it.

Talia Schneiderman (36:12.906)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember. I like remember the moment, Kristin. I do. I do. You were doing a superlative about your dad.

Kristin (36:17.538)
really? you know that? God. Yeah, that one. yeah. And then we had to have instructions about bringing something that fresh.

Talia Schneiderman (36:31.702)
Yeah, but I'll never forget.

Talia Schneiderman (36:36.344)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (36:36.609)
You know, that class was so deeply healing now that I think about it too, through that lens. Not only like connective aspects, but also connecting to yourself, exploring different sides, connecting to emotions and like authentically expressing them.

Talia Schneiderman (36:52.578)
Yeah, yeah. It was for me too. Like every teacher, I don't know if you knew this, but every teacher graduated as a student. Yeah, so I went through the two-year training, David Stanley went through the two-year training, every single teacher did, and then the teachers are invited to come back and train to teach. And so when I was a student, mean, therapy and acting class was so healing for me. Like that combination.

Kristin (37:00.075)
I thought so, yeah.

Kristin (37:21.058)
here.

Talia Schneiderman (37:21.864)
I did not know how I felt and I had zero opinion about anything when I started. Like really, I, because everything about acting, mean, you know this, it's like, what are they doing? How do I feel about it? What are they doing? How do I feel about it? So you have to be super present and in the moment and really open and paying attention. And I was so tied up in, how do they want me to react?

Kristin (37:25.761)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (37:29.483)
Mmm.

Talia Schneiderman (37:51.374)
What are they gonna think of me? What what should I say? What are they expecting me to say that I was so disconnected from my own opinion and I would hide out in being cute like you know, I would hide out in being confused and I would hide out and being like agreeing to avoid how I really felt and so I will forever be grateful to that studio in that class because it

Kristin (37:59.465)
I know it. I know it.

Mm-hmm.

Kristin (38:12.557)
Mm.

Talia Schneiderman (38:21.25)
taught me how I feel and it gave me the confidence to say it. And I know it sounds really simple, but it's really hard to do and not a lot of people do it.

Kristin (38:25.803)
Mmm.

Kristin (38:32.359)
no, I mean like a

When you put that language and perspective on it, I'm like, wow, yeah, well, because I definitely had like a people pleasing aspect of my entire life. I'm like, recovering people pleaser. Yeah, I remember the moment whenever I kind of break down in my closet and was like, shit, I don't know how I feel about anything. I don't know who I am. I was like, I'd become everybody else that they wanted me to be, which to me is like in some ways a form of manipulation to get them to like love or accept me. And so, yeah, I it definitely, I was like, wow, yeah, never looked at

through that lens. It definitely helped reconnect me to feelings. Also writing did too. Or give me permission to. Beautiful. And then just like the community too. Now who knew you could get all this out of an acting class?

Talia Schneiderman (39:08.899)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (39:16.994)
Yeah, I know, I know. It's really, and again, like don't teach there anymore. This is like not a plug for them, but I do still believe that no matter what people chose to do afterwards, that the work that was done in the class can serve you in whatever it is that you do on your journey. And it still does.

Kristin (39:40.928)
sure.

Talia Schneiderman (39:43.522)
Like it's life changing and it's like tools in your tool belt, you know?

Kristin (39:48.683)
Yeah, I mean, I think when I first got up there, there was like a moment I would just be hyper focused on that. I'm like, I'm up here in front of people and I feel super uncomfortable. And so I'd be like, clinging on or my attention or awareness would be like on my interior life of feeling uncomfortable instead of outwardly like on like either the person in front of me or like what I was going. And so I just remember clearly, or I'm like when it shifted and like, my presence.

Talia Schneiderman (39:57.089)
Right?

Talia Schneiderman (40:04.652)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (40:14.219)
My attention is going to be out there.

Talia Schneiderman (40:16.172)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that's an important lesson for everyone. Like the source of your inner life comes from where you put your attention.

Kristin (40:25.857)
powerful mic drop, clip that!

Talia Schneiderman (40:27.59)
Yeah So if your attention, I mean I just reworded what you just said if your attention is on yourself Like yes, you're gonna feel self-conscious Yes, you're gonna feel nervous but if you fully put your attention on the other person Or the thing that you're doing and you're really doing what you say you're doing. It's like that melts away. It's really wild

Kristin (40:40.301)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (40:46.657)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (40:51.389)
It's a good reminder because I've been having just like some anxious moments lately. So I'm like no and it also reminds me like that faith or fear thing like okay if you're choose you can only faith and fear are always battling for your attention or you can put it on faith or you can put it on fear and I like that lens to look through and lately I'm like I've had a few fearful moments.

Talia Schneiderman (41:06.158)
Yeah.

What are you feeling anxiety about?

Kristin (41:14.349)
Mainly because I just went all in and so mainly like I don't like I don't want to use all my savings. I want to make money. So I feel like a sense of urgency. It's also excitement. But but yeah there is like like I'm like my financial wound is like flared up. And so I'm like I acknowledge you but I don't want to move from that place. So I'm like how can I. So like last time like no need to like take a long bath. Put him in the crate.

Talia Schneiderman (41:36.938)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (41:43.841)
Mommy needs her me time. And really resource myself to move from that place versus a place of like scarcity. Because I was, yeah, yeah. Because I'm like, okay, no, I need to have a goal to meet to get like my next project, like compensation money. And I want to do that by the end of the month. And this is kind of throwing me for a whirlwind. Because I would block, you know, time to write or.

Talia Schneiderman (41:53.742)
That's hard.

Talia Schneiderman (42:10.542)
Kristin (42:13.495)
I'd be like, okay, I can write for five hours a day. Cool. No problem. Now it's like, okay, I'm writing when he's sleeping. So that's like two, two and a half hours at a time. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (42:16.204)
Yeah. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (42:23.736)
He'll chill out. He'll chill out. He'll get a little older and he'll chill out. Yeah. Yes, we're talking about you.

Kristin (42:31.117)
I I I took him for a walk yesterday with my neighbor and which really meant we were carrying him and so I was like I'm already thinking about neutering him but I know like I'm gonna wait to like for bone development and all but really

Talia Schneiderman (42:34.004)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (42:51.114)
so we have a puppy also. Yeah, my long time dog that I had even before I met my husband, her name was Emma and she died last, no, this February, February, 2024. And it gutted me. I had no idea that I was gonna feel that way. I mean, they always say it's hard, but I was like, she's old and she had a long life. Like I knew it was coming, but then it took me by surprise. Like it happened really suddenly.

Kristin (43:06.056)
Yeah!

Kristin (43:14.987)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (43:20.332)
And then I couldn't not have a dog. It was like the little things, like her doggy bowl not being there and the dog door being closed and doing the dishes and not seeing her out in the sun. And so we looked for a dog to rescue and we rescued this other, like really soon after. Like she passed away right before Valentine's Day and right before I turned 40 actually. She was like, I...

Kristin (43:23.789)
Yeah.

Kristin (43:29.921)
No.

Kristin (43:35.008)
No.

Talia Schneiderman (43:48.174)
Do you want to hear about death about the dog for a second? my god, okay so she died Pretty suddenly like her health was fine She was just kind of chugging along and then there was one day It was like a Sunday where she skipped a meal like there was and I was like, okay, she didn't eat dinner That's okay. Like she's getting older. She's not eating as much the next day So Monday She skipped it again

Kristin (43:50.581)
Yeah, yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (44:17.108)
And she like didn't really want to get up to eat and drink. And I would bring it to her and she would eat. I'm like, okay. Tuesday, she wasn't getting up and she wouldn't eat if I brought it to her. And then she like, couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. Like she had no, strength in her legs and she like pooped herself. And I was like,

Kristin (44:27.499)
Yeah.

Kristin (44:45.652)
Hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (44:46.7)
I think this is the end, you know, and that decision to put a dog down or to not put a dog down is really, I've never dealt with that as an adult. And then we decided like, okay, I need to bring her in. Like this is no way for her to live. And so on Wednesday, like we had decided and my husband was like, I'll take her. was like, no, this is my dog. Like I've had her even before I met you. And so I remember like,

Kristin (44:51.383)
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

I'm gonna go

Kristin (45:03.175)
Ugh... OOF!

Talia Schneiderman (45:16.494)
taking the kids to school that day and being like, Emma, if you want to die, you can die. Like, and telling her. I came back, she didn't pass. And then I was just like distraught. And then my husband took my daughter to ballet that day and took my son with them so that I can take the dog to the vet. And so I called and I told them and brought her in and they had a room set up. And I was like, how bad is she? Like, tell me, like.

Kristin (45:22.573)
Mmm.

Talia Schneiderman (45:45.824)
should I do this? And so he like gave her a once over and she was like severely anemic, which means she was actually sick. Like, and I didn't know about it. And he basically was like, she's crashing. Like there's nothing you can do. And I was like, he's like, if you wanted to try and save her, like she'd have to go to the ICU right now. This is an emergency situation. And I was like, no, we can't, I can't do that.

Kristin (45:59.213)
Mm.

Kristin (46:12.225)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (46:13.814)
And then we're at the vet. She's kind of like, hooking up at the vet. I was like, but she's, how could I choose to put her down? She's like eating the peanut butter off my hands. She's like looking around. And so the vet was like, look, I can't, this is your decision. Like I can't make it for you. You can, but if this is what you chose to do, I would not disagree. Like I support you. I was like, okay. So then he left me there and I'm like talking to Emma and I'm like, Emma, tell me like.

Is it the right time? Like, is this what I should do? I was like dying over this choice, calling my mom, like, tortured about it. I didn't want to be, I didn't want to play God in that way. I didn't want to, and then the vet came back and he's like, look, you can take her home and let her pass. you don't know what death is going to look like. It could be really peaceful. It could be really violent. You have small children, like think about that. And I was like,

Kristin (46:50.485)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (47:05.805)
Talia Schneiderman (47:10.732)
no, I can't take her home. It's too unknown. My kids are too little. I don't want that for them. And so then I closed my eyes. was like, okay, this is the right choice. And then I turned to the vet and I was like, this is the right choice. And he's like, I hear the hesitation. He was like, really? He's like, I hear the hesitation. I'm like, He walked out and then I was like, Emma, looking at her and she wasn't doing anything. And then I can connect with.

Kristin (47:14.609)
Mm-hmm. I think it's aesthetic. Yeah.

Kristin (47:26.679)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (47:38.334)
animal spirit. I know that sounds a little bit woo, but I can. I'm a bit woo myself. And so I wasn't connecting with her. I wasn't getting anything from her with my eyes open. So I'm like, let me close my eyes. So I took a breath, closed my eyes and I saw her soul, Kristin, out of her body in front of my face. It was like this glowing orange orb. And I was like,

Kristin (47:39.145)
I'm all wooed.

Talia Schneiderman (48:06.624)
Okay, she's not even in her body anymore. Like, I hear this weird noise. Like, and I'm like, I open my eyes, and the dog is fucking having a seizure. She flops over, and I'm like, my God! And I run out of the room, and I, because I was by myself, I'm like, there's something happening, there's something happening, and all the vet techs run in. I'm like, is she dead? Is she dead? And they're like,

cleaning her up and like, no, no, she's not dead. Come back in, come back in. And so I go back in and the vet, the doctor is coming in behind me and I see the dog's chest going up and down. And then he like takes off his stethoscope and like listens at her chest and I get down and he's like, she's gone. I was like, what? I was like, you're fucking kidding me. He's like, no.

And I was like, what a good girl. Like she took the choice out of my hands. She knew, she's like, I'll do this for you. Like her last act was like of such loyalty and love. I'm looking at her picture right

Kristin (49:10.261)
Hmmmm

Kristin (49:16.597)
Mmmmm

Kristin (49:23.437)
makes me cry.

Talia Schneiderman (49:24.14)
I know, and it like destroyed, I was like, I called my husband, he's like, you did the right thing. I'm like, sweetie, I didn't do anything. She did it on her own. Same with my mom, mom, Talia, you did the right thing. I'm like, no, she died by herself. And it was like, I got her when I was like 25 or 26. And she died right before I turned 40.

Kristin (49:28.378)
Ugh.

Kristin (49:33.367)
Well...

Kristin (49:40.289)
Well...

Talia Schneiderman (49:48.76)
She died like February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day, and then I turned 40 February 20th, and it was like her way of being like, I don't need to go into this decade with you, like you're good.

Kristin (49:48.877)
Mmm.

Talia Schneiderman (50:01.096)
And that's how she passed. And it was like a beautiful story that was like really special and spiritual. And yeah, I can't believe it happened that way that she was able to like do that for me. Yeah. I know.

Kristin (50:04.013)
you

Kristin (50:09.227)
Mm-hmm.

That is a beautiful story.

Kristin (50:17.197)
I

Kristin (50:21.996)
What a soul bond too. I totally think we have soul tie or like soul agreements with our with pets too.

Talia Schneiderman (50:29.155)
They do. mean, she was there. She was like, saw me through like the shit, like the hardest parts of my life. She was there through everything. Everything. Yeah. And then she's like, you're good. You're good. And so I just was like, I missed having a dog. I, so we went to go foster one and we brought a dog home and

Kristin (50:35.383)
Hmm

Kristin (50:43.598)
It's so beautiful.

Kristin (50:54.134)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (50:57.528)
Day two, it growled at my son. I was like, not this one. So we gave it back to the rescue. And then we got Pearl, which is our current dog. And she was meant for our family. so when we got her, Emma passed away February 13th we got Pearl March 1st. It was quick. Like I said, it was so hard to not have the presence of the dog. And yeah, so I know what it's like to have a puppy.

Kristin (51:00.331)
Not this one, yeah.

Kristin (51:04.417)
Yeah.

Kristin (51:09.965)
Aww, you love that.

Kristin (51:16.448)
Okay

Kristin (51:21.568)
Yeah.

Kristin (51:27.561)
Yeah, I how old is your dog. Okay. Okay.

Talia Schneiderman (51:29.522)
Now she's almost a year. And so we let her go through her first heat. The same reason why you're letting Boudreaux get a little bit older. But like she went through her first heat. We're like, we're not doing that again. Like it was not fun. No.

Kristin (51:36.182)
Yes.

Kristin (51:42.541)
Did you get diapers? I don't know. Yeah. don't like growing up only had outside dogs for the most part. My dad's dog like came in, but I kind of lived primarily at my mom's and so I didn't have that. And I, yeah, I don't remember experiencing like the dog being in heat or because they were outside for the most part.

Talia Schneiderman (51:51.021)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (51:55.799)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (52:00.599)
Yeah.

Kristin (52:10.655)
And then, yeah, dogs are just so healing and so unconditional, like love. Yeah. It just makes me cry. I'm so grateful. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (52:16.482)
Yeah, it's like they are loyal, like they are there.

I know, I know. It's really sweet. There's like two things I want to ask you about. I guess just say you don't want to talk. One is like you touched on it when you said your financial wound flared up and like, want to know what the sugar daddy experience like. my God.

Kristin (52:31.807)
Yeah, do. Yeah.

Kristin (52:39.158)
Yeah.

hahahahah

Kristin (52:46.677)
It's fabulous. Well, I mean until it wasn't and then it got fabulous again No, I so I did it in two different ways and throughout my life So I did it I had that primary relationship and then I had something I haven't written about at least yet Maybe spoke about a little bit on here. I think I did one podcast called sex Dungeons and sugar tannies Yeah, but yeah, no so I came from like super modest like upbringing financial, you know type of things like money doesn't grow on trees like

Talia Schneiderman (53:05.794)
Okay.

Kristin (53:15.861)
when my parents argued, they argued about money. Like it was like a lot of like financial worries. And so I gather a big sense of safety and security by like money and bank account type of thing. I also always loved adventure. And so yeah, I an older and older guys turns out. And so I and so yeah, it was thrilling is also like taboo. got a thrill out of a little bit being a little bit on the taboo or the edge or like when I'm

supposed to or not supposed to do because I think it goes a little bit back to that good girl conditioning and like maybe and I presented that way for a long time. I'm like, okay, I'll talk the line. I'll get the A's. I'll do all this. But deep down, I don't know. I'm good girl. And so I love the money and getting it wired to my bank account. was I mean, like I went in super naive and super young. didn't broadcast it for a long time. So whenever you mentioned earlier, like in class that you didn't know, I'm like, I don't think many people knew.

Talia Schneiderman (54:00.215)
Yeah...

Talia Schneiderman (54:14.134)
Yeah

Kristin (54:15.093)
I mean, maybe Tamina, I might have confided in Tamina that I had this supporter slash sip-paws-y relationship on and off, toxic plus abusive for a while. And then, yeah, it's always thrilling. And then also there's a part of me that I always knew that whatever life experience I had, it would just give me more story to tell. whether it's like writing or podcasting or relating with people, I just...

Talia Schneiderman (54:19.875)
Ha ha ha!

Talia Schneiderman (54:37.698)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (54:44.717)
I was never, yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (54:46.648)
I mean, I was like, can someone wire me money?

Kristin (54:50.705)
Hey, yeah. Talk about one of the greatest dopamine hits ever. Yeah. Yeah, girl. And like I had never been to a Neiman Marcus before I stepped in there with him. Like, I mean, maybe Dillard's like legit. Like I grew up in a super small town. JCPenney and Dillard's were like the extent of like my

Talia Schneiderman (54:58.135)
my gosh. Can someone take me on a shopping spree? I wanna go shopping.

Kristin (55:20.145)
like shopping extravagances probably. And so going to Neiman's with him that day and he's like buying me and my gay bestie like all these things. I was like, whoa, what world did I step into? I always loved the movie Pretty Woman. Yeah. And yeah, it's just interesting. And we never and we didn't have like any clear

Talia Schneiderman (55:35.412)
I was just thinking that. I was like, pretty woman moment.

Kristin (55:46.327)
conversation about like expectations or anything then like to start. So that those waters were a little bit murky except for he was just like, I know you want to date someone with money and it was just your birthday. So let's go to Neiman's and so that happened. Yeah. And then, you know, there'd be a lot of situations where I think I got wired in a way for argument through or wanting a fight or some kind of

turbulence because after every marker after every turbulent situation he would like wire money in my account for his bad behavior so I was like give me your bad behavior if I get this. So it's like kind of a mind book in a way. Yeah for sure.

Talia Schneiderman (56:23.138)
My conditioned.

Kristin (56:27.958)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (56:29.614)
I'm curious about the one that you haven't really talked about quite yet.

Kristin (56:32.877)
yeah, so that one. So after I wrote my book, I thought, know, I think I can do this in an empowered way, like have boundaries, like speak up for myself, lean into what I do and don't want. Because like then I just like was so pleased. was like, whatever you want. Yeah, back to what we're talking about, not being in touch with like their feelings or emotions or how to express it. Like I just thought he could like understand how I felt by being near him.

Talia Schneiderman (56:52.802)
Yeah, yeah.

Kristin (57:02.175)
I know, or being a mind reader. And so I had a whole go, like a year or two, where I revisited that aspect. And I toyed with the idea now that I'm single, I'm like, don't want to revisit. Right now I'm a no, but that could change. guess, who knows? But yeah, it gave me, because I just looked at it as like dating with support.

Talia Schneiderman (57:02.338)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Talia Schneiderman (57:19.02)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so would it be like, I mean, you'd have to be like attracted to the guy like you'd have. Yeah.

Kristin (57:24.301)
No, yeah, for sure. So there's some level of attraction or I'd fall in love with something, you know. I love their sense of humor, how they treated me or something like that. Or just our organic conversation in chemistry. If it wasn't like, you know, standard or typical, like physical attraction, maybe they were so confident or maybe they were so, you know, how they presented.

Talia Schneiderman (57:48.298)
Yeah, I'm curious about like the mind of the sugar daddy, like...

Kristin (57:54.189)
Yeah, I'd say it just depends and varies. You know, lot of, you know, it's like 50-50 probably of like whether someone's married or not. Now that's not an area that I want to venture down because of the repercussions. Like, I don't know, I just think about more basses now than before.

Talia Schneiderman (58:10.817)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kristin (58:15.191)
Yeah, so I guess like either they wanna keep their marriage and keep their marriage alive. So some of them it's like ethical non-monogamy, some of them it is not, or like it's not talked about. And then some are like so busy and successful that they're like, I don't have time to like pour into the hours of like standard dating. But can we date and like you be like my girlfriend but maybe not have that title. And so, and like some of, a lot of them are, you exclusive.

Talia Schneiderman (58:23.778)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (58:34.84)
Huh.

Kristin (58:44.413)
arrangements or partnerships or relationships and then some of them are not and you just like go through all of that right up front so to me it was like very transparent and honest like out of the jump at least i knew where someone stood what they wanted and they were clear about you know expectations and all that stuff not to say that i didn't get thrown for some loops yeah i had one

Talia Schneiderman (58:53.164)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (59:00.782)
I feel like that's... my gosh, your stories. was like, I binged it. I binged your book. I did. Yes, go binge it. I was like, and honestly, listening to you read it in your own voice was so good.

Kristin (59:11.501)
see Ben's right there, go get your copy.

Kristin (59:22.647)
part was so healing too, just to voice it aloud. was like, Because like one, know, revisiting certain scenarios in life, I thought would be, sometimes I'd be writing and crying, sometimes it would be interesting to see. But when I voiced it aloud, different things evoked emotions. So was like interesting.

Talia Schneiderman (59:25.807)
Mhm.

Talia Schneiderman (59:42.862)
Did it help give you a bit of distance from it? That you were able to see it in an objective way?

Kristin (59:50.093)
I would say.

Kristin (59:56.105)
It was very therapeutic to write my book and to see how to read it. I've read it recently and I read it with so much more compassion for myself that it felt, because I read it as a different woman than the woman who wrote it and I would write it differently probably today. I'd probably have more humor, I'd have more compassion, even more so. And then there's been so much that ended, that book ends in 2019.

Talia Schneiderman (59:59.288)
But to read it, like to, yeah.

Kristin (01:00:23.317)
So there's been so much that's transpired since then that I'm like, I could totally weave in other things or learnings or lessons and that sort of thing or touch on more. So it's interesting. Yeah, there's been distance. I also saw how everything worked for me and like moment. like, my God, that moment with my dad, that's why I did this or this is why I did this or this moment was like why I had such a longing for acceptance from my peers or.

Talia Schneiderman (01:00:26.274)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:00:32.524)
Yeah.

Kristin (01:00:50.989)
something like that. was very clarifying or just like a lot of aha moments and epiphanies. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:00:54.414)
I was, you took the word out of my mouth. So it was like, cause I imagine that when you're writing it, like you're so in it, but when you're reading it, you're kind of like above it and you can see it, like the bigger picture, like the bigger picture in a different way that I could imagine would be very clarifying and aha moments was like, like literally what I was thinking, like, shit, know.

Kristin (01:01:00.513)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, got bars on them. Yeah, yeah.

Kristin (01:01:16.171)
Sure.

Yeah, for sure. Like a bird's eye view perspective on my life. And like really seeing, you know, or like seeing how things that I thought happened to me, I'm like, how even that happened for me? Or like, that's the lens that I choose to look at it through. Cause like, it's the more serving one. And like, helps me live from an empowered state versus a victimized state. Yeah. So I, it's, I'm like, yeah, I totally wrote my own to help live my new.

Talia Schneiderman (01:01:24.373)
Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:01:31.694)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (01:01:48.64)
Yeah, yeah, and I actually that's reminding me of motherhood again and like tying that back in.

Kristin (01:01:53.281)
Mmm.

Mmm.

Talia Schneiderman (01:01:58.41)
My daughter is like a mini me. I'm watching her and I'm like, shit. Like so many of her behaviors and the way she reacts. I was that way when I was a child. And there were things that I wasn't.

Kristin (01:02:02.721)
Mmm.

Kristin (01:02:16.074)
Mmm.

Wow.

Talia Schneiderman (01:02:23.758)
Like for example, I'm the oldest and I wasn't necessarily the nicest to my sibling. She was annoying to me. She was only two years younger and I was as an adult. I'm so hard on myself for how I had treated my sister when I was a child. And I feel like I've been trying to make it up to her as an adult all these years. My daughter

Kristin (01:02:30.091)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristin (01:02:43.563)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (01:02:50.613)
Mm-hmm

Talia Schneiderman (01:02:53.066)
is mean to our son because she's annoyed and the annoyance is real. And so I'm watching her and I'm watching her big feelings and I'm watching her reaction. And I'm like, she's just a kid dealing with hard feelings and he is annoying. And so it was like by, and we need to be kind to each other and use kind words like.

Kristin (01:02:55.461)
Mm. Mm.

Kristin (01:03:20.161)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:03:20.236)
the parenting part of it. And so I was like...

It gave me compassion for myself and self-forgiveness and seeing it reflected to me by my daughter. I was like, okay. She doesn't have the tools to like be anything other than like reactive. And that's, it was, and then like just recently,

Kristin (01:03:27.469)
For sure.

Kristin (01:03:37.771)
Wow.

Kristin (01:03:41.645)
That's beautiful.

Talia Schneiderman (01:03:49.71)
know get exactly how it happened, but like I haven't.

I'm going to use the word mothered myself or loved on my child self. And I remember like, it was a night that my daughter had like a really big outburst about something.

Kristin (01:03:59.468)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (01:04:12.978)
And I, like at night, like we had talked about it. And then I like remember having that conversation with my mom or dad and feeling like I was bad for acting that way. And so then after we had that conversation, like I just hugged her and I just was like, and you're such a good girl Nella, you're so good inside, you're so good. And like,

Kristin (01:04:23.309)
Mmm.

Kristin (01:04:26.944)
Hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (01:04:41.42)
I felt like I was telling myself that at the same time. So yeah, parenthood is wild.

Kristin (01:04:43.569)
yeah.

Kristin (01:04:50.369)
You know, I think inner child work is so important too. Honestly, one more thing about the pup. was so healing for my inner child because I remember like being seven or eight, maybe even younger, six, seven, eight. And like we had a, had a, maybe it was definitely younger because I think it was like our first dog named Lady and one night, Lady just didn't come home. And I was like in the yard just like yelling at her.

I don't know if she got hit by a car, if she got dropped off, someone picked her up. I don't know. Never know. But there was a big wound there that was like, nope, dogs. Arms length. They're going to hurt me. And so getting him has been so healing for my inner child because I'm like, It's like, you did want one. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:05:38.252)
Yeah, yeah, aww. Aw, okay, hold on.

Kristin (01:05:42.283)
Yeah, and even though I know you're gonna leave one day, that's okay. I'm gonna just stay for moment.

Talia Schneiderman (01:05:46.298)
Hold on, so that brings me to your neighbor.

Kristin (01:05:52.118)
yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:05:55.842)
There's a story there, I think. I feel like I...

Kristin (01:05:59.93)
You

Talia Schneiderman (01:06:01.356)
Is he cute?

Kristin (01:06:02.957)
He's definitely older. His heart and generosity is very attractive. I wouldn't say typically standard, like what I'm knee-jerkingly attracted to physically. Yeah, because I like that darker hair. Definitely not in that aspect, but like...

Talia Schneiderman (01:06:22.35)
I do know.

Kristin (01:06:26.423)
kindness is so sexy. But there hasn't been anything. He's expressed the desire. But I've also told him like, I'm pretty much still hung up on my ex. And that's where I'm at right now. I'm single. Yeah. And thank you. I know and he's actually coming here in like five minutes to because we have a vet appointment. So I'm gonna wrap up.

Talia Schneiderman (01:06:28.462)
Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (01:06:39.928)
Yeah. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:06:52.174)
my gosh. my gosh. Yes. Okay. All right. I'll wait and hear what happens after the event. By the way, by the way, if you line up all of the men that I dated before my husband, my husband is the complete opposite of what I was attracted to.

Kristin (01:06:55.827)
TB continued. Yeah.

Kristin (01:07:07.336)
I can voice memo.

Kristin (01:07:16.002)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (01:07:21.761)
Wow. Yeah.

Talia Schneiderman (01:07:22.07)
what I am naturally, and my husband's hot, but I wasn't like, I thought I was gonna be with someone like from a different country. Like I liked the tall, dark and handsome, ethnic, know, obsessed with that and never worked out for me. And Ryan is like the most vanilla man.

Kristin (01:07:31.285)
Yeah, yeah same, yeah.

Kristin (01:07:38.54)
Ha

Talia Schneiderman (01:07:46.926)
on the surface, but underneath he is like so funny, so sweet, so loyal, so compassionate, so kind, so loving, the best dad, hot. Like it was just getting to know him, he kept surprising me because he's a bit shy. So he's not like out there.

Kristin (01:07:55.479)
you

Kristin (01:08:11.985)
Hmm... Mm-hmm.

Talia Schneiderman (01:08:12.706)
for showing off at all, so he's reserved. And then as I got to know him, I was just like, dang. And I still feel that way about him. Yeah. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying. Yes.

Kristin (01:08:18.53)
Yeah.

Still discovering. Well, maybe. Good to know. I will leave you on that cliffhanger. Thank you so much, girl. Shoot, drop everything where people can find, connect with you. like, I'm totally, yeah. 111, I love that. At least here.

Talia Schneiderman (01:08:38.022)
my gosh.

that's perfect. I love that too. Okay, you can find me at the Talia Talks on Instagram or TikTok. I don't have a website yet. I'm working on it, but the Talia Talks and my name is Talia Schneiderman. And yeah, follow along. I would love your feedback on all the things and...

Kristin (01:08:44.136)
Mm-hmm.

Kristin (01:08:50.273)
Beautiful.

Kristin (01:08:57.867)
Yeah. I'm excited to watch and watch it transpire and grow and evolve. Watch you.

Talia Schneiderman (01:09:04.558)
And I'm going to work on your showcase soon on your highlight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that'll be fun. That's okay. That's okay. It's totally okay. It worked out. The timing is great. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much for having me, Kristin. This was so much

Kristin (01:09:07.629)
Took forever to get back to that. Okay. All right. Beautiful. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, honey.